my private place

pain reminds you that you're still alive

2006-04-10T01:51:00.000+08:00

"Where'd You Go? - Fort Minor"

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

She said "Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself trying to stay the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,
But when I pick up I don't have much to say,
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

You know the place where you used to live,
Used to barbecue up burgers and ribs,
Used to have a little party every Halloween with candy by the pile,
But now, you only stop by every once and a while,
Shit, I find myself just fillin' my time,
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I'm doin' fine, I plan to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find that you have something to say,
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses,
For why you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you've got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it...

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...

***

not just career. everything else.
the one thing above all others that i cannot accept.

my world is falling apart and i don't know what to do.
i don't know what to believe. i don't know what's true, what's a lie.

my eyes are so swollen i can't see properly.
they hurt. everything hurts.
i can't breathe. i can't move.
i survive with my inhaler and my bed and my sleeping pills.
when i sleep i can't feel.
but even when i sleep, it doesn't go away.
i have nightmares. i talk in my sleep.
i cry and wake up and try to sleep again but i can't.

it's hard. it's painful.
it's fucking painful and i don't know what to do.
i don't know where to go.

pain reminds you that you're still alive.
right now i'd give anything to not feel the pain anymore.

I need to go away for awhile.
i don't know how long. i don't know where.

i just know that i need to hide.
my world is falling apart and i'm running away.

there's a reason he's called DOOFUS

2006-03-05T12:12:00.000+08:00

DOOFUS: do you know i've been losing weight?

ME: no, you haven't.

DOOFUS: no, ah?

ME: no.

DOOFUS: just lie lah! what's wrong with you...

===

DOOFUS: i like to wear "brack".

ME: hahahaha! "brack", ah?

DOOFUS: did i say "brack"? i know i made a mistake somewhere..

*he meant to say "black"*

===

*DOOFUS got me a little gift of 2 necklaces last night, out of the blue.*

ME: aww, thanks sweetie! why'd you choose these?

DOOFUS: dunno. oh, i got the orange one cos maybe i can wear it too.

ME: .......

one of those meme/list thingies

2006-03-01T10:57:00.000+08:00

pinched this off my sister's blog. this one's fun! heh.

-----

Minus 1% for everything that you've done.
Then repost as your %.
[ start with 100%]

1.Smoked.
2.Drank alcohol.
3.Cried when someone died.
4.Been drunk.
5.Had sex.
6.Been to a concert.
7.Given a handjob/gotten a handjob.
8.Given a blowjob/gotten a blowjob.
9.Been verbally sexually harassed.
10.Verbally sexually harassed somebody.
11.Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
12.Laughed so hard something came outof yournose.
13.Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriendbefore.
14.Been cheated on by aboyfriend/girlfriend.
15.Been to prom.
16.Cried at school.
17.Gotten lost in a WalMart or adepartment store.
18.Went streaking.
19.Given a lap dance.
20.Had someone of the opposite sex inyour room.
21.Had someone of the opposite sexsleep over.
22.Slept over at someone of the oppositesex'shouse.
23.Kissed a stranger.
24.Hugged a stranger.
25.Went scuba diving.
26.Driven a car.
27.Gotten an xray.
28.Hit by a car.
29.Had a party.
30.Done drugs.
31.Played strip poker.
32.Got paid to strip for someone.
33.Ran away from home.
34.Broken a bone.
35.Eaten sushi.
36.Bought porn.
37.Watched porn.
38.Made porn.
39.Had a crush on someone of the samesex.
40.Been in love.
41.Frenched kissed.
42.Laughed so hard you cried.
43.Cried yourself to sleep.
44.Laughed yourself to sleep.
45.Stabbed yourself.
46.Shot a gun.
47.Trash talked someone and then actedlike theirbest friend the next day.
48.Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
49.Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
50.Watched an animal die.
51.Watched a person die.
52.Kissed and/or messed aroundsomewhere withat least 1 person present.
53.Pranked somebody.
54.Put somebody in the hospital.
55.Snuck into someone's room and/oryour ownroom after being out.
56.Kissed somebody of the same sex.
57.Dressed punk.
58.Dressed goth.
59.Dressed preppy.
60.Been to a motocross race.
61.Avoided somebody.
62.Been stalked.
63.Stalked someone.
64.Met a celebrity.
65.Played an instrument.
66.Ridden a horse.
67.Cut yourself.
68.Bungee jumped.
69.Ding dong ditched somebody.
70.Been to a wild party.
71.Got caught stealing something.
72.Kicked a guy in the balls.
73.Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from afriend.
74.Went out with your friend's crush.
75.Got arrested.
76.Been pregnant.
77.Babysat.
78.Been to another country.
79.Started your house on fire.
80.Had an encounter with a ghost.
81.Donated your hair to cancer patients.
82.Been asked out by someone that youneverthough you'd to be asked out by.
83.Cried over a member of the oppositesex.
84.Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3months.
85.Sat on your ass all day.
86.Ate a whole carton of ice cream all byyourself.
87.Had a job.
88.Gotten cut from a sports team.
89.Been called a wh0re.
90.Danced like a wh0re.
91.Been mistaken for a celebrity.
92.Been in a car accident.
93.Been told you have beautiful eyes.
94.Been told you have beautiful hair.
95.Raped somebody.
96.Danced in the rain.
97.Been rejected.
98.Walked out of a restaurant withoutpaying.
99.Punched someone/slapped someonein theface.
100.Been raped.

FINAL SCORE: 21%

mmm. yeah. i've done some pretty crazy things, alright.

so.

what's your score?

your money has been delayed by the "system"

2006-02-28T20:57:00.000+08:00

today, i found out that inter-bank transfers take 3 working days to process.

3. whole. days.

and in banking terms, a "day" ends at 3.30pm. so if you transfer cash from BANK A to BANK B on monday at 4pm, you'll have to wait 4 working days to get your money.

i am NEVER doing an interbank transfer EVER AGAIN.

NEVER, i swear. how infuriating!

they should at least advise people of the extended time frame. i mean, how difficult is it to put a small notice there?!

so much easier than making me panic and run around like a headless chicken and end up calling your customer service center, where i have to wait 10min on hold for me to get an answer.

geeeeeeez, man!

-----

DOOFUS is, in his own words - "very disturbed by the bastard calling you last night."

he's still harping about it now.

silly DOOFUS.

honestly, i didn't like it either. but i ain't gonna let it affect me.

i just wish it wouldn't affect DOOFUS so much. poor thing.

i am a closet idol-worshipper

2006-02-24T20:11:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry. i just had to do this. geeky or not. i don't care.

---

my favourites in AMERICAN IDOL this season:

taylor hicks

don't ask me why. he's so weird and goofy that its cute. besides, he's a pretty good singer. typical lovable underdog that everyone secretly roots for. awwwww.

ace young

my favourite contestant as of now, if only because he sang george michael's "father figure", which i absolutely totally completely adore to death. plus, he's a looker, isn't he? *swoon* oh, yeah, not a bad singer too. heh.

chris daughtry

i love his voice. i love his look. i love his attitude. i love his charisma. i love everything! my favourite contestant, before ace young blew me away last night. heh.

katharine mcphee

i like. thats that. no need to explain. :p

lisa tucker

16 year old powerhouse, with a super sweet personality to boot. i wish i had her smile.

mandisa

if you saw her performance last night, and you don't think she's good, then YOU ARE BLIND & DEAF & STUPID. hmph.

---

ok. now that i've got that outta my system, normalcy shall resume. heh.

book list UPDATED - 22/2/06

2006-02-22T14:05:00.000+08:00

don't mind me. just posting a list of books i wanna get, for easy reference.

C.S. LEWIS

chronicles of narnia (7 books)

MATTHEW REILLY

*seven ancient wonders*
hell island

ROBERT LUDLUM

~~the altman code~~
the lazarus vendetta
the moscow vector

ARTHUR GOLDEN

~~memoirs of a geisha~~

CLIVE CUSSLER

black wind
lost city
polar shift
sacred stone
dark watch

IAN CALDWELL & DUSTIN THOMASON

~~the rule of four~~

SIMON MAWER

~~*the gospel of judas*~~

JOHN CORNWELL

hitler's pope

MICHAEL BAIGENT, RICHARD LEIGH & HENRY LINCOLN

holy blood, holy grail

LARRY NIVEN & JERRY POURNELLE

*lucifer's hammer*

NEIL GAIMAN

american gods
neverwhere
anansi boys
the sandman series

ANNE RICE

*christ the lord : out of egypt*

GLEN DUNCAN

*i, lucifer*
weathercock
the death of an ordinary man

GEORGE ORWELL

~~1984~~
~~animal farm~~

JONATHAN RABB

~~the overseer~~

JEREMY ROBINSON

the didymus contingency

JAMES ROLLINS

map of bones

JACK DU BRUL

vulcan's forge
charon's landing
the medusa stone
river of ruin
havoc

PAULINE GEDGE

the hippopotamus marsh
child of the morning
scroll of saqqara

DAN BROWN

~~da vinci code~~
~~angels and demons~~

SOPHIE KINSELLA

shopaholic series
the undomestic goddess
can you keep a secret?

CHRISTIAN JACQ

queen of freedom series (the empire of darkness, the war of the crowns, the flaming sword)

judge of egypt series (beneath the pyramid, secrets of the desert, shadow of the sphinx)

mysteries of osiris series (the conspiracy of evil, the great secret, the tree of life, the way of fire)

STEL PAVLOU

decipher

DAVID GIBBINS

atlantis

LEV GROSSMAN

codex

---

FUCK. ME.

thats a bloody shitload of books. and this is just HALF the list.

ahhh, crap.

anyone wanna sponsor me with a coupla thousand bucks for all these books?

i'll open a library and name it after you, i promise.

or..

on another note..

my birthday's coming. and so's christmas.

heh.

---

edit: 141205
edit: 020106
edit: 220206

i am in PAIN

2006-02-13T23:50:00.000+08:00

my stomach has been hurting me since friday. non stop.

when i eat, i feel like barfing. when i sleep, i need to curl up into a ball.

nothing works!

po chai pills / charcoal pills / honey lemon / tea / warm water / cold water / some weirdo pills in my medicine cabinet / tiger balm / cap limau / warm towel

they cannot help meeeee! howhowhow?

it feels like the hulk and king kong have been taking turns using my gut as a punching bag to vent all their pent up ~~sexual~~ frustrations.

and then, when they've finished pummelling me poor tummy, they decide to be friends ~~since they both have pent up sexual frustrations~~ and use my stomach as an organic super stretchy rope on which they play a friendly match of tug of war to determine who ~~has the most chance of scoring with that hot chick that thinks both of them are equally stinky and gross~~ is the strongest.

punching bag + tug of war + stomach = NOT $@^@%#$!^% FUN FOR ME AT ALL!

(even though i'm sure king kong and the hulk - who have shrunken themselves using that ray gun from "HONEY I SHRUNK THE KIDS" - are currently camping out in my stomach, are having oodles of funlaughterpeaceandjoy - at my expense.)

ARGHH!

stoopid stomach.

rubbish body.

i need a new body! i need new body parts! UPGRADE UPGRADE!!

eh. you think i trade in my old body, can get discount or not?

p/s: i don't know why there are so many references to "SEX". this has to do with my STOMACH. not *ahem* other.. regions.

my mind works in bafflingly strange and utterly mysterious ways, man.

so who's the genius?

2006-02-10T12:03:00.000+08:00

huh.

FROSTED FLAKES PORTABLE - A/DG

a few years ago, while i was doing my part time diploma in business, our marketing project was centered around KELLOGGS.

and we came up with this exact same idea - to make cereal and milk portable in snack packs.

at that time, we were aiming mainly at children - especially those whose parents would be too busy to pack food for them - or for busy people on the go.

i know i'm just deluding myself, seeing as how KELLOGGS probably had this same idea way before we did and has been spending the past few years testing it.

but i still really couldn't help but go "HEY! THATS MY IDEA!!".

i mean, who knows? maybe we really came up with it first, and the same idea struck KELLOGGS later on.. which makes us the pioneers, the inventors, the innovators..

huh.

maybe we should have patented the idea when we had the chance. damn.

sitting on my ass, bumming around...

2006-02-08T21:16:00.000+08:00

boo!

i'm boooooored!

but i can't be arsed to write a proper post. even though i haven't filed down my CNY memories after relentless procrastinating. booo!

so lazy.

i shall just use the excuse that i am very sick and am on 2 weeks of medication to see if it clears up.

meh.

eileen --

[adjective]:

Visually addictive

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Your Daddy Is Arnold Schwarzenegger

What You Call Him: Pa

Why You Love Him: He knows best

Who's Your Daddy?

NOOOOOOOOO! what did i do to deserve this? why, god, WHY?????

bodyart & a hot guy

2006-01-15T21:13:00.000+08:00

ladies and gents, meet my new tattoo:

which makes #3 on the bodyart front, joinin the family on friday the 13th.

this one hurt. more than the biohazard on my lower back. or maybe it was just the lack of alcohol to numb my senses. i dunno. this is the first tat i've gotten that i've been completely alcohol-free. hmm.

strange, though.

you would think, that with the amount of fats around my belly to cushion the needle, it wouldn't have hurt that much.

ah well. pain or not, its done, i've survived. without any screaming or crying or fainting. just a few jibes from my dear friends about my jiggly tummy. yeahyeahyeah. i'm fat. so what. a woman needs a bit of meat on her, aight? bah.

DOOFUS cannot, for the life of him, understand why anyone would want to put themselves through such suffering and pain just to get a tattoo.

i don't claim to understand it, either. but if you took away my tattoos, i'd feel weird. naked. i wouldn't be me.

me and DOOFUS have more or less settled on the location of tattoo #4. (after much haggling and negotiation. meh.) no, its not gonna be on my butt. although it IS rather close to that general area.

i already know what i want for #4. just need to make final decisions on the eventual words, once DOOFUS gets the list for me.

i'm such a sucker for pain, man.

weirdo.

---

i don't care WHAT anyone else says, but DAMN! ricky martin is HOTHOTHOTHOTHOT!

i just saw him on oprah (yeah. i occasionally watch oprah. oh, shut up.) and he looks alot better now, than he did years ago.

come on - how can anyone not love that face? i liiike..

so rugged, so "bad boy" now - what with the unshaven-ness and all.

and those eyes, those EYES! my god!

oh, and let's not forget his wonderful sex-ay moves. face it. men who can dance are hot. men who can rotate their hips THAT gorgeously are beyond hot.

yes. it takes sooo little to make me go absolutely, insanely, crazily GOOGOOGAGA.

but y'know what?

I don't care
I just wanna be yours
I know I told you I'd never love you the way that I did again after all that you did to me
But I got to say

I don't care
I just wanna be yours
And I tried everything in my power to never ever say "please come back to me"
But I got to say

but shhh.. don't tell my boyfriend. ;)

---

p/s : why is food so bloody expensive nowadays?!

DOOFUS and i ate bak kut teh on friday, and the bill came up to $20 - $10 per person.

wtf!

at this rate, i'm gonna seriously need to start dieting. not out of fear of putting on weight, but out of fear that MONEY NO ENOUGH TO BUY FOOD.

rubbish, lah.

pfft.

what the hell is "normal" anyway?

2006-01-10T10:27:00.000+08:00

yesterday, me and DOOFUS went out and attempted the "normal life" thing. well, as much of a "normal life" as possible, given the circumstances.

it was kinda weird. but nice. to do "normal" stuff.

its really hard to have a "normal" life - a "normal" relationship - when we both have a million commitments.

especially, WORK. working 12, 14 hours a day, 6 (and sometimes 7) days a week doesn't leave much time for anything else. add to that family commitments, social commitments, blahblah, etcetc..

you can see how we're lucky if we get to see each other weekly. and even then its only for a few hours, if we're fortunate.

we hardly get the opportunity to go out, and do the things that a lot of couples take for granted.

like - watching movies, and having lunch/dinner, and drinking coffee. or shopping together. or just walking around, spending time together, talking..

but. we're trying. as best we can.

hey. our relationship's not perfect. no one's is. but in a lot of ways, what we have is good. sometimes. most of the time. yeah.

so anyhow.

we ended up at plaza singapura. walking around. looking at stuff. being together.

and then we grabbed dinner at pastamania. where DOOFUS has, amazingly, never eaten ever before. shocking, huh?

so we sat down, and decided what we wanted, and then.. DOOFUS calls to the server guy : "can we order now?" and i had to tell him that we had to go to the counter and order.

"OH! okay.. i feel so suaku!"

so much like his namesake, i tell you. heh.

we managed to make it through dinner without any major mishaps, though.

it felt really good to be able to just sit down and eat a meal together and talk about random stuff. kinda weird, since we're both not really used to it, but so nice.

scrapped plans for drinks with his cousin, canned the movie idea, and just headed back to laze around watching dvds and snacking on mac d's.

santa's slay SUCKED. i'm traumatised. i choose to believe santa claus is real. he lives in finland. he has the whole workshop and whatnot. he has reindeer, but not necessarily magical flying ones. and no, he doesn't fly around, sliding down chimneys, delivering presents. but he EXISTS. he's real. he's there. and he's GOOD. not evil. dammit.

DOOFUS thinks i'm crazy to believe that. he found the movie kinda cool. pfft. what do men know? pfft.

the longest yard was pretty funny. but it sucks that caretaker kicks the bucket. tragedy in a comedy. not good.

cinderella man was suprisingly good. for a boxing movie. i don't like boxing. maybe its because DOOFUS made me watch that will smith movie, ali, so many times. overkill, i tell ya. but cinderella man had a pretty alright storyline. DOOFUS just loved the boxing bits. men. pfft.

yeah.

so that was our attempt at a "normal" life.

and now, its back to our erratic schedules and 12 hour workdays. at least till the next time we both get time off that coincides.

oh, i came across this quote that i'd just like to share with my dear ones. especially those going through difficult times :

"human love is an infinite resource. no matter how many times its expended, whether stolen or given away, love can grow again - like a flower from a bulb - and fill your heart."

remember that, ok?

i know, from experience, that there is truth in that quote.

keep your chin up, be strong, and have faith.

at least, try. :)

hello 2006!

2006-01-01T20:37:00.000+08:00

DOOFUS has had to go for a last minute business trip to KL. on new year's day. with less than a few hour's notice.

this really sucks major ass, lah.

i don't like. not at all.

---

party at shilt & jenn's last night was cool. lots of alcohol. lots of noise. lots of screaming. lots of shouting. lots of dirty-minded sexual innuendos. lots of drunken peoples.

and the police came to bust up the party. TWICE.

er.. oops..

looks like we were a leeeetle beeet too noisy.

tsktsk.

but it was still good. yeah.

photos are being uploaded. proof of all the debauchery and whatnot that we indulge in under the influence of ze sacred liquid (aka alcohol). heh.

just for the record, no i was NOT mabuks outta my skull.

in fact, this entire holiday season, i have been an absurdly good girl.

alcohol makes me do really stupid things.

thus, is very good idea to refrain, especially in the company of my friends, who i am positive will never let me forget about the stupid ass things i do.

makes so much sense. mm-hmm.

i'm hungry.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

lets all hope the year 2006 is way, way better than 2005 (doesn't matter if you had a good year or a sucky year. it works either way.)

cheers, darlings!

presents rock my ding-dongs

2005-12-30T22:32:00.000+08:00

wow. good haul this year, on the presents front. yay! i is happy!

me birthday and christmas pressies!
(so i don't forget what everyone got me next year. meh.)

DOOFUS gave me these doggies, sorta for my birthday. guess which one's my favourite? hint: its the black one. heh.

and they all have names, ok! see if you can figure out which ones DOOFUS named, and which ones are mine..

POUCHIE ; MUTT ; BOBO

BOOBOO ; TOPAZ ; JOJO

Perlini's Silver Bracelet - Shilton & Jenn
Pink Top & Body Shop Strawberry Bath Gel/Body Lotion - Sue-Lynn

Hokey Pokey Elmo! (my personal "vibrator". heh.) - Suhaila"Not Married Not Bothered" Book - Auntie Emy

pretty pretty SHOES! - Wayne

Thongs (isn't the elephant one damn cute?! i don't care. it is.) - BrandonBeano Comic & MONEY - Mum & Dad

Chappelle's Show DVD - DanielBlack ~~Chinoisiere~~ "chinese print" Clutch Bag - Samantha

Green Top - Auntie EmyCats Mug - Val

Hot Pink HAVAIANAS! - Jon & RoShoes - Scott

Hand Painted T & Earrings - Steph

Bonds Thongs & "blingbling" Keychain - Sue-LynnSpa Set - Haresh & Jay

"Memoirs Of A Geisha" Book - SuhailaBody Shop Oceanus Bath Gel/Body Lotion - Dawn

Sandals - WayneBody Shop Papaya Body Scrub - Uncle Vern & Auntie Joyce

also..

my sister made me a huge bowl of mashed potatoes for my birthday
my mum & dad both gave me money for my birthday
jon bought me a glass of bailey's at crazy e, as a belated birthday pressie

umm.. yeah.. i think thats it.

weeeeee! presents.. weeeeee! i liiiiiiiike!

i love all my pressies! thanks again, everyone!

merry christmas

2005-12-26T01:17:00.000+08:00

for the longest time, christmas has been a season of bittersweet feelings for me. happiness. sadness. excitement. disappointment. thankfulness. anger.

this year, its no different.

i don't know why i even bothered to expect and hope that it would be different.

this year, i told myself. this year will be different. this year i have nothing to be upset about. i have a bunch of lovely friends that i adore. i have a boyfriend. i have my family. i have a shitload of awesome presents.

oh, how bloody wrong i was.

i can't remember the last time i cried during christmas. i always make the effort to be happy, even if its just cos christmas is supposed to be joyous and all.

i ended up more disappointed that i can remember being in a long long time.

its more than just being angry at a person. its more than just pettiness. its more than all that.

its about having your heart broken. and on the day thats supposedly one of the happiest in the year.

its about losing faith in something that you once held so important, so precious, so cherished, so loved.

its about sadness, and anger, and tears, and apologies that don't mean jackshit.

what's done is done. no one can turn the clock back and make things right again. and that's that.

so yeah.

i guess you could say my christmas pretty much sucked major ass, once again.

i hope you enjoyed yours.

merry christmas.

just one last question.

which do you think is better?

to be in a relationship, but constantly feeling like you're not in one,

or,

to not be in a relationship at all?

i need to think. i need to sleep. i need to be alone. for awhile.

-----

to my dearest boys and my lovely girls:

i hope all of you liked your presents. and i hope everyone had a good time these past few days.

i know for alot of you, this christmas is bittersweet as well. all i can say is, that i love you guys a huge load and i know its doesn't really help, but its as much as i can give.

thank you all for the wonderful presents. i love them all.

thank you for the laughs, for the food, for the friendships, for the love, for the insanity, for the comfortable silences, and most of all, for letting me be me when i'm with you guys.

merry christmas, once again.

much love and hugs,
eileen

santa claus is coming to town

2005-12-23T12:47:00.000+08:00

FINALLY!

i've settled all my christmas presents.

i am so damn tired.

i have been running around town looking for gifts numerous times in the past week or so.

i have been up late every night doing christmas stuff.

ugh.

but the worst part is yet to come.

WRAPPING PRESENTS.

i have one day left to wrap all my presents. ONE measly day.

good lord.

i was up till almost 5am, working on christmas stuff.

now i am in the office and freaking stoned outta my mind.

tonight is sue-lynn's birthday celebs at crazy elephant.

i need to rush home after work and rush out again.

i have a feeling i'm gonna fall asleep and maybe drown myself in the river due to sheer exhaustion.

tomorrow is christmas eve.

i need to run some errands in the afternoon.

i need to wrap 3 bagfuls of presents.

i need to make myself look pretty for midnight mass.

i need to change my toenail color. (green? red? red and green? red with white dots? gargh!)

i need to decide what to wear!

after midnight mass, its gonna be a mad rush.

back home to pick up the presents.

bran and scott's place. (please feed me! i have no supper at home this year, due to the fact that my sister's church friends are taking over the house.)

wayne's place. (mmm. booze. mmm.)

sunday is "eat food until grow fat" day.

lunch at my grandma's.

dinner at jon's.

second dinner at roy's?

i'm gonna become a WHALE. but food is goooooood.

monday should be spent resting and recuperating in preparation for yucky back-to-work on tuesday.

but i don't think it'll be peaceful.

boxing day lunch at richie's?

drinks with random many peoples?

hmmm.

alrighty.

i shall now adjourn to the toilet to sit on the toilet bowl and attempt to catch a few zzzzz's. (yes i know it sounds disgusting. but the toilets in my office building are really pretty clean.)

starting from tonight, CHAOS REIGNS, man. w00t!

its CHRISTMAS, bitches! yay!

----------

i have a ton of photos and random stuff to blog about, but i've really been so bloody busy the past few weeks that i haven't had the time.

soon, SOON.

so pleeeeease, stop harassing me about pictures!

BUSY LAAAAAAAAH!

meh.

we're all going on a summer winter holiday

2005-12-09T12:15:00.000+08:00

i will be in hong kong this weekend, with the brother and the parentals.

it is winter in hong kong now.

FRIDAY
Mostly Cloudy
High: 22° Low: 18°

SATURDAY
AM Clouds PM Sun
High: 23° Low: 16°

SUNDAY
Partly Cloudy
High: 23° Low: 15°

MONDAY
Sunny
High: 22° Low: 13°

FUCK.

i'm gonna freeze my bloody arse off.

there better be shopping to be done and it better not be bloody winter clothes everywhere if not imma gonna throttle someone.

*grumble*

hong kong here i come.

um.. yay?

birthday update

2005-12-08T22:36:00.000+08:00

ok, this is waaay long overdue. i is champion procrastinator! heh.

O BAR - 25 November 05

don't ask. you don't want to know.

haresh reads minds part time. jon and bran dream of being hong kong triad members (refer to "gu wa zhai").

wayne is not gay, just "metrosexual" *cough*. the amazing "4 head, 3 body, 5 hand" monster.

er.. kissy-poo?!

most r/a moment of the night :

getting 3 lap dances from jon - 1 time his, er, crotch was barely inches from my face. dude! wah lau..

and then jon turning around to find DOOFUS standing right behind him. hahaha!

most embarrasing moment of the night :

crying over my birthday cake while my lovelies sang me my birthday song (screamed my birthday song, more like. heh.)

darling DOOFUS ran out of the club halfway and went all the way to swensen's in orchard to get me a cake at the last minute.

and there i was wondering where the hell he'd gone to.

most stupidest moment of the night :

its either ordering and eating macdonalds outside o bar, or trying to cut the frozen ice cream cake with a plastic knife.

the entire cake lifted off the tray when i tried to take the knife out. doh!

most irritating moment of the night :

realising at the end of the night that i was freaking straight assed sober - after downing 4 sambuccas, at least 5 tequila shots, and at least 1 jug of vodka cranberry.

i completely skipped the getting high/drunk part and went straight to having a hangover.

rubbish!

and the most bestest part of the whole night?

having my friends and DOOFUS around me.

a girl couldn't have asked for more!

*grin*

** FULL PHOTO ALBUM **

okthankyoubyebye.

i is "no need to pay" event organiser

2005-12-07T17:02:00.000+08:00

man, tryin to find a place for my brother's 21st birthday is a real bitch and a half.

not enough time! not enough options! so many requirements!

soooo terok, lah, i tell you!

1) must be in orchard/town area
2) must have "private" area (don't wanna mingle with ze "public")
3) must be nice place
4) must have dinner and DRINKS (preferably buffet)
5) must be FREE ON 16th DECEMBER, FRIDAY

i tell you something..

IT IS BLOODY DIFFICULT TO FIND SOMEWHERE THAT FITS ALL THE REQUIREMENTS OK!!

hard rock - fully booked
brewerkz - fully booked
paulaner brauhaus - fully booked

dan ryan's - no buffet, no private area
tony roma's - no buffet, got private room

ack!

my brother is carnivorous, western style - so all those chinese/thai/asian/oriental/etc places all cannot.

my brother specifically requested "as long as in town area" - so all those places in novena/holland v/sentosa/changi/ulu baba kampung area/etc all cannot.

my brother wants to have it on a friday, his actual day - so all those popular places all cannot (because they bloody hell all fully booked : "so sorry, december all our weekends are full.. corporate event and party season lah.."

&$&%#@&#^@!!!

i think we're just gonna go with the tony roma's option.

good food.
got alcohol.
private room (no need booking fee somemore!)
in orchard.

that's the best that i can do, in such extremely short notice.

brother's gonna check with his friends and let me know ASAP, so i can confirm the damn thing.

i am crossing my fingers, toes, eyes, ~~balls~~ breasts - that his friends will all say "AYE!".

if not i bloody hell gotta go do more research and make a thousand and one more phone calls in search of a new venue.

*cries*

p/s: no, i'm not "complaining". i don't mind doing this for my brother. really. i'm just merely making a few statements. that is all.

bleh.

hellothankyougoodbye

2005-12-02T22:35:00.000+08:00

hoo boy!

its been a busy week, man.

last friday, my birthday celebration at o bar.
last saturday, len's birthday chalet at changi.
sunday & monday, birthday celebs & much needed rest.
tuesday, shopping with my mum.
wednesday, catching up on work.
thursday, hospital to visit su.
today, catching up on work.

ARGH!

i need more TIME! christmas is 3 weeks away and i haven't finished all that's needed to be done! panic mode is creeping in. eep!

sigh.

i need to upload photos from my birthday (yes, i know you guys are waiting. sorrysorry. busy laaah. heh.) i need to blog about my birthday, before i forget.

but i'm so L-A-Z-Y. i'll do it tomorrow. or sunday. or.. something.

i am such a procrastinator. sheesh!

today - random sh-mandom day!

check out my avatar from yahoo! does it look like me?! i think so lah. oh, excuse the penguins. i couldn't help it. i have a THING for penguins. they sho cuuuute!

tuesday, me and me mum went for the shiseido sale. good lord! hordes and hordes of women! pushing and shoving and grabbing.. *shudder*

got myself some good stuff - mainly make up - and blew $260 between me and my mum.

bestest buy :

3 little 3ml bottles of cle de peau beaute "la creme" for 30 smuckeroos.
expensive?! NOT AT ALL, my dear ones. you see the big bottle? its 30ml and it retails for $800+ in stores. i checked on the internet, and it was retailing for $450 US smuckeroos, dudes!

which means - 3ml is worth around $80 - and i got 9ml for $30. woohoo!

yes, i know, i'm such a schmuck for crap like this. I IS CHEAPO! heh.

this was the same night that my mum made BEEEEEG BOO-BOO.

it was raining pretty heavily when we got back, and my mum somehow - in her haste to get her umbrella outta her bag and all - stupidly left her bag in the cab.

silly woman was panicking and all. thank god for her supergirl daughter (me lah, of course!) that quickly got things under control. which resulted in scatterbrained mum getting her precious bag back.

I IS POWER! I IS THE WOMAN!

muahahaha!

and the best thing about this episode - my mum now has to give us all one immunity each, the next time any of us lose anything.

which means no nagging no scolding no black face no nothing! yay!

yes, i wrangled the immunities while she was still on a happy high from getting her bag back.

i is evil daughter. heh.

ooooh! brother's back from camp and parents have arrived bearing food for hungry child (me!) i am off to stuff my fat face now.

goosh-byes!

p/s: oh. guess who called me on tuesday - FBB(ex)B shaun. supposedly to wish me happy birthday (yeah. 2 days late. pfft.) and blah blah blah. pfft.

25 and counting

2005-11-27T22:41:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

i am officially a quarter of a century old. ack!

the weekend's been a blast.

i'm so happy that everything worked out. it was way better than i expected.

huge assed thanks to all my lovelies - darling DOOFUS, my boys, the girls...

photos and updates coming soon.

for now, i need to rest, relax and recuperate.

old age means you don't have stamina anymore, ok.

old people's body cannot tahan all this excitement and exertion.

ugh.

2005-11-25T12:34:00.000+08:00

in today's news :

Friday November 25, 12:17 PM

12-foot python caught in Toa Payoh

SINGAPORE : A 12-foot python caused a stir at Block 212, Lorong 8 Toa Payoh on Thursday evening.

The python had been sighted more than 10 days ago but residents believed it had been hiding in a water pipe.

An odd-job labourer and his friend who tried to catch the python then, were successful this time round - when they managed to lure it out with a slab of meat.

The police were called in and the snake was put in a sack and taken away. - CNA/de

FUCK.

i am NOT going home anymore.

someone please be kind enough to provide a place to stay that is FAR FAR AWAY from toa payoh and its bloody snakes.

12 feet.. 12 feet!! thats 3.6576 meters..

THATS FREAKING MORE THAN TWICE MY BLOODY SIZE!

*faints*

i am in LURVE!

2005-11-24T16:43:00.000+08:00

weeeeeeeeee!

i have given my heart away.

behold, the new owners of my heart!

HAVAIANAS!

KITTEN HEELS

"FLASHHOP"

"FASHION" (with slight platform)

"BUBBLE GUM ROSE", and "METALLIC SILVER" (flats)

I LIKE VERY VERY MUCH!

I WANT MANY MANY MUCH!

heh.

yes.

i'm not suaku. i know these have been on the market for donkey years already.

i've always liked them, and i've always wanted them.

but now i REALLY REALLY love them.

and i REALLY REALLY want them.

aren't they all so pretty?

niiiiice.

and this bikini is so gorgeous.

man, if only i had HALF as nice a body to stuff into a bikini..

*grumble*

oh, and on a side note - thanks to my darling boys for cheering me up some. bestest pals a girl could ask for. ;)

and once again, folks...

2005-11-23T14:19:00.000+08:00

i'm thinking of calling off my birthday thingie this weekend.

i seem to have lost my mood.

please don't ask me why.

i quote myself : "every year, at the end of the year, things screw up."

and this is why, i've never had a truly happy birthday celebration. not since... i can't even remember when was the last good one.

something ALWAYS happens.

fuck this shite.

i'm going online window shopping to cheer myself up.

2005-11-21T16:30:00.000+08:00

i just remembered -

yesterday, DOOFUS ate:

5.00pm - 1 filet o fish + 5 pieces of mcnuggets + 1 large fries

6.45pm - 1 cheeseburger

7.30pm - 1 filet o fish + 3/4 large fries

9.00pm - 1 time out chocolate bar

1.00am - 3 slices cheese pizza

yesterday, i ate:

5.00pm - 1 piece of mcnuggets + 1 large fries

1.00am - 3 slices cheese pizza

i am amazed.

ah well.

the DOOFUS is a ~~growing boy~~ big man who needs his nourishment.

i've been a naughty naughty girl

2005-11-21T12:13:00.000+08:00

oooh. i've been a baaaad girlie!

supposed to spend the weekend working, but i decided to screw it all and play truant. heh.

hey. working 14 hour days for the past few weeks SUCKS MAJOR ASS. ok? so excuse me for feeling like i needed a break before i poked my own eyes out with my trusty plastic fork.

however, sadly, i don't think my mother feels the same way. bah. slave driver. bah.

anyhow. i had a lovely weekend!

friday night, i met jon in gardens for some good ol' teh bing, thosai, and catching up. i love talking to my boys. never fails to put me in a cheery, warm-and-fuzzy, comfortable frame of mind.

saturday afternoon, i dragged my huge fat bum out the door at 1 freaking pm in the afternoon (ack! sun! my skin! it burns! nooooo!) to meet wayne, shilton, jen, vic and ty in town. popped by the bead shop to get supplies and had kick ass super filling chicken breast and mashed potatoes at marche. *yumslurpdrool*

shopping and walking around and shopping and walking around..

oh, and the iced mango tango from coffee club seriously rocks my socks. can't say much for the butterscotch banana cheesecake though. (mm.. ba-na-na! haha.)

by the time it hit 7pm, me and wayne were literally DEAD ON OUR FREAKING FEET.

excruciating pain in feet!! i had blisters on my little toes, big toes, heels, ankles.. everywhere!

went home and completely knocked out.

shopping is strenuous exercise, balls. and i ain't got no more stamina cos i am an OLD FREAKING LADY already.

basket.

ooooh! SOMEONE BUY ME TOYS FOR CHRISTMAS!!

i went completely bonkers in the paragon toy department. NEVER let me loose in the toy department. i will either embarrass you, or embarrass myself, or do unspeakable non-child-friendly things to the toys. *snigger*

i want the robot dinosaur!
i want the hokey pokey cookie monster!
i want the furby!
i want i want i want I WANT!!

but don't buy me the harry potter pet monster thingie, ok? i got scared when it suddenly moved and dropped the bloody thing.

i is wuss. meh.

sunday, me and DOOFUS went all the way to the freaking OMNITHEATRE (jurong! goddammit! jurong! must bring passport!) to watch HARRY POTTER.

the movie was a bloody crockful of bleeding crappy shitty RUBBISH.

NOTHING like the book. i got so pissed off i wanted to walk out. i hate it when screen adaptations veer off the book storyline. its damn irritating. and i get very agitated.

and paying $15 per person just to make yourself dizzy watching the bloody wide screen is crap shite.

its so damn hard to focus! half the time, all you see is some blurry figures on the screen. the other half time, you're turning your head left and right to take in the whole scene.

AND! we had to queue up for ONE AND A HALF HOURS. because the omni theatre is FREE SEATING.

bloody hell! i pay $15 and buy tickets almost 4 hours in advance and you still expect me to fight with people for good seats?!

ABSURDITY!

ah well. at least it was an "experience".

see, both me and DOOFUS knew the movie was gonna suck ass, so we decided we might as well make something of a different experience of it. hence the omnitheatre.

bah. rubbish.

on a side note, DOOFUS made me go on the motion simulator thing with him. $4 for 4 min. and it wasn't even THAT good. just made my ass hurt from all the bumping around. hmph.

now, back to the office. back to 14 hour work days. back to slavery.

until this weekend.

BIRTHDAY WEEKEND!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

good news has never sounded this good

2005-11-09T18:21:00.000+08:00

i am a very happy girlie today.

the past 2 weeks have been a terrible roller coaster ride of emotions and uncertainty.

fear, hatred, anger, confusion, sadness - and even a few moments of suprising warmth, love, happiness and gratitude for good measure.

thank god (literally. i'm going to church this weekend!) for small miracles.

from feeling like my entire world was crashing down around me, to feeling like i can take on the world (and win!).

and from now on, i'm REALLY gonna start taking care of my health. i promise.

and a huge THANK YOU to those that know and have been there for me (er, all... three? of you.)

listening to me rant and rave and literally fall apart before your eyes is definitely NOT fun, but you still stuck around.

spanxalots, mans.

good grief

2005-10-21T20:49:00.000+08:00

i seriously think my mother is taking this "overprotective paranoid blahblah" parental thing a bit too far.

y'see, my younger brother just entered national service this month, and is currently serving out his ~~prison sentence~~ bmt in pulau tekong.

today, was supposed to be his very first book out from camp, which was supposed to be at 7.30pm. so after allowing for time taken for him to eat dinner with his mates, he should have been home by now.

so, the story goes that i popped out to the doctor for half an hour, and when i come home, my mother is wailing and complaining and moaning that "your brother cannot come out!! someone stole something! theft! cannot come out!"

good lord.

i thought the entire ceiling of our flat had caved in or something.

"ok. so he got confined. that's natural. no big deal what." was what i said.

BIG mistake.

"what no big deal!!! i called his OC or CO or whatever, and he said he will let them out by 10pm latest. he's arranging transport now."

GOOD GRIEF!

1) so he's still coming out, right? just a bit later than supposed only, what..

2) i always thought it was a common occurence in national service to get confined or kena guard duty or something as a form of punishment or duty blahblah. screw up in training, bye bye weekend book out! i don't see what's the big fuss.

3) she called his CO?! wtf?!

imagine the conversation : "mr. so and so, you better let my son come home NOW! i don't care about national service or rules or whatever! let him out NOW!"

good grief.

i just hope the CO doesn't go spread the news that my mother called and demand that my brother be allowed home. i know boys, and boys can be cruel when it comes to things like that. all that "mommy's boy" crap and shite. i hope my brother doesn;t end up getting bullied cos of this. (we all know its entirely possible, especially when it comes to boys and their macho egos. pfft.)

4) my brother was honestly quite happy about going to the army. he didn;t kick up a big fuss (well, at least he didn't moan about it to his family.) and he even wants to be an officer and a pilot and sign on and all that.

5) my brother is going to be freaking 21 in december. he's an ADULT. not a bloody 3 year old in nursery.

GOOD GRIEF.

my mother is being exasperating.

i can understand her anxiousness and all, but she's being a tad too melodramatic lah. madness.

come on lah. my brother isn't even a mama's boy to begin with. he's independent. he knows what he's doing (i hope!) he knows how to take care of himself. besides, he's got friends in tekong already.

he even stays out later than me!!

i just don't understand the BIIIIIIIIG fuss.

pfft. mothers. pfft.

you know something?

2005-10-19T00:03:00.000+08:00

i need a new mp3 player.

1GB is just not enough anymore.

argh!

dammit.

yes, i am greedy. big freaking deal. so's everyone else and their pet dog.

so many songs, so little bloody goddamned space.

i would swipe my sister's IPOD MINI, but then i don't like apple. especially seeing as how my sister's IPOD MINI went koyak after less than 2 weeks of use and had to be sent for repairs.

i refuse to succumb to the apples!

support home grown technology, that's what i'll do.

yes. i am a patriotic citizen! who loves her country! who supports local!

fine.

you can stop laughing now.

but i really really do ~~need~~ desperately want a new mp3 player with more space. preferably creative. if possible, the zen neeon.

my birthday's next month.

christmas is in 2 months.

geddit?!

no, of course i'm not hinting at anything. just making a simple matter-of-fact statement.

*snigger*

i'm just a teenage dirtbag, baaaybeee!

2005-09-28T15:20:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

today i went to buy cigarettes.

and.

they checked my ic.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

i am so amused.

i actually burst out laughing in the store, right in front of the lady's face, when she asked me for my ic.

and she had this really suspicious look on her face when she peered at me - the way a policeman would survey a convict. up and down, up and down. frown, frown, frown.

to give her credit, she was just doing her job. and i salute her for not looking shocked when she looked at my ic, and realised that i was TWENTY FREAKING FIVE years old, instead of some young 16 or 17 year old punk.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

oh yes. i am so verily terribly hugely amused.

oh wow.

i look young!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

*grin*

==========

in other news.

thanks to those that have been concerned over the past weeks.

yes, i've been goin through a particularly rough patch, but i'm pulling through. i think.

i guess there will always be rough patches in life. and i will always be falling flat on my face in the stinking mud (seeing as how i am such a klutz.)

but i'll just have to continue dragging myself out and onwards.

at the end of that pain in the freaking arse shitty mud filled rough patched road, is an air conditioned haven of never ending booze, cigarettes, good food, money, and love.

and by god, i am getting there, one way or other! even if i have to crawl in the doors hanging on by a silk thread of life. dammit.

i'll be ok. i always am.

thanks again for all the concern, guys. :)

for now, though, i'm battling a fever. which may be dengue. bummer.

DOWN WITH MOZZIES! bah.

==========

oh, yes..

SID - i'll do the meme soon. fever's fried my brain cells and i need to generate new ones. brain no work so good right now. heh. ;)

i want my CHEESEBURGERS!!

2005-09-23T03:20:00.000+08:00

"can i have your order, ma'am?"

"yes, can i get 2 filet-o fish, 2 large fries and 2 cheeseburgers please."

"er... no beef."

"huh?"

"there's no beef after 3am."

"WHAT?!"

"no beef."

"...... fine. then make that 3 filets and 2 large fries."

"ok. 3 filets and 2 large fries. delivery within an hour. thank you for calling. enjoy your meal."

"thanks. bye."

NO BEEF! NO BEEF! after 3am.

repeat after me - WTF?!

whats the point of 24 hour delivery if i can't get no cheeseburgers at 3am?! rubbish!

i don't know if i should be amused or irritated.

hmph.

2005-09-20T22:56:00.000+08:00

the world is a disgusting, crappy, shitty, fucked up, screwed up, horrible place.

human beings are disgusting, crappy, shitty, fucked up, screwed up, horrible creatures.

i don't like it very much anymore.

i wish i had amnesia.

i wish i could wake up and be blissfully ignorant of everything.

i don't want to be here right now.

but i am.

and i really don't want to be.

genetic disorder of the brain

2005-09-19T16:43:00.000+08:00

the following is an email i received from my mother.

we were planning a family outing to Sizzler for my dad's birthday lunch, where i was supposed to bear the cost for myself and my dad, and my mum would bear the rest.

i had asked her to handle the reservations and let me know the plan.

Dear Bunny,

I haf researched Sizzling's! Und here is de plan for feeding daddy - he cn haf the most expensive $9.99 pork chop main meal (acuarry for kids lah). Anyway you say he cant eat much, izznit?

As for us, orinerry pipple, whoever eat main meal cannot order salad, and Vice versa. or else I pok lah.

So remember, you paying for Dear Ol' Dad and Yerself. (if u like u can oso order kids meal). We save on drinks by smuggling our own wine in, ok? We all drink wine, sammy can haf der bottle (underage).

Err- waddabout cake? u n sammy wann to bake one banananana cake? ask anty to help

i am flabbergasted.

both by my mother's horrendous "engrish" abilities and use of "teeny shortforms" (oso?! haf?! der?! WTF!), as well as her deviousness when it comes to "saving" money.

well, now you all know where i get it from.

insanity and lunacy are genetic. confirmed.

NOTE: yes, most of my mother's horrendous english is done on purpose. which makes it even more insane, when you think about it.

the shortforms, however, i am sad to say, is REALLY how she normally types. sigh.

2005-09-16T14:05:00.000+08:00

BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS - GREENDAY

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Til then I walk alone

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the borderline of the edge
And where I walk alone
Read between the lines of what's
Fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Til then I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a

I walk this empty street
On the boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Til then I walk alone

2005-09-13T20:30:00.000+08:00

i hate you.

i hate you even more because you made me hate you.

phua chu kang lost his boots

2005-09-13T16:24:00.000+08:00

and i stole them and painted them baby blue.

i am RETARDED.

this is why you should always bring me shopping with you - so that i can provide free entertainment.

other events that occurred included me not knowing how to put on dresses properly. which resulted in me getting semi-stuck in one dress. and also resulting in 2 female friends having to "assist" me with getting another dress on.

all this, and more retarded acts, took place on the open shop floor, and not in fitting rooms. in front of other people.

i am such a DORK.

but its so fun! ;)

out of order eyes

2005-09-12T21:20:00.000+08:00

my mother is convinced that my headaches are a result of my eyes. she claims my eyesight is deteriorating from too much straining and reading in bad not-bright-enough light.

and she is insisting on dragging me to an eye doctor to get my eyes checked.

which means i may have to get specs. or contacts.

GDMFSOB.

i tried telling her that i have perfect eyesight (which even i don't believe. my eyesight, like almost everything else on my body, is wonky.) but she isn't falling for it.

then i tried to tell her that i can't wear specs, cos having something sitting on the bridge of my nose for too long gives me a headache too. (weird? not really. i get headaches from wearing hairbands too.) but she insists thats rubbish.

then i told her that i can't wear contacts either cos my eyes get really dry and sensitive and they water easily (which is the absolute truth.) but she's not listening.

shit.

i look like a dork in glasses. and i will slap you if you even so much as bring up any kinky teacher/librarian/whatever porno references.

i'm gonna chain myself to my steel-framed huge-ass double decker bed so she can't drag my ass to no freaking eye doctor.

*grumble*

stupid head...

2005-09-11T22:28:00.000+08:00

migraine.

for the past... 55 freaking bloody goddamned shitty pissed-on disgusting horrendously pathetically extremely painful hours.

continuous pain. constant stomach churning. perpetual feel-like-puking.

why did i have to get the migraine that affects the stomach. whywhywhy.

excruciating please-shoot-me-now-oh-my-god-i-want-to-jump-out-the-window-and-kill-myself-NOW pain.

55 hours. and counting.

head going to explode. implode. detonate. kaboom. brain ejects from head. SPLAT.

wake up - head pain.
go to sleep - head pain.
sit up - head pain.
lie down - head pain.
walk around - head pain.

GDMFSOB.

ADD SALT TO WOUND #1 : still must work THROUGHOUT ENTIRE WEEKEND even though head pain until want to stab myself in the eye with a plastic fork - data entry SUCKS ASS.

ADD SALT TO WOUND #2 : no partying THE ENTIRE WEEKEND. at all. never even step out of the goddamned bloody house.

(although, it must be said that DOOFUS was also against the idea of me venturing out this weekend. in his words of wisdom -

"STAY AT HOME, AH. DON'T GO OUT, OK. SINGAPORE NOWADAYS, VERY MESSY. ALL THESE MURDERS.. STAY AT HOME TODAY. BE A GOOD GIRL. DON'T GO OUT."

and i'm supposed to be the paranoid one.)

ADD SALT TO WOUND #3 : mother nagging me about getting married. again. for the dunno how many million-th bloody time.

F.U.C.K.

2005-09-04T20:56:00.000+08:00

ha! i just couldn't help bursting out in laughter when i first saw this comic. this is such a typical scenario when it comes to DOOFUS and me.

men. pfft. women. pfft. humans. pfft.

i am going cross eyed and i have a bitch of a headache.

spending my entire weekend working is worse than having all the hair on my body tweezed out, strand by strand. excruciatingly painful. ugh.

spending an average of 12 hours a day in front of a computer screen, squinting at miniature words from directories, and pounding data into an excel file is NOT BLOODY GODDAMNED FREAKING FUN. not at all.

i hate. oh, how i hate.

miserable existence. utterly depressing.

to make matters worse, TWO different groups of my friends went out to O BAR for their requisite dose of weekly (daily, for some.) debauchery and alcohol-watering and nicotine-fumigation.

what kind of rubbish is this! the one night i cannot join them, they go and have such immense fun.

insufferable.

bummer me left right center upside down.

i'm going to wallow in self pity now.

leave me be.

goodbye, cruel world!

bah.

boy-friends

2005-08-31T16:10:00.000+08:00

its nice to know that there are people who always got my back covered. and its a nice feeling, although slightly disconcerting, having personal bodyguards to ensure my "protection" against the "wolves" ever present in our local nightlife.

boyfriends come and go, but my boy-friends will always be there.

hell, yeah.

and how i love them for it.

the cousins foursome

drunkards anonymous

** O BAR PHOTOS **

my newest pet

2005-08-26T13:31:00.000+08:00

meet the newest addition to my humungous stable of furry lil animals!

his name is SMOOSH, and he's a beanie lion.
i love beanies! soft toys should all come with beans in their asses. it makes them so much nicer to play with, doncha think? not like those all-stuffing-and-no-beans wussy toys. the worst are those that don't even have proper "fur" coats. its just plain silly, methinks.

ANYWAY.

my precious lil SMOOSH is a present from DOOFUS. we were out one night, trying to get mayonnaise to make egg mayo sandwiches, but try as we might, we just couldn't find any mayo! we tried petrol stations, 7-11s, and cheers - NO MAYO.

goddamn it all! why is mayo so bloody hard to find?! the only thing harder to find than mayo, is ribena syrup in bottles. what is up with that?! utter stupidity.

so DOOFUS popped into cheers, and couldn't find mayo, but found SMOOSH instead. the silliest part was he tried to hide it from me by sticking it in his shirt, but i saw him. oops.

but being the wonderful person i am, of course i kept my mouth shut and pretended to know nothing, and i acted all suprised when DOOFUS finally produced SMOOSH. heh.

DOOFUS is such a sweetheart. a sweetheart that pisses me off a helluva lot, but still a sweetheart.

i have also learnt an important lesson from this episode - NEVER LET DOOFUS PICK NAMES!

he's terrible! SMOOSH got his name because DOOFUS was "smooshing" (akin to spreading) tuna on bread to make sandwiches at the time of name picking. and then the next morning, DOOFUS complains that SMOOSH is too cutesy a name, and wants to rename my lil lion. ack.

sigh. DOOFUS is a doofus.

but i think we'll just stick with SMOOSH, eh? horrified as i was originally, i must say the name kinda grows on you after awhile. after all, it IS a cute name, and its way more original than "teddy" or "fido" or "lion" or whatever.

SMOOSH is such a cute lil thing, isn't he? awwwwwwww..

tralalalalalalaaa

2005-08-23T22:06:00.000+08:00

last week, my thighs hurt. this week, my lower back hurts. wtf. and i have a major ass sore throat/cough/flu. bummer me.

i think all this clubbing is starting to get to me in my "old age". ack.

my usually sedate, chill-at-coffeeshop, non-clubbing friends have suddenly morphed into a bunch of clubbing crazy, alcohol guzzling, female lusting fiends.

how scary. what is this world coming to?! must be something weird and strange in the air around singapore these days.

i cannot decide if i should be amused at their crazy antics, or be appalled at their, er, "crazy" antics. heh.

ah well, at least we can all finally go dancing and drinking together, instead of bumming our nights away at our friendly neighbourhood coffeeshop.

i wonder how long this "clubbing fanatical" phase will last. hmm.

we hit CAFE IGUANA at riverside point for mexican food and margaritas. the bill came up to a staggering $250 for 12 peoples. considering that some of us didn't eat, and some didn't indulge in alcohol, it was kinda expensive, especially for a cheapass like me. thank god for good old mcdonalds and cheap fast food. heh. but there was SO MUCH FOOD! goodness.

across the river we proceeded, to CRAZY ELEPHANT for beer and the band.

wayne's new love interest

i popped over to MOX at tanjong pagar to catch eugene stroll the catwalk for his fashion show. well, at least the intention was to watch. eventually, ended up catching only the very last "stroll" - the underwear portion. oops.

free jug of vodka redbull procurred for me by eugene was killer strong. i nearly fainted when i took my first sip. phwoar. but i like. heh.

i don't particularly like MOX. the place itself is really nice. great decor, great atmosphere. but the PEOPLE. another story. y'see, MOX is a kinda "alternative lifestyle" joint, if you get my drift.

i have nothing against "alternatives". on the contrary. i think they're pretty much great people.

i just feel damn uncomfortable (and a lil bit pissed off) that i was surrounded by absolutely gorgeous male specimens, but they were all UNTOUCHABLE and UNATTAINABLE! argh! utterly devastating, i tell you. so sad. sigh.

dancing at LIQUIDROOM thereafter left me extremely hot and sticky. and so many people! ack. pushpushshoveshove. bumpbumpgrindgrind. twisttwistwigglewiggle. hothothot!

spastic-ism rules!

tsk. such a "player", this boy. tsk.

and the hullaballoo after clubbing is always such a pain. everyone sits around, talking, waiting, trying to make further plans, cannot decide, getting cranky, frustration, tiredness. ugh. i just don't get why people can't simply decide "what next" and then just get up and go. and just get a phone number if you wanna talk somemore lah! sheesh. drunken people. pfft.

when all else fails and you have nothing to do, take peekture!

HAHAHAHAHA!
wasted trip to INDOCHINE at wisma (bah) which led to supper at NEWTON, and i finally got to sleep at 7+ in the morning after spending some time with the DOOFUS.

bloody hell. i need to regulate my damn sleeping hours. ugh.

** le PHOTO de ALBUM **

saturday the 13th

2005-08-16T23:05:00.000+08:00

fuck. its been 3 days and my thighs still hurt like a bitch. i can't even sit down without feeling the strain.

on the bright side, i think i've developed quite powerful leg muscles. really. i can feel it.

vigorous dancing to hiphop and being on your feet for 4 hours straight is a killer.

damn. i think this may be a sign that i really am getting abit too old for all this clubbing and dancing and general debauchery shite.

woe is me and my aching, creaky, fragile old bones!

whoever says that i do not exercise is obviously deluded and completely wrong, for once - i DO exercise. i DANCE. and lemme tell all youse punks out there, that the question of whether a more strenuous activity than dancing exists in this world.. well, the answer, according to my superior expertise, is HELL NO.

so for all of youse that wanna drop the pounds, go crash some club and wiggle your butt like a lunatic having fits. the harder you jerk about and gyrate, the more calories you burn. oh, and another word of caution, go slow on the beer, fools. it ruins the effort you put into dancing.

stick to the hard liquor. forgo the devil-in-disguise mixers if you can help it, too. do you have any idea how many calories there are in coke/sprite/ribena/etc?! the best solution? just grab shots of tequila/vodka/sambuca/etc. less calories, and so much more efficient in attaining drunken-ness. geddit?

2 THUMB'S PARTY @ HARD ROCK

11 of us went for this by-invitation-only shindig - free entry, free food, free booze! awesome! pity about the music though. it was a little too slow and too relaxed. ah well.

for a party organised by a tattoo joint, the invites were definitely amusing. looks more like invites to a kid's birthday party, don't it? and they used the DISNEY font. how shocking..

pigging out - the food was good, seeing as it was supplied by hard rock. it was the first time i've seen entire burgers set out in a tray, buffet style. hmm.

we got free tshirts too. how cool is that?! super limited edition and in limited stock. late comers didn't get any though, since they ran out. lesson learnt? always be early to grab the goodie bags. its good shit! heh.

popped down to o bar for awhile, cos the music at hard rock was making me mega sleepy. got happily high, then joined the rest at cocolatte to dance the night away.

the only photo i look reasonably presentable in. the rest all look like shit. bah. sweaty, dishevelled people do not make good photography subjects. *grumble*

*** THE REST OF THE PHOTOS ***

little drummer boy genius

if any of you happen to pass by paragon on weekends and spot this adorable little musician playing, do stop and listen.

he's FANTABULOUS to the max! and he's soooooo CUTE!

his name is ethan, and he's only 6 years old, but he bangs those drums like a pro, i swear. he's been playing drums since the age of 2! good lord. what a little genius..

the QUEEN of C.A.D.aospF

2005-08-11T18:38:00.000+08:00

well, i'm finally back.

have been too tired and too lazy and too brain-dead and too busy to post recently.

ah well.

i got my first payment for that data entry slavery i've been helping my mum with.

its CRAP.

$190+ for 1282 names.

do you have ANY idea how tedious it is to type 1282 entries?! its exhausting. its time consuming. its absolutely crap shite.

and at the end of it all, i just wanna chuck my entire computer out the window. i don't even wanna look at the damn monitor anymore. so you can see why i haven't exactly been in the mood to blog. ugh.

still, money is money. i suppose. whatever.

at least the thought of the amount of alcohol and cigarettes i can stuff myself with using this cash cheers me up some. heh.

i have miraculously evolved into a HUMAN SLEEP MACHINE.

yes, i have achieved incredible heights of mutation.

i blame the radiation from the damn computer. all that time spent pounding away at the bloody keyboard, staring into the idiot monitor.. BAH.

*****

i managed to ~~escape from my evil, wicked slave driver mother and the slavery of data entry~~ get out of the house for a bit of long overdue rest and relaxation on national day eve.

ended up club hopping the night away, and i now present you with my EXPERT OPINION - in my capacity as the QUEEN of clubbing and alcohol-ism and debauchery and all other senseless pursuits of fun - on the places i honoured with my graceful presence this wondrous monday night, with a couple of my faithful ~~fawning, completely-in-awe-of-me subjects~~ friends.

CLUB MOMO

i detest momo. it sucks majorly big fat arse. the music sucks. the crowd sucks. the atmosphere sucks.

i will stab myself in the heart with a plastic fork, rather than step foot in that horrendous place, ever again.

just the mere mention of "club momo" is enough to get me frothing at the mouth and turn into a savage, psychotic lunatic.

yes, it is THAT bad.

but hey, you know what, if you choose not to believe me - the QUEEN of clubbing and alcohol-ism and debauchery and all other senseless pursuits of fun - you can jolly well go and find out for yourself.

you might like it. to each his own, after all.

but if you DO end up liking momo, please, do yourself a favour and throw yourself off the nearest building, thanks.

or i may end up stabbing you in the eyes with my trusty plastic fork, for having the brainless audacity and utter stupidity to disagree with me.

my word is LAW. after all, i am THE QUEEN of clubbing and alcohol-ism and debauchery and all other senseless pursuits of fun.

LIQUIDROOM

ah, my homeground. sweet, sweet liquidroom. such a wondrous, enchanting, awesome-to-the-power-of-infinity place to behold.

i like liquidroom.

it is small, cosy, and just generally all-round kick ass.

i detest big clubs.

liquid plays good music. liquid has powerful fancy lighting. liquid has a comfortable, cosy atmosphere. liquid has a friendly crowd. liquid has a dance floor for those that wanna boogey in the limelight. liquid has corners for those that prefer to imbibe alcohol and watch the action from the sidelines.

liquidroom is also one of the best places to pick up members of the opposite sex. seriously. trust me on this. i speak from many experiences - my personal brushes and those of my companions.

oh, and also, i have the liquidroom ladies card. HA!

some people find liquid too small, or too noisy, or too whatever.

i say, its precisely because of its relative tiny-ness, as compared to bigger dance clubs, that gives liquidroom that extra edge.

i love the cosiness of it all. it rocks my ding dongs. heh. besides, liquidroom is one of the few clubs that play decent trance music.

those of you that don't agree with me, once again, i must warn you that my plastic fork has been skillfuly sharpened. i am also quite adept in shoving my plastic fork into various body parts.

that said, liquid on monday night wasn't the normal fantabulous scene, especially not for a SLINKY gig. music was abit off, though still good, and still loads much better than some of the crap they spin at other places.

COCOLATTE

another small, cosy place that quite appeals to me.

a word of caution though - do NOT attempt the second floor, which is the dance floor area, if you are claustrophobic.

in fact, do NOT even think of venturing upstairs if you have crowd-o-phobia, people-o-phobia, heat-o-phobia, jampackedalltogether-o-phobia.

it was madness. so many people, all squashed together in some a tiny area. and we were all dripping with perspiration after barely 15min of dancing. stifling heat.

but good fun. pretty alright crowd. good music, especially if you're into grinding to r&b and hiphop and the like.

oh, another word of caution - do NOT even ENTERTAIN the thought of heading to cocolatte, especially on a weekend night, if you have an aversion to young teenage kids.

the place was swarming with them. itty bitty lil things, running around, getting drunk, bobbing up and down..

yes. the QUEEN of clubbing and alcohol-ism and debauchery and all other senseless pursuits of fun has spoken.

and now, back to my life of slavery.

ah, the perils of doing battle with those blasted data entry excel files. i am off to wage war, once again!

toodles!

quickies

2005-08-01T20:11:00.000+08:00

DOOFUS finally admitted that he doesn't really like me going out clubbing without him.

HA! i knew it! i'm such an intuitive genius, i am. *smirk*

*****

it seems like everytime i see josh, he tells me i smell nice.

"hey, what shampoo do you use?"
"i dunno. something that's in my bathroom. why?"
"it smells nice!" *josh displays 2 thumbs up*

"hey, what perfume are you wearing?"
"erm.. gucci.. envy.."
"it smells nice!" *josh displays 2 thumbs up*

josh, josh, josh. you're such a silly boy. and what amazing sense of smell you have! all the better to smell me with? muahaha ;)

*****

i've been so busy lately helping my mum with all the data entry shite.

i've burnt 2 weekends and countless weekday nights already. precious time that i could have spent clubbing, drinking, smoking, bumming, watching tv, watching dvds, reading, sleeping, talking cock, blogging, surfing the net, ~~engaging in horizontal exercises~~ exercising..

and then when i'm done for the day, i'm so freaking brain dead and zoned out and tired and moody and cranky, that i don't feel like doing anything else except vegetate and sleep.

UGH. gimme my life back!
i enjoy spacing out in front of my computer, don't get me wrong. i just detest having to WORK in front of a computer.

and the pay is freaking one-kinda bloody miserable - 15 cents for each entry. rubbish!

even peanuts are worth more. *grumble*

ah well. i shall cease my complaining. as some would say - its better than nothing! yeah yeah yeah. whatever. pfft.

feel.. like.. s-h-i-t-e

2005-07-28T15:36:00.000+08:00

adrian / faith / gerald / KM :

i'm sorry for the delay in getting the photos to you guys.

i actually created a ZIP file of the full set of photos last night, but the damn file is still so freaking huge that my gmail keeps timing out when i tried to email it. gah!

i'll get it done tonight, once i get home from work and manage to break down the file into smaller portions.

alternatively, the full set of pics is online - in my yahoo photo album (link's in the sidebar) so you can go check it out there first.

*****

i am so goddamned tired and zoned out that i :

a) poked myself in the eye while trying to scratch the bridge of my nose

b) banged my toes against the wall while trying to slip on my sandals

c) almost fell off the chair when i tried to sit down, missed the seat and the chair went spiralling across the office

d) went to the toilet to sneak a cigarette and actually fell asleep while smoking

e) cursed loudly at the photocopy machine because i thought it was screwing up when i tried to make copies of documents and i kept getting blank printouts - when the real problem was that i had forgotten to actually insert the documents in the first place

and to make things worse, when i get home tonight after work, i still have to slog away doing some data entry for my mother.

i badly need sleep. i'm seriously surving on cigarettes and coca-cola.

coffee is no good. once the coffee-high wears off, i feel even more tired than before.

i'm going to bang myself against the wall and hope i faint so that i can get sent home which will allow me to get a bit of sleep before my slave driver mother comes home from work and starts cracking her whip at me in demand that i complete the data entry.

god, please let me survive today..

birthday party madness

2005-07-27T18:59:00.000+08:00

last night, a bunch of us - donaq / adrian , keng meng , fayeth / faith , suspicious bastard / chew , me - went down to lollipop at outram to celebrate injenue / gerald's birthday, together with a bunch of his friends and icebreeze / joel.

only one word can describe the scene : RIOT

one would have thought that we were at a disco or something, instead of a little private room with about 20 or so people - the noise was deafening!

it was a huge bundle of fun, and many laughs - especially at the antics of the drunken birthday boy.

i'm abit lazy due to lack of sleep (see lah! party until so late last night lah!), and i'm hungry, and my chinese-fishball-factory-drama is starting soon, so i shall just let the pictures speak for themselves. heh.

WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER GET DRUNK ON YOUR BIRTHDAY WHEN THERE IS A CAMERA IN THE AREA TO CAPTURE INCRIMINATING EVIDENCE

7 deadly shots (including 1 tabasco sauce) with 25 seconds (25th birthday mah) that effectively killed the birthday boy by 11pm

SECTION 1 : WHAT REALLY GOES ON IN A KTV

women also want, men also want.. jialat..
when drunk, gender obviously doesn't matter so much anymore.
SECTION 2 : DANCING ~~QUEEN~~ KING

yes, that is a bartop. yes, that is the very gay-bait el supremo of LEWD, adrian.

SECTION 3 : GOD(S) OF SONGS & BURST EARDRUMS

now i know why some people say karaoke is one of singaporean's favourite activities. and i know why singaporeans all slowly going deaf. muahaha!

joking lah. the singing was quite alright. no glass/windows/spectacles broke (except for the ones gerald "dropped" on the floor. heh.)

SECTION 4 : 2 IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN 1

why hug just 1, when you can "zhuo you yong bao" - left right hug?

if the men can do it, so can women. heh.

SECTION 5 : ALWAYS TAKE AT LEAST SOME PROPER PHOTOS

chew & gerald ; me & gerald joel & gerald ; faith & gerald gerald & keng meng ; me & adrian faith & me ; adrian & gerald gerald & faith (awwwww.... haha!)

SECTION 6 : ALWAYS HAVE THE CAMERA READY FOR UNEXPECTED SHOTS

check out the look on gerald's face, when his friend suddenly leapt onto his back. i feel his pain. heh.

notice joel's happiness at his brother's brief agony. muahahaha!

SECTION 7 : BEER IS GOOD

YAAAAAAAAAAM SEEEEEEENG!

adrian likes his alcohol. even though it makes him look like a close relative of the lobsters and crabs. heh.

SECTION 8 : BONUS!!

MUSIC VIDEO SINGAPORE STYLE
starring : the fabulous, most powerful actor - gerald!

warning - its a large file (about 37MB) so be patient!

drips and drabs

2005-07-26T20:21:00.000+08:00

i have a few posts currenting rotting in my drafts folder, waiting for me to edit them and post them up to bask in the glory of cyberspace.

but.

i am too lazy. blame the weather. all i feel like doing is bumming in bed and watching tv and reading blogs and just generally, being a SLACKER PRO.

for today, amuse yourselves with these.

*****

i came across this name the other day :

BOH PANG JEK

forgive me for being so amused, but it just sounds like "not punctured" in hokkien. heh.

*****

eileen david, Your ideal job is a Church Minister.

eileen, Your ideal job is a Pole Dancer.

JOB PREDICTOR

what a difference! and church minister?! boy oh boy have they got their facts WRONG! bwahahaha!

*****

FACE ANALYZER

HAHAHAHAHA! i'm EURPOEAN! and middle eastern?! and my celeb match is COCO LEE?! *rolls on the floor with laughter*

well, at least they got the intelligence part correct. heh. *smirk*

*****

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

GET TO KNOW YOURSELF BETTER

2005-07-26T18:13:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, INJENUE!

sorry ah, this year got no lesbian porn to show you for your birthday.

next time, ok?

bwahahaha!

shoe meme

2005-07-25T17:58:00.000+08:00

i got tagged by jaywalk to do the newest meme thats floating around cyberspace.

because i'm bored, and because doing this meme gives me a reason to get off my lazy fat arse and pack my shoes, and because jaywalk bribed me (haha!) - i present THE SHOE MEME!

Total Number of Shoes you own:

1 - slippers - in office
2 - slippers - outside house
1 - slippers - DOOFUS place

12 - flat slippers/sandals
6 - sandals with slight heels
9 - heels/wedges
1 - sneakers

====
32 pairs

holy crap! i never knew i had that many shoes! and to think, i just threw out about another 20 pairs recently. madness!

and yes, as you can see, i don't like covered shoes (or as my mother calls them - proper shoes) my toes need to BREATHE! heh.

The last shoe you bought:

a black pair of wedges/heels from some no-name shop in KL last year.

just for fun - my toes with cool hot pink nail polish!

i know i have weird looking feet/toes. just shut up already, ok? *grumble*

How many shoes do you have underneath your work desk:

1 pair of blue FAKE coca-cola slippers

that i've never worn, because my office cannot wear shoe inside.
and the floor is not carpeted somemore! damn bloody cold. rubbish. bah.

you see! the slippers still got the tag, ok..

Five people to whom I'm passing this baton:

EVERYONE THAT READS THIS POST! ha! easy way out. no need to name people. heh. no lah. whoever wants to do, go ahead. no obligations!

musings

2005-07-23T21:10:00.000+08:00

last night was a time of stunning revelations, shocks, heartfelt chats, reminiscing, advice dishing, philosophical waxings, and apologies.

i am smart. i make sense. i want to be a psychiatrist.

i revealed a secret to a certain someone.
a secret that i have kept from that certain someone for the past 1.5 years.
a secret i swore never to tell that certain someone.

sure, its a common secret - a few of my close friends know of it.

but the main person involved has had absolutely no idea all this while.

why did i keep this secret for so long? and why did i hide it from the one person that - as some would put it - had the most right and reason to know?

because of a lot of factors.

the situation at the time.
the circumstances.
the possible consequences.

i didn't want any awkwardness.
i didn't want any guiltiness.
i didn't want any sour feelings.
i didn't want any sadness.

i didn't want things to happen for the wrong reasons.

and then, as time went on, i just didn't see the need to reveal my secret anymore.

it doesn't matter, it didn't matter - not anymore. it really doesn't.

perhaps this is my closure, finally. after such a long journey. a journey that perhaps, had never really ended. not until now.

i guess you could say we've come full circle. the years have past, things have changed.

you will always be special to me, and i will always have a soft spot for you.

thank you for all the memories, and thank you for sticking around.

*****

lately, DOOFUS has been complaining that i've been moody/cranky/always showing him black him/always giving him one kind of fucked up attitude..

i don't know why. i don't know what's wrong with me.

i know that i DO miss him, and he does make me happy - happier than i've been in a long time - even though he majorly pisses me off sometimes.

extreme mood swings - i can be so happy one minute, but the next i'm the freaking bitch from hell with a huge durian up my ass.

i'm always trying to pick fights with him.
i'm always acting all mopey and sad and depressed around him.
i always steer the conversation topics to issues that will piss him off, just so i can get a reaction from him.

and even though he always tries to cheer me up,
even though he always tries to put up with me,
even though he always makes the first move to make up,
even though he always tries to give in to me,
even though he always tries to pacify me,

i still insist on remaining a stubborn bitch and unwilling to give in - even though every braincell and every fibre in my body and every feeling in my heart and every instinct in my gut is screaming at me to JUST LET IT GO and to STOP ACTING LIKE A FREAKING SPOILT BRAT.

i know that its starting to put a strain on things, and i realise that he's gonna run out of patience sooner or later.

but i just keep doing it.

i don't know.

i've been under a lot of stress lately, and a lot of stuff have been an enormous strain on me, personally and individually. all these problems are starting to erode the happiness in me. its slowly robbing me of joyfulness. its eating away, bit by bit, at my soul.

i don't know if i'm strong enough to withstand the pressure.

as it is, all this stress is making me go completely wonky. which is probably why i've been taking it out on DOOFUS.

what was that they always say - that you always end up hurting the people you love the most?

something like that. something about how "the people you are closest to always bear the brunt of your shite".

am i making excuses for my behaviour?

i have no idea, honestly. maybe i am, maybe i'm not. but it is the honest to god truth that i HAVE been under enormous stress lately, and all the problems just keep popping up and piling up.

i'm running out of room to breathe.

a friend remarked that i'm "happy insane". well, if this carries on for much longer, i'm just gonna be plain "insane insane". no more happy.

what the hell is wrong with me?!

maybe i've just been so unhappy in the past, that i don't know how to be happy anymore.

its like, i feel more... comfortable? when there's drama in my life..

i am so weird.

crap. well, now you know why my blog url is "sadomasochisticme" - because i like to inflict pain on myself, and others (specifically, the people that i love. but its not intentional, i swear!)

maybe i'm really going through depression again.
maybe its the weather.
maybe its my slightly irritating mild flu.
maybe i just think too much.
maybe i have serious issues.
maybe i should see a shrink.
maybe i just need to go out and get pissed drunk.
maybe its just PMS.

but you know what? i deserve to be happy.

so i'm gonna make a conscious effort.

stop acting like a moody, cranky bitch.
stop acting like a spoilt brat.

start appreciating the little blessings that i have in my life.

i'll try my best to be good. i promise.

if not for myself, then at least for you.

you, who has been so patient and so forgiving.
you, who has been my bright spark in the darkness.
you, who deserves to be happy too.

i am a criminal - arrest me!

2005-07-21T21:01:00.000+08:00

this one was very kindly made for me by minority man, in reference to my recent very-evil-crime.

thanks again, minority man!

and then, i was bored and decided to make some for myself.

yes, i am so full of myself. but i speak the truth!

eh, if no one is gonna stroke my ego, i damn well am gonna do it myself! bwahaha!

and this one accurately portrays me, and everything i stand for.

i am mad. i am cuckoo. i am insane. but i have fun. so sue me. pfft.

this is so fun! heh.

now all of youse better go try it yourself, and show me what you create.

FASTER GO AND DO IT NOW!

WANTED POSTER GENERATOR

via lancerlord and evan.

cyber terrorism?

2005-07-21T18:09:00.000+08:00

i found out today that xiaxue and anna's blogs got hacked into. the word is that all xiaxue's blogs and entries were erased, and her gmail account also got hacked, and all her emails erased.

as far as i know, anna's blog is back up now, although it was offline for awhile. and earlier today, when i first surfed over, there was a "message" from the hacker, in the form of a blog post.

not liking someone is one thing.
not agreeing with someone is one thing.

being outright malicious is another completely different issue altogether.

no matter what it is - whatever you may think he or she deserves - doing something like this is just going too far.

its just wrong.

imagine if someone did the same thing to you. erased all your memories. deleted important information you kept in your email account. burnt your diary. eradicated all the effort you put into something over a span of years.

cannot fathom how it feels like?

ok. then how about - the feeling you get when your computer crashes and your hard drive is erased?

did i hear vulgarities and cursing and swearing and death threats and frustration and anger and sadness? do i spot a few tears at the loss of precious files and data?

yup. you got that right.

maybe hacking into blogs and emails and deleting everything isn't as bad as crashing your entire PC. but then again, its all subjective, isn't it?

one person may think that its no big deal. but for the people involved, it may be the biggest deal - because of what their blog and their emails contain. because of the time and effort they spent. because of the sheer helplessness of the situation.

ah well. i shall not go on any further. suffice to say, i feel their pain and i hope they manage to get back on their feet.

anyhow.

i was so freaked out that i went into a password changing frenzy.

even though i'm not even remotely high profile or famous - but be kiasu/kaisi abit, just in case (touch wood!)

logged into my blogger account, my msn account, my gmail account, my yahoo mail account, even my neopets account!

changed all the passwords.

now, i just hope i can remember the new password.

KNN.

having a brain like a sieve, in conjuction with selective memory, is such a pain in the arse.

i have good memory. its just selective. and it works best on retaining useless information. and it likes to go on self-declared holiday every once in awhile.

KNN. rubbish brain.

we painted the town in bright neon colours

2005-07-19T20:23:00.000+08:00

WARNING!

majorly enormous photo post alert!

my apologies, especially to those on slow connections.

*****

15th july 2005

friday night out on the town.

the day i maxed out my 128MB-130-photo-capacity memory card and overworked my poor slave of a digital camera.

---

special of the night

DOOFUS "hijacked" a red rose in full bloom for me, from a table bouquet at one of the roadside food stalls along clarke quay. i think the people at the stall were too stunned to protest when DOOFUS went up to them and said "don't mind, i take one ah!" and then just plucked a rose.

poor things. their table bouquet became lopsided and not balanced already, thanks to DOOFUS. but i'm not complainin - DOOFUS is a sweetie pie.

but the real question here! is what is a beautifully arranged table bouquet of red roses doing in the middle of a roadside food stall?!

*****

CRAZY ELEPHANT @ CLARKE QUAY

wayne enjoys getting things stuffed into his mouth by members of the male species.

"how big is yours? this big?"
"wait. i go and measure first."

le best friend / brother with le sister-in-law

haresh & his friend - who's secret desire is to be a toothpaste advertisement model.

jon in his starring role as "the happy squirrel"!

part of the band that plays at crazy elephant

the chinese dude is AWESOME SHITE! and the drummer's kinda cute (as my MALE best friend puts it, he's "cute.. look abit like simon yam".)

but me and sue were droolin over the guest drummer - some brazilian guy that looks like kaka the soccer player - cute and his hands move reeeaaal fast (fast is goooood! bwahahaha!)

food! - naan bread and chicken curry/dhal - cooked and supplied by the DOOFUS. t'was damn goooood. *slurp*

*****

i popped over to GOTHAM PENTHOUSE @ CLARKE QUAY to take advantage of their free-flow-vodka-for-ladies-till-1am. free booze! yay! heh.

ryan & luke - but of real importance in this photo is the alcohol on the table that is hidden behind them!

richie : the mexican dancing senorita-man - with special appearance by "eileen's rose"

luke & richie play it real cool

me & richie - with cameo appearance by "pop-up-luke" - and i look kinda retarded in this photo. bah.

the biscuits in the oreo cookies favourite pastime is disturbing the creamy filling stuck in between them

"aye carumba! you are so sexxxay. do you think i'm sexxxay too? hmm? do you like my rose? marry me, now!"
"dude! get away from me!"

me & ryan - with his trademark smile

richie & ryan are overjoyed at becoming joined-at-the-hip siamese twins

"eh, we got 2 bodies, we got 2 legs! yay!"

me & luke - with cameo appearance by "cheesy grin"

ryan gets in touch with his *cough*sensitive*cough* side while modelling the lastest handbag style

surrounded by the young boys

*****

back to CRAZY ELEPHANT @ CLARKE QUAY

brandon the best friend displays his vast array of "kawaii neh!" poses

the tale of : scotty & keshia & "eileen's rose" & a "reserved" sign

sue-lynn the sister-in-law & me & keshia break out the smilies

me & wayne - black and white mamas

me & shilton - in one of the rare photos where he's not makin a face at the camera

me & scotty boy strike a pose

ernest & friend get in the act too

one for the "best friends" album

trev & sue-lynn say "cheeeeeeese"

my favourite friends make a brief appearance - before disappearing down people's throats

the semi-group photo

boys and girls, its time to play : guess the mystery man!

scott smiles as wayne enjoys getting his ear licked by brandon - cameo appearance by "shilton's middle finger"

the best friends share the "lurve"

the brothers NG + the cousin NG + the other cousin + the 2 adopted NGs - i have no idea why both the brothers NG are opening their mouths so damn wide. hmm.

wayne contemplates running away to jamaica with the colourul headgear in tow

scott wants to bang the drums and rule the world - but first he must learn how to play those damn drums.

the group photo that features most of us that were at crazy elephant

ok. this just looks WRONG! and don't ask me what they're doing. i have absolutely no clue!

me, brandon & jon attempt to get in tough with our "hiphop-ness" but end up displaying "retarded-ness"

scott : "do you like my long, silky hair?"
wayne : "oooh! can i touch?"
vic : "dudes! gimme my hair back!"
shilton : "crazy kooks. haha!"

me & eugene - the little drummer boy

family portrait - brothers NG #1 + brothers NG #2 + cousin

me & keshia with our coordinated hair partings - one go left, one go right

me & the sister-in-law display our cheekbones

*****

of course, O BAR @ MOHD SULTAN has to come in somewhere..

i wonder why is sukh staring, so intrigued, in that direction

me & jem - i stole jem's lucky lighter and the very next day he ran into bad luck. oops! but you still ain't gettin it back, jem! ha!

the "let's block eileen out of this shot" sandwich

the poor waiterwas accosted and had to run away to avoid being kissed - also known as "alcohol makes you do crazy things"

remember "eileen's rose" from the earlier photos?

well, by the end of the night, this was all that remained of it.

kena overworked until it cannot take it anymore and literally falls apart. *sobsob*

*****

alcohol, good music, dancing, friends, and laughs make THE EILEEN happy.

maybe they didn't like the movie?

2005-07-18T15:25:00.000+08:00

"nowadays, dvd so power. got movies "ownself review ownself".

eh. but the review bluff people leh!

ya lah. the movie actually quite interesting, what. where got "most horrible"?! bluff me, bloody hell.."

you see lah! this is what you get when you're too cheapo to buy movie tickets and watch in the cinema.

tsk.

blog-con at DXO + trance at ONYX

2005-07-17T19:02:00.000+08:00

so i went to the BLOG CON yesterday. arrived at DXO at 6pm, in time to catch a lil bit of the belly dancing.

..... met a couple of people ..... went for dinner at marina square (where i was grossed out by the choice of dinner conversation - human meat, cannabalism - ugh!) ..... headed back to DXO for free flow drinks (which were not even remotely alcoholic - more like "ribena extra strong, extra sweet, vodka just a drop". but hey, its free! i shouldn't complain. but no beer?! no tequila?! wtf?!) ..... met more people ..... chit chat ..... talk cock ..... see fireworks (we had the BEST view in the house, man! awesome!) .....

overall, it was actually pretty fun. at least, it was better than what i expected.

TO ALL THOSE THAT I MET :

thanks so much for the good conversation, the laughs, and making me feel at ease! i'm sorry if i scared anyone by being very loud, crude, or whatever. but no choice lah. i'm a convent girl and i'm also damn "chor lor". bwahaha!

you're all such nice people. it was a pleasure to meet y'all. :)

*****

those that i met :

ADRIAN aka DONAQ ; GERALD aka INJENUE ; KENG MENG ; AIRHOLE ; CHEW aka SUSPICIOUS BASTARD ; SHEENA ; ZHIYANG aka S'PORE OFFICIAL PORN SITE ; FAITH ; EVAN aka STRAYDOG SCRAPS ; BLINKYMUMMY ; MOBY BENG ; JOEL aka BIG FUCK

(thanks to SHEENA for the pics!)

those that i saw but didn't get to speak to / meet:

AGAGOOGA ; MR MIYAGI ; MR BROWN ; POPAGANDHI (who really is hothothot!) ; SPG (who posed for a topless photo with kenny sia in the VIP room and made adrian a very happy camper. heh.) ; XIAXUE ; SANDRA (who i spotted during the bellydance segment, but when i turned back she was gone. didn't see her again at night, so i didn't get a chance to say hi again. bummer.) ; SCARLETT TING ; SASSYJAN ; KENNY SIA (who was, er, bigger than i expected. heh.) ; SILLYCELLY (who looked so sporty!)

i think i also spotted MAKANGURU and RUOK a few times, but everytime i looked again, they had disappeared! so i cannot go and say hi also. not my fault, hor! oops.

those that i heard were there but didn't get to meet :

BARFFIE ; DARTH SID (who gave hejin a rose! awww, so sweet! heh.) ; HEJIN ; and of course, the ever elusive invisible man, COWBOY CALEB, among many others.

*****

left DXO around 10-plus (no more free flow already. heh.) and headed to ONYX for this :

had to WALK all the way from DXO at esplanade to ONYX at fullerton. i nearly fainted. i'm so bloody unfit. bah.

but thanks to adrian and gerald for kindly walking with me halfway, and for showing me the way. i'm damn blur. i was so afraid i'd get lost! so useless, right?!

many many peoples at ONYX - luke, richie, boy, greg, fee, nise, ryan, sukh, joe, kash, and a whole bunch of kids that i've-seen-or-spoken-to-but-i'm-sorry-i-didn't-get-your-names-oops-my-bad.

we went in around 11.30pm (after i had to wait half an hour for them to arrive. bah.), got our free-entry-before-midnight-with-flyer and our 1-for-1 drinks-from-11pm-till-12am, bopped a little to the awesome music..

me and fee - the ultimate bouncing bundle of joyfulness and energy and love and laughs -

they should make this girl SINGAPORE'S AMBASSADOR FOR CLUBBING, i tell you. she was screaming and jumping around and having the time of her life. she's so adorable! haha.
but i was feeling so damn tired that i couldn't take it no more and decided to head for home at 1am, before KYAU vs ALBERT even come on. sigh.

i think i'm seriously getting old. no stamina already.

now i know why i always go out from 10pm onwards only. because if i go out in the evenings, i'm bloody drop-dead-tired by midnight. bummer.

or maybe it was just the weather, or maybe it was the so-relaxed-and-laid-back-atmosphere-and-music-at-DXO-rooftop-terrace-until-i-damn-sleepy-and-too-relaxed-already. whatever.

but seriously, for all you trance addicts out there who weren't there at ONYX last night - you should have been there!

for the hour or so that i was there, it was kickass awesome, and i hear it only got better and better after i left. bummer me.

hmm. i heard MINISTRY OF SOUND at suntec was pretty awesome too. maybe i should have popped by. after all, nigel offered me free entry, with a couple of free drinks too.

ah well. i'm old already, y'know. my bones creak, and i find it harder and harder to ignore when my bed calls. heh.

i see... familiar faces

2005-07-15T13:13:00.000+08:00

i popped down to o bar last night for a quick drink. bumped into gene, who was in the queue for double o. hmm.

then, i was outside talking to geraldine when i caught sight of 2 familiar faces.

now, the problem with me is that sometimes, my brain slugs go off duty (especially when there's alcohol in the vicinity.) and my memory don't work so good. so, i end up seeing familiar faces, but i simply cannot place where i've seen those faces before!

another variation of this horrible affliction is that i may remember your face, where i've seen you, but for the life of me, cannot recall your name.

yet another variation, which occurs frequently when i'm drunk outta my skull, is that all memory of you ever crossing my path (even if i've been formally introduced to you and even spent an hour talking to you or something along those lines.) is non existent.

tsk. the damage alcohol perpetrates on one's brain cells. tsk.

anyhow, there i was, standing there, stealing glances at these 2 familiar faces. brain working furiously, trying to place them.

took me some time (alcohol is baaaaad for brain.) and many furtive looks, but eventually, something finally clicked.

lo and behold - it was sandra and big fuck!

ahhh. so THAT'S why they were so familiar.

i went up to say hi to sandra, and also to confirm that it was indeed her.

she's really friendly, down to earth, and very sweet, with a warm personality. she struck me as someone who's confident, yet not arrogant.

had a short chat with her about blogs and stuff. she's got a pretty good head screwed on her shoulders, comes across as being intelligent.

and yes, she's a looker too. heh.

we share some similar views, so it was nice. she asked for my blog addy, and when i told her, i was suprised when she recognised my url and remarked "oh, you linked me!". heh.

i didn't really get the chance to talk to big fuck though. oops.

so, sandra, if you happen to read this -

it was really nice meeting you! i hope i didn't shock you too much initially. see you at the blog con :)

*****

- UPDATE (6.50pm) -

ok. just received news from sandra that the other bloggers there last night, besides her and big fuck, were :

makanguru , ruok , tripleperiod , and ping

phwoar! so many people! power! heh.

so sorry if i came across as being dao or whatever, and for not saying hi. i'm actually quite blur, lah. haha.

and i honestly didn't know who was who! i never see pictures before, mah! also, alcohol dulls my senses. haha.

oops. my apologies.

and a big, belated HI!! to everyone that was there. hopefully, i'll catch y'all at the blog con! :)

*****

- UPDATE (7.30pm - 17 July) -

seems like ah 9 was present too!

a big, belated HI!! to you too, ah 9! :)

JACKPOT!!!

2005-07-14T13:24:00.000+08:00

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

it is a glorious day.
the gods are smiling.
the world is my oyster.

i am all powerful.
i am the coolest of the cool.
i am the supreme goddess.

I RULE THE FREAKING UNIVERSE!

yes. i do.

boys and girls,
ladies and gentlemen,
"happy" people and "not-so-happy" people,
dogs and cats,
goldfish and parrots,
aliens and germs,
ALL YOUSE LIVING AND BREATHING ORGANISMS OUT THERE!

bow to me. for i am THE ONE!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

today, i have been favoured by all the supreme beings in this our very cosmic universe.
today, i have been bestowed a great honour and privilege.
today, i have been given a precious, ultra valuable, essential-to-the-very-existence-of-life gift.
today, the skies have opened and rained down blessings on me.

I PICKED UP A PACKET OF CIGARETTES!!

woohoo!

i am overjoyed. ecstatic. overwhelmed. delirious. excited. (and also freaking bloody insane. insanity leaks from my very pores and infects all who come within my radiance. but thats besides the point here.)

LE PRECIOUS GIFT FROM YE OLDE GODS was lying on the ground in the lobby of my office building.
LE PRECIOUS GIFT FROM YE OLDE GODS was lying in full view of at least 4 other lesser beings.
LE PRECIOUS GIFT FROM YE OLDE GODS was a freaking 95% spanking brand new pack.
LE PRECIOUS GIFT FROM YE OLDE GODS still has 19 cancer-bequeathing-eyesight-robbing-tar-and-nicotine sticks inside.

the one and only drawback of LE PRECIOUS GIFT FROM YE OLDE GODS is that it is a pack of Marlboro Ultra Lights.

i smoke menthol lights.

oh well.

one should not question the wisdom of YE OLDE GODS.
one should accept the graces of YE OLDE GODS with good faith and appreciation.
one should count one's blessings.

ah, the wonders of this universe!

FREE CIGARETTES are DA BOMB!

heeheehee *snicker snicker* hahaha *snort snort*

*****

i know i sound freaking insane, but hey, its freaking expensive to be a smoker in singapore nowadays, a'ite?!

this blessing saves me a whopping $11. thats a shitload of moolah, a'ite?!

add another dollar to the money i saved today, and i can get a jug of liver-eroding alcoholic water-of-life at o bar, a'ite?!

damn, i'm so freaking easy to please.

whatever. pfft.

i am such a psycho. sheesh.

excerpts from DOOFUS #1

2005-07-13T18:32:00.000+08:00

we were watching tv last night. while channel surfing, we landed at vasantham central, the tamil language channel.

DOOFUS starts commenting on the length of the name "vasantham central".

"why can't they name it something else? something shorter?

name lah - BLACK POWER or something.

or MAMA MELTDOWN.."

then, DOOFUS starts commenting on the "vasantham central" logo at the top right corner of the screen.

"see, the name so long! you know how much ink they need to waste for that or not?

put lah.. shortform - VC.. aka Viet Cong.."

aiyoh! the things that go on in his mind, i tell you.. *shakes head*

DOOFUS cracks me up. but only when he's not pissing me off. heh.

*****

DISCLAIMER : DOOFUS speaks in jest. please don't berate me for racial discrimination or whatever and so on, so forth.

2005-07-12T18:40:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY, JOSH!

confound it all, goddammit!

i'm an old fart... *grumble*

all youse young punks... *grumble*

THINGS that make me go "BOOM ; HEE ; AWW ; GAH"

2005-07-11T23:50:00.000+08:00

snippets from the past few days in my life..

*****

THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF/MAKE ME SAD :

1) power outtages while i am halfway blogging

this entry was actually supposed to have been posted on monday evening. painstakingly typed out. all that effort, time, energy.

and then. BAM! no more power. computer kaput. goodbye blog post. which made me very frustrated, very angry, very grouchy, very upset.

in short, i looked like that guy in the cartoon. except i think i was even more du lan than him. KNNBCCB.

2) people snatching my taxis

i think they should make it compulsory for taxi-stealing asswipes to wear these signs - you know, like the bright yellow vest people have to wear when they're caught littering.

monday night, i was waiting for a taxi by the roadside near my place. i was carrying a humungous bag on my frail, about-to-freaking-break shoulders. inside the bag was countless items that weighed a shitload of heavy. besides this elephant-ile burden on my fragile frame, i was also carrying a couple of comics, and the FULL-COMPLETE-SET-OF-STORIES "hitchhikers guide to the galaxy".

all this made my shoulders, arms, my entire freaking body ache. i thought i was going to crumble to dust under the immense load.

never mind. i bravely bore the weight and tried to hail a cab.

I WAS WAITING FOR FREAKING BLOODY HELL 20 GODDAMNED MINUTES CARRYING AN IMMENSE WEIGHT BEFORE I COULD GET A CAB.

normally, if i were because there really were NO CABS, i would be irritated. but just irritated.

last night, i was so freaking bloody pissed off that i wanted to goddamned bloody hell murder people. i wanted to kick them so hard their asses would have landed on the bloody moon. i wished i had an umbrella with me so that i could have poked the hell outta them and stabbed them to death.

why? why? why?! because,

a) there were no cabs. few and far between.
b) my bag very heavy. shoulder breaking. back about to snap.
c) already so difficult to wait for an empty cab to appear, then bloody hell PEOPLE COME AND STEAL MY BLOODY CABS

KNNBCCB.

first, it was one stupid guy who stood innocently on the pavement. i thought he was just waiting to cross the road or something. BUT NO! he jumped out at the last moment and SNATCHED MY TAXI!

then, it was the two china women who blatantly stood in front of me and tried to hail a cab. even after i tried to kill them with my evil eye, they refused to back off. so i walked till i was standing right behind them, and proceeded to bitch about them LOUDLY AND DIRECTLY to wayne (who i was on the phone with.) eventually, they crossed the road. probably to get away from me. because i told wayne i was gonna kick them. (i also cursed them - the taxi they got on would get a punctured tyre in the middle of the expressway, and the driver would leave the meter running while he changed the tyre.)

the third time, was the last straw. the indian lady and her daughter tried to snatch a cab from RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE. i snapped.

i walked up to them and said "excuse me. i've been waiting here for very long already. do you mind, i take this taxi first." and then i just got on the cab.

the look of shock on their faces, i tell you. and the indian woman actually backed away from me, like she was afraid i was really gonna kick her.

fine, maybe i was looking particularly murderous. and my tone of voice betrayed my anger. but hey, what the hell you expect me to freaking do?!

and you know what?

I DON'T BLOODY CARE! AND YOU CAN THANK YOU LUCKY STARS AND WHICHEVER GOD IT IS THAT YOU PRAY TO THAT I, AT LEAST, HAD THE SELF RESTRAINT, DECENCY, COURTESY, CONSIDERATION, OR WHATEVER TO TALK NICELY TO YOU INSTEAD OF HURLING VULGARITIES OR SCREAMING AT YOU OR KICKING YOUR ASS THREE WAYS TO THE MOON!!

WHICH I SO WANTED TO DO AND HAD HALF A MIND TO DO. BUT I'M A CIVILISED PERSON. UNLIKE ALL YOU FREAKING BLOODY BARBARIANS.

besides, assault and abuse are offences. and i ain't gettin myself in trouble just because of worthless scum like you.

3) places that are too bloody smoky and with bad ventilation

saturday night, we ended up at this place that i forget what its called, and i was in such agony that i literally felt like gouging my pretty little eyes out.

it was so goddamned smoky, the air was so bloody dry. my poor eyes were in pain! such pain. akin to the-kind-of-torture-they-dish-out-in-hell pain.

close eyes, pain. open eyes, pain. wash eyes, stil pain.

and i ask you. what kind of goons would only turn on the ventilator AFTER CLOSING WHEN THE CROWD HAS ALREADY LEFT?!

idiots.

4) bedroom aircon spoilt

no aircon for the past few days. i am very hot. very freaking hot.

which makes me cranky. and irritable. and very sweaty. and very sticky. gives me a headache. not good at all.

the carrier guys came today, but they couldn't fix it. KNNBCCB. they're coming back tomorrow. and they better bloody hell pray they are able to fix it if not i'll kick their asses three ways to the moon and back.

i cannot sleep. very hot. i am dying.

5) trying to talk "serious issues" with drunk/high person

the next time, remind me to indulge in more productive pursuits - like banging my head against a wall - rather than try to talk sense to drunkards.
saying that trying to have a serious conversation with a drunkard is frustrating is a serious understatement. frustration doesn't even come close to the agony it really is.

especially when the drunkard in question insists on trying to tickle you, tell you stupid jokes, laughing like a complete fool - in an attempt to make you laugh.

especially when the drunkard in question keeps changing subjects to assinine topics that make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

especially when the drunkard in question keeps drifting in and out of consciousness.

i give up.

6) the stupidity of the human race

terrorism. bombings. wars. genocide. famine. all the ills of the world.
london. new york. africa. iraq. afghanistan. and more.
zealots. fanatics. madmen. dictators. tyrants. pompous shitheads. everyone.
7/7. 9/11. live 8. so on, so forth.

the world is a sad, sad place. humans evolving into evil incarnates.

we tell ourselves we are moving forward. in truth, we are moving so far backwards, even cavemen are more civilised than us.

THINGS THAT MAKE ME SMILE/LAUGH/HAPPY :

1) silly people and silliness

me and jon act like retards. ACT ONLY HOR! *grumble*

wayne is shocked by the abomination that has hijacked jon's hair.

we did all this in the middle of tattoo pub, in far east, on a friday night, in front of lots of people.

presenting : the ugliest shampoo advertisement EVER! heh.

more photos here
2) alcohol and partying

"long island tea now comes in an array of colours to suit you! match your mood, your outfits, or just go with the flow!"

i love this flyer. so vibrant and eye catching.

saturday night - me, jaz, jai and adrianna - went a-boozing. after waiting for 15 minutes outside o bar, which was packed to the brim and queued till the road, we decided to hottail it to brix at hyatt instead.

its a really nice place. the band is awesome. the music is cool. pretty alright crowd, considering the "reputation" it has.

and the long island tea - my god!

this is what happens when the bartender is a friend. you get BLUE colour long island tea that is 3/4 long island and 1/4 tea. and of course i know that there isn't actually any tea in LIT. its just a phrase, oh-kay?! sheesh.

anyway. killer drinks. which i couldn't stomach. ugh. i hate LIT. *gags*

3) the affections and devotion of a doggy

if only i could inspire this kinda devotion and love in human beings. sigh.

4) funny tales and stories of days-long-gone

the things some people get up to in their youth - crazy ass shite, i tell you.

learning about silly things in people's past is so much fun. and provides much source for future blackmail material too. muahahaha!

we can look back now and laugh hysterically at our memories, but once upon a time they were real and very frightening. ah, how we have grown.

5) hugs and kisses

i don't just mean from your boyfriends or girlfriends or spouses or lovers or partners or whatever.

i mean even those from your family, friends, acquaintances..

even some strangers (especially when you're half drunk / your favourite team or player has just won / its christmas / its new year / etc)!

i love hugs. i love kisses. i love affection. but only from the right people, of course.

eh, i don't go around kissing and hugging every tom, dick or harry oh-kay.

must have disclaimer. if not people say i immoral or loose or slutty or cheap or what-have-you. sheesh.

6) the resilience of the human spirit

we bounce back from adversity. we stare it in the face. we don't back down. we stand up, no matter how many times we fall.

in the light of the recent bombings in london, it is refreshing and encouraging to see how the people of london are taking it all in their stride.

quotes about the bombings - some of these quotes are downright hilarious. tragedy or not, there's just no stopping the acerbic wit of the brits.

london hurts - i especially love this one.

we're not afraid - from all over the world, they come, to spread one message.

THINGS THAT MAKE ME WARM & FUZZY & MUSHY & SAPPY :

1) being woken up in the morning to a suprise after going to bed majorly pissed off

mcdonald's breakfast and flowers - does the trick everytime. heh.
mcdonalds big breakfast to make up for me not getting my cheeseburger and fries the night before, and flowers to appease me.

definitely a good sunday morning to wake up to :)

THINGS THAT MAKE ME EXASPERATED, YET MAKE ME LAUGH :

1) flowers in a plastic bag

my flowers came "specially" packaged - in a orange plastic bag.

yes, the kind of plastic bag shown in the picture. mine didn't even have wordings on it. just plain orange see-through cheapskate bag. bah.

and why are my flowers dumped unceremoniously in a basket, you ask?

because - the genius got them to cut the stems off. because - he don't like. because - got thorns.

wah lan. like that also can. doofus of the century.

2) goofy apologies

"do you know why you pissed me off?"
"because i'm an idiot. that you happen to love. and don't pretend that you don't love me."

i don't know whether to laugh, or slap you silly. how to stay angry like that?! heh.

3) stealing the most important part of my breakfast

i love my hashbrowns. i love my french fries. i love my potatoes!
i forgive you for buying me a big breakfast, which i don't like (because i don't eat the eggs.)
i forgive you for not knowing that my favourite mcdonalds breakfast is the sausage mcmuffin.

but i'm very angry you stole my hashbrown! hmph :p

"what happened to the hashbrown?!"
"oh. i ate it on the way here. i'm sorry. i was hungry."

potato thief. hmph. pfft.

what's up with MSN?!

2005-07-08T18:12:00.000+08:00

eh. this is so weird. i was blogging earlier, and i was also logged on to MSN but my status was set to "appear offline".

suddenly, MSN goes berserk and starts opening conversation windows to all of my online contacts, and this appears in my blogger box.

haha purple dino
http://j0r.biz/lol.php?barnie2001
i love u u love me lmfao
http://j0r.biz/lol.php?barnie2001
BARNIE HAHA!
http://j0r.biz/lol.php?barnie2001
BARNIE"
http://j0r.biz/lol.php?barnie2001
barnie, rofl
http://j0r.biz/lol.php?barnie2001
BARNIE"
http://j0r.biz/lol.php?barnie2001
haha purple dino
http://j0r.biz/lol.php?barnie2001
barnie, rofl
http://j0r.biz/lol.php?barnie2001
i love u u love me lmfao
http://j0r.biz/lol.php?barnie2001
haha purple dino
http://j0r.biz/lol.php?barnie2001
BARNIE"
http://j0r.biz/lol.php?barnie2001

what the hell?! thankfully, MSN doesn't allow you to send or receive messages when your status is "appear offline" so i don't think the message got sent to any of my contacts. instead, it all appeared in my blogger box.

something like this has happened to me before, some time back, and i was online at that time.

i received a message from my friend, and there was a link. i clicked on the link (stupid stupid. ya lah. i know lah! i thought it was genuine, what! it was from a good friend! my friends and i exchange links to shite off the internet via MSN all the time! how was i to know?! gah!) but got supsicious when it prompted me to redirect myself. so i didn't click anymore and closed the window.

and then chaos erupted.

conversation windows started popping open for all my online contacts, and it turned out I WAS NOW SENDING THE LINK TO THEM.

i panicked. i changed my MSN nick to "do not click on anything i send you!!!", sent out messages to my friends to disregard messages/links from me, and logged off.

later, a friend of mine told me that the link was a virus of some sort.

thankfully, none of my friends were as dumb as me (hopefully!) to go clicking on random silly links. after that incident, i still used MSN frequently, with no side effects.

and now, its happened again! wah lau. lucky i set to "appear offline". *phew*

does anyone know what the hell this is? what causes it? and how do i get rid of it!! help!! argh!

my "pink-ribbon" experience

2005-07-08T15:21:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry this is a super long post, but i started unloading my thoughts and memories and just couldn't stop. oops.

--------------------
--------------------

i was only 20, and i ignored the lumps at first. i only got scared when they started growing and my doctor decided to send me for a mammogram.

2 lumps were detected, both in the same breast. according to the doctor, they were both quite huge.

maybe it was the look on the doctor's face when he looked at the xrays. the concern in his eyes, the soft "cluck cluck" sounds he made with his tongue. the way he hemmed and hawed while shuffling through his papers.

perhaps it was the freezing cold aircon in the room that sent the shivers down my spine and caused my skin to prickle and the goosebumps to appear.

whatever it was, when he eventually turned to me and spoke, it suddenly hit me that i had breast lumps. two of them. and they might, just might, be cancerous.

i guess this was the point where i really got panicky. when i realised that "hey. this is serious shite."

i remember the feeling well - the sinking in my stomach, the quickening thumping in my chest, the coldness in my fingers, the slight trembling of my body, the hot tears slowly starting to form, the whirlwind of thoughts in my head which would occasionally lapse into complete blankness and shock..

i was told that i had the option of removing them straightaway and then testing them, or testing them first while they were still in me and then removing later.

of course, i chose to remove them first. no way in hell was i gonna allow those lumps to remain inside me any longer than they already had. i was not going to give them a chance to fester.

i had to go to the hospital for a checkup first, where the doctor there confirmed the lumps were, in fact, present. an appointment was made for day surgery.

on the day of the surgery, my dad sent me to the hospital, checked me in, signed all the paperwork, and then left. he had to go back to work, so i was on my own.

waiting for my name to be called was nerve wrecking. waiting for my turn in the operating theater was almost enough to reduce me to a quivering mass of whimpering flesh.

(on a side note, lest anyone think i am a wuss - which i fully admit i may be, in certain instances - i battled this surge of emotions on the inside. on the outside, i was cool, calm, collected, and cheerful. eh, you know how cold you feel wearing just that silly "gown" or not?! and hospitals are freaking cold, oh-kay. why they insist on freezing their patients to death, i will never understand. hospitals. bah.)

time came for the deed to be done. i lay down on the table/bed/horizontal-electric-chair-of-doom and flashed my boobies to all and sundry.

the lights came on, the "partitions" came up (if they had let me observe them cutting into me, i probable would have mega freaked out.) and i was almost blinded. the surgeon and the nurses chatted with me, trying to make me comfortable. reassuring me that it was all gonna be alright (damn. i guess my fear and apprehension showed through. even though i was trying my darndest to "act brave".)

it was local anesthesia, and i was scared shitless. i was going to be awake, albeit slightly woozy. bloody hell.

of course, i could have opted for general anesthesia, but it was way more expensive, and i didn't wanna be knocked out for the entire day while warded in a hospital bed.

they started injecting me with anesthetic. after each injection, they would poke me with a knife to see if i was numb. one dosage was supposed to be enough to kill feelings in most human beings.

me, i required elephant-sized dosage of anesthetic - 3 jabs. 3 freaking tries of a needle poking me in my boobies (i hate needles.) 3 bloody dosages.

wah lau. boys and girls, this is why, when they say DO NOT SMOKE BEFORE SURGERY, you should BLOODY HELL LISTEN TO THEM. why? because the goddamned anesthesia don't freakin work no good when you have bloody nicotine and shite in your blood stream.

nabeh. yeah, i know, my own bloody fault. but hey, i was a scared little girl! not even 21 years old and already faced with the possibilty of having breast cancer! trust me, the prospect of losing a boobie is not freakin pretty. i was terrified outta my pretty little head. OF COURSE I BLOODY NEEDED TO SMOKE TO CALM MYSELF DOWN! bah.

i was freaking out and practically screaming "i can still feel it!" while praying to myself that they wouldn't cut me yet, not while i could still feel the damned knife.

this is the point where i started to cry. not hysterically, just silently - from fear, from helplessness, from pain (which in my morbidness i imagined to be grossly magnifed.)

soon, thankfully, the anesthesia kicked in and i was more or less numb.

note that i say "more or less". i could still feel sensations, but it didn't hurt so much. more like just uncomfortableness.

they cut me up, and then they used some suction thingy to suck the lumps out. bloody hell, i can still remember the feeling of the suction thingy. yes, i felt it. i think the anesthesia was starting to wear off (or maybe i was just imagining it, again. whatever.)

trust me. it doesn't feel good to be lying on an operating table, in a semi-conscious woozy fuzzy world where everything around you seems surreal as though through a foggy mist of haze, knowing that somewhere on your body there is a gaping knife inflicted hole that you can't see, and that there's a tube sucking out stuff inside you, praying frantically that it would all be over before the anesthesia wore off and you start feeling it.

till today, i still have a terrible fear of operations and knives, and of anesthesia. i'm terrified that the anesthesia will wear off halfway through and i'll be able to feel everything, and i'll go berserk.

the worst part was, when they cut me open, they found that instead of 2 lumps, i had 3.

the surgeon showed me the lumps when they were finished, while i was still lying on the table. they were in jars and swimming in fluid.

what happened was, there was a third lump attached to one of the lumps, hiding behind it. thats why the xrays couldn't detect it, it was hidden. sort of like twin lumps.

they looked gross. like white lumps of fleshy fat with wispy tendrils flowing, speckled with red. disgusting. and they were bigger than i had expected. not so much pingpong ball sized, but somewhere around 50% of that size. and there were 3 of them.

i was sent back to the ward, where i promptly knocked out for a few hours. sometime in the afternoon (the surgery was in the morning.) i awoke, got dressed, and discharged myself. i was still not fully functional, and alternating between full consciousness and bursts of wooziness. but at least i wasn't knocking into things and blacking out.

i managed to walk all the way from the hospital block to the main road, to clear my head. i smoked a few cigarettes (horrible habit. dammit.) and instead of going home, i travelled all the way down to my workplace (which, at that point was a little pub in serangoon gardens.) where i shocked my colleagues and friends who thought i was insane to be traipsing around straight after surgery and not resting in bed at home.

it was starting to hurt, and i couldn't lift my arm for fear of bursting the stitches. 2 weeks medical leave (cannot lift arm, how to carry jugs of beer and alcohol??) but i went back to work sooner. bored outta my skull and being occupied kept my mind of thinking and worrying about the results of the biopsy on the lumps.

it was torturous waiting for the results. all the uncertainty, the fear, the helplessness.. imagination running wild, thinking the worst, frequent bouts of panic, occasional streams of tears..

finally, the results came back. i couldn't sit still in the doctor's office. cold sweat and all the cliched feelings one goes through in such instances.

i was overjoyed when i heard "non-cancerous". the lumps were just fibroids or something like that.

still, the doctor warned me to be extra careful and vigilant. and i was. for a period of time. over the years, i've pushed it all to the back of my mind. occasionally, it pops up and starts nagging at me, but for the most part, i've been lax. i get panicky once in awhile, but i shouldn't forget that for a brief period in my life, breast cancer was very real.

until i read barffie's post and the experiences of syntaxfree and linda.

i was fortunate that in my experience, it was just a scare. but what if it had been the real thing? and maybe, the next time, it will be.

i've been slacking off being vigilant, become lazy about checking myself, forgotten that once upon a time i was there..

its time to start taking this seriously again. because, god knows, it is a very real issue. and not something to laugh about.

i was only 20 then. i'm one of the lucky ones. there are those who are not so lucky. which is why i have pink ribbons.

to linda and syntaxfree, i hope everything turns out ok. from someone who has been there before, i know how scary it can be.

to everyone else, please do take this seriously, if you don't already. and yes, men can get it too.

--------------------
--------------------

postnote :

removing the stitches was a bitch and a half. this was still the time of those metal stitches. unlike the stitches nowadays which self dissolve or disintegrate or i-don't-know-what-they-do.

the nurse cut the knot off at one end, and then she just PULLED THE DAMN THING OUT. like unravelling the stitches from your clothes. except that this was MY BLOODY SKIN WE'RE TALKING ABOUT! goddamn, it hurt. and the metal stitches even made a "zinggggg" sound when pulled out. ouchouchouchouchouch.

2005-07-07T19:40:00.000+08:00

wayne! you have seriously got to check this!

dream, from the endless by neil gaiman on ibook
(via squarebrain)
eat your heart out, dude. this is some seriously awesome shite. probably one of the coolest autographs EVER.

heh.

funny videos (yes, i have too much free time today)

2005-07-05T11:08:00.000+08:00

white guy dance

all-in-one instructional video for all you dancing-handicapped people out there. but i warn you first.

anyone dances like that in front of me when we're in a club, imma gonna slap you silly (after i pick myself up from the floor where i am lying because i fell down from laughing my freaking ass off.) muahahaha!

japanese talent show

dudes.. this is some kinda freaky "ability", man.. its a skill. it truly is. heh.

*boing boing boing*

i have no idea what the chick in this video is tryin to do, or what the advertisement's tryin to sell (i think its, er, chocolates?!).. but if you just wanna see a pair of japanese bouncin titties, this is for you.

--- via BORE ME ---

*****
if any of you haven't already been introduced to triumph the insult comic dog from late night with conan o brien..

you deserve to be shot and hung up by your little toes with your ding dongs used as punching bags.

this puppet is the top dog, literally.

unfortunately, i tried linking to the videos, but somehow it just doesn't seem to bloody work.

dammit!

so, you're all gonna have to do this MANUALLY - one click at a time. too bad. ah well, exercise those pudgy fingers. NOW! heh.

1) go to NBC's homepage

2) click on the small box (below the nbc logo. top left of screen.) that says "find your favourites - select a show"

3) yellow box appears in the middle of the page

4) search for "late night" and then "late night / conan" and click

5) on the left side of your screen, all those yellow and blue links - click on the one that says "triumph" under "highlights"

6) enjoy the videos

the "cheer up, wayne" post

2005-07-01T14:41:00.000+08:00

if me acting like a retard and emailing you a million and one songs (all for the purpose of entertaining you and making you laugh. don't say i not sister, ah! the things i do for you boys. sigh. heh.) isn't enough, here's some brain numbing stuff for youse, and all other bored souls out there.

*****

what colour, what colour?! hehehe. revenge is sweet, aye.

THE BHAIS PINCH BACK

*****

heh. this is cute. and i've heard many of these complaints from my male friends before.

A MEN'S ROOM MONOLOGUE via lancerlord

*****

this is really educational, but at the same time freakin hilarious. i wish they had stuff like this when i was in school. it would have made all those "talks" so much more interesting (then maybe i would have payed attention instead of dozing off in the comfy air conditioned auditorium. heh.)

banzai!! bwahahaha. (you have to watch the flash to understand it lah. *grin*)

HOW PREGNANCY HAPPENS via evelyn

*****

i can only say one thing about this flash - AWESOME FUNNY-LAUGH-TILL-YOU-FALL-OFF-THE-CHAIR SHITE!

of course, you might not get the full effect if you don't understand hokkien, but its still worth a look.

STICKMAN AH BENGS via jordan

*****

DUDE! i need to get my one of these for my wall! sweeeeet!

STAR WARS : LAST SUPPER

via boing boing from giant mag - desktop wallpaper

*****

on a side note.

went out last night. popped down to o bar for a few drinks. man, age is really catching up with me. alcohol is starting to make me wonky. and my stamina for all nighters is definitely not what it used to be. sigh.

bumped into scott at mohd sultan. made him stand on the pavement to talk to me cos i was wearing heels and i was tall. heh.

also bumped into aloysious, that guy who works at devils bar. he cut his hair! why why why! now no more taiwanese / japanese long hair cutie pie already. bah. got asked why i haven't been to devils for so long. eh, i HAVE been there. just that i never bumped into him recently. heh.

spent a good night, just chilling out at o bar. enjoying the music, chatting with the peeps who work there.

geraldine, the door *cough*bitch*cough* (she's really nice, i swear! and she's hot, too. very oriental kinda. and she's got nice legs, and butt's not bad too. well, thats accordin to jaz, anyways.)

midi, the bartender, is so cute. he does this hand-wave thing with me whenever he shakes my hand to say hi. haha.

my god. i frequent o bar so much. the people there all know me. but they're really nice, real friendly. and i love the atmosphere at the place lah. music's good too, if you like hip hop and r&b. of course, the prices are the BESTEST. heh.

tonight, crazy elephant at clarke quay with the hups gang. yay!

POSTSECRET

2005-06-30T20:13:00.000+08:00

PostSecret
i finally found the time to visit this site, and i have to say..

I LOVE IT.

the postcards are so beautifully decorated. the secrets are so heartfelt and so touching.

some secrets are so dark, desperate.
some secrets are silly, childish.
some secrets are normal.
some secrets are appalling.
some secrets make you laugh.
some secrets make you sad.
some secrets make you angry.
some secrets make you scared.

but the one thing about all these secrets, is that every single one of them is REAL.

its real to the person who holds it.
its real to the people who identify with it.
its real to the people who thought they were alone, but find out that there are others out there who feel the same way.

and that's what makes this site so wonderful.

the fact that people can unburden themselves from the load they have carried.
the fact that people can see they are not alone.
the fact that people can touch others, and be touched.

so, if you have a spare moment today, and if you haven't visited postsecret yet, please do pop over for a visit. it's worth your time. i promise.

the 2 postcards i chose to display are the ones that i identify with most. there are others, but these 2 really struck a chord hidden deep inside me.

which ones affect you the most?

2005-06-28T23:58:00.000+08:00

i just realised..

that ryan is actually in that prudential advertisement showing on tv!

y'know, the ad that has the army boys. and the sergeant (or IC or whoever) is asking them "who did it?". then one guy steps forward, and one by one the other guys step forward.

the first guy that steps forward! thats ryan! the camera zoomed in on his face, and i was like "oh my god! ryan!" hahaha.

i've seen that ad so many times, but i've never noticed it before! wah lau. i must be blind. heh.

wait. it IS him, right? or are my eyes playing freaking tricks on me?! does ryan have a twin?! a doppelganger?! argh!

first day of the week, i'm drinking already..

2005-06-28T23:38:00.000+08:00

so, last night, a bunch of us met up at tattoo pub at far east plaza for drinks. it was jenita's birthday, and also probably the last time we would have the chance to drink with kumar before he goes back to the UK this thursday.

there we were - me, jaz, kumar, michelle, shawn (who left early), austin, jenita, kristian - chugging beer and telling silly stories about our teenage years, when we all used to be "far east kids"...

it was good fun remembering old times, and laughing about things we used to do - our fearlessness in our youth, silly antics, skeletons in the closets, old relationships, bad experiences..

funny how bad experiences are always one of the funniest, when you look back after years gone by, and you realise how dumb it all was. but of course, at that point of time when it occured, it was living hell.

i have learnt, beyond doubt, that kristian is one helluva funny guy. he would just sit there, telling us these crazy stories, and all of us are cracking up and howling with laughter and shaking with mirth so much that we're crying - and he manages to maintain a straight face - which just makes it even funnier, and we crack up even more. heh.

pity i don't have photos. hmph.

soon, the pub closed and we left, going our seperate ways. me and jaz waited with kristian for his cousin to arrive - alcohol from 7-11, sitting outside burger king.

after, me and jaz headed to devils bar to meet clement, nicholas and alvin for a "sort-of" birthday celebration for clement.

nicholas & clement - with nicholas trying to prove that he has big hands (so need to find big breasts to fit?! hahaha!)

me & clement - who looks damn kuai lan. but then, he always looks kuai lan. but he's not so bad. he's a nice guy, really!

me & alvin - i love my outfit yesterday. a refreshing change from what i normally wear. (and i received many compliments, too! yay! i like! yes, i am a shameless whore. bwahahaha!)

me & jaz - i love these 2 photos! very nice, right?! heh.
while the 3 boys went to geylang to eat laksa (sure or not?! laksa ONLY ah? heh.) me and jaz went to our usual supper destination - newton.

but i really really really wanted to go to coffee club. because i had a horrible craving for their country pie. *drool* awesome shit, i tell you! and everytime i wanna eat it, something always screws up so i cannot eat it, and it was pissing me off.

so when we got to newton, i was really grouchy and moody and cranky. seriously. i was behaving like a bloody spoilt brat (oops.) and i refused to eat anything.

"i don't want. i only want to eat the country pie from coffee club."

i bitched and whined and complained.. then jaz said he was going to the toilet, but he was gone for a SUPER long time..

and then..

he came back. with my country pie!

he felt so bad that he actually ran to get a cab, went down to coffee club, ordered a country pie, lied to the staff, and rushed back to newton.

jaz : "i don't care how you do it, but i want my country pie NOW! my wife is pregnant and she really wants the country pie!"

staff : "i understand, sir. i know how it feels."

and the poor girl actually ran into the kitchen and produced a country pie, nicely packed, within 5 minutes! phwoar! normally, it takes at least 10 to 15 minutes for food to arrive. and it was damn crowded last night somemore.

so sweet of him right?!

i swear, i was so touched that i was grinning wider than a cheshire cat. and the food tasted absolutely heavenly. divine.

thank you so so much, sweetie! you're an absolute darling!

yup. i went to bed a very happy, very satisfied, very blissful girl indeed. *grin*

*****

supposed to meet clement and all at devils bar today to finish the bottles from last night, but i have contracted a sudden running nose.

BAH! sucky to the max. feel like shit. bloody hell.

out, damn flu, OUT! grrrr.

i went to church today!

2005-06-26T21:45:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CLEMENT!

i figure you should be on the plane right now, on the way back from perth. see you back in singapore tomorrow!

*****

also..

WELCOME HOME, SUE!

good to have you back, SIL. even though its only for a month. we gonna go "lancing lancing"! haha.

oh, and i forgive you for not bringin back my surfer dude from brisbane. next time, just club him over the head and stuff into your suitcase! muahaha!

*****

went to church early this morning with my family for my sister's confirmation. my cousin - jeff - and his girlfriend - cherilyn - came along as well. cherilyn's now my sister's godma. and she's my age! my sister's already 16. hmm.

the archbishop came to celebrate mass and confirm the confirmants. archbishop leh! phwoar. and during sermon, he started talking about the different kinds of catholics.

1) "dispatch" catholics

these are those that become catholics through birth (ie. born into a catholic family and baptised at birth), marriage (marry a catholic and join the faith), blah blah.

2) "supermarket" catholics

these are the "pick and choose" catholics - they only adhere to the catholic practises that suit them and disregard the ones that don't suit their lifestyle, etc.

3) "anchor" catholics

just like how a ship drops anchor in stormy waters to keep itself stable, so these catholics only turn to god when they are in trouble.

4) "catholic" catholics

i don't think i need to expain this. self-explanatory, right?

5) "outstanding" catholics

the best of the lot! hahaha! i quote the archbishop - "wah! should be very good, right? sound so nice!"
but no, it means those that come to church, but then stand outside. thus, "OUT-STANDING".

when i heard the last one, i nearly burst out laughing. its a common joke amongst me and my friends. muahahaha!

guess which type of catholic i am? its damn easy to guess. i give you a hint, ok? there are only 2 so called "acceptable" catholics - type 1 and type 4.

i am NEITHER. i am everything else.

but then again, i'm not baptised. i believe in god, very much. and jesus, and mother mary. and the holy spirit.

when people ask me what religion i am, i say catholic. because to myself, i AM a catholic. even though i don't go to church (except on special occasions and when i'm forced to by my mother.)

i'm not very religious, i guess.

anyway, this is a very long issue to discuss - religion and my beliefs and the catholic faith and the church and blah blah - so i shall leave it for another day and another post.

i'm too tired to go into depth today. its a sunday, dammit! its a day of rest. so imma resting my poor brain. heh.

hmm. suprising i can remember all this, since all i could think about during the 1.5 hour mass was for everything to hurry up and end so i could go home and crawl back into my comfy bed. heh.

so stoned. surviving on 7 hours of sleep since friday. ugh. and too much alcohol! gah!

lack of sleep = not enough time for alcohol to leave body = shitty feeling

ugh.

there was a buffet thingy after for confirmants and their friends and family. so i ended up staying in church from 9am till almost 12pm. ugh.

came home, ate a burger king lunch, and then knocked out the entire afternoon. yes, i slept practically my entire sunday away. but it was freakin WORTH IT!

sleep is goooood. lazy sundays are goooood.

and now, i am fully awake.
i cannot fall asleep.
which means i'll be up till 3 or 4 in the morning again.
and i have to be at work at 8.30am tomorrow.
which means i have to wake up around 7.30am.
which means i will only have 3 or 4 hours of sleep tonight.
which means i will be suffering from lack of sleep tomorrow.
which means i will be damn tired.
which means i will come home after work and take a nap.
which means i will wake up tomorrow night around 9 or 10 and be fully awake again.

and the cycle shall repeat itself, over and over again. gah! vicious, vicious cycle. evil, it is.

my body clock's screwed up. help!

2005-06-25T11:52:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRANDON!

to my best friend and brother, have a great day and may ALL your wishes come true!

oh my god. we're a quarter of a century old! basket..

*****

just a quickie. very busy. no time! days need to be longer. nights need to be doubled, at least. sigh. life is crazy. swirling vortex of sheer madness and utter insanity.

on a side note - luke is in KL now. at sepang. watching the japan gt. he got free grandstand tickets. which cost, about, RM400 or so?

I AM SO BLOODY JEALOUS!

I WANNA GO!

ITS NOT FAIR!

BOOHOOHOO!

I WANNA SEE NICE FAST CARS!

I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA!

bloody hell. why do i have to work today?! nabeh.

bloody hell! he better take pictures of the cars for me to see. if not i'll, er, poke him in the ribs! muahahahaha!

next time next time. i wanna go see cars! i wanna go "vroom vroom"!

basket.

father's day + ryan the dog

2005-06-20T18:10:00.000+08:00

yesterday was father's day. i bought my daddy a walnut brownie cake from a neighbourhood bakery. cannot afford high class cakes lah. so must make do. eh, its the thought that counts, right?! but it turned out to be quite delicious, so its all good. heh.

my younger sis made a card using our trusty computer, which all 3 of us kids signed, to present to daddy together with the cake.

1) daddy and the 3 kids - younger bro, younger sis, me.

my brother is damn tall, right? even my sis is tall, for a 16 year old. i used to feel that i'm taller than average, but now i feel like a short-ass. hmph.

oh, and excuse my stoned face. very tired. no make up. lighting not good. camera angle unflattering. FINE LAH! its all excuses lah. i'm U-G-L-Y. bah!

2) daddy and mummy

daddy with his cake and card - happy fathers day, daddy :)

oh, i also went over to wayne's yesterday afternoon to bum around. we watched "edward scissorhands" again. i like. so touching. and no, i did not cry oh-kay. bloody hell! bleh.

and wayne has been letting his dog, ryan, watch too much porno. tsk. i got groped, licked, sniffed.. and ryan knows his stuff, man. went straight for the breasts, this dog. tsk.

cute dog. but still. WAYNE! stop letting ryan watch those pornos with you!

and yes, at least now you know your dog's not gay. heh.

warning : star wars overload!

2005-06-18T21:30:00.000+08:00

you know you've had too much star wars when :

your good friend, who's going through a bad break up, says :

"i just wonder what happened to the guy i loved so much."

and the first thing that pops into your mind, which you actually reply, is :

"he turned to the dark side. got too obsessed with the material things. got brainwashed by the evil emperor, XXX."

****

argh! i am such a star wars freak!

my weekend so far

2005-06-18T21:00:00.000+08:00

last night was friday. i didn't go out. no clubbing. no dancing. no movie. no chill out session. no coffeeshop session. not even go out walk around my neighbourhood.

BUT. i drank beer. which made me happy.

i was rotting at home.

UNTIL. i got dragged outta my comfortable house around 3am.

watch dvd. drink beer. eat nasi lemak. talk cock.

BUT. i never go clubbing, hor! so its still considered that i DID NOT "go out". correct?!

tonight is saturday. i don't know if i'm going out. i don't know where i should go.

let us consider our options, shall we?

1) SUMMERLOVE DANCE 2005

location : KM8 @ tanjong beach, sentosa
attendees : kumar, melvin, zubin, and i dunno who else
entrance fee : $20 before 10pm, $35 after

2) SOLAR STONE

location : onyx @ fullerton
attendees : the kids (luke, richie, greg, fee, etc etc) + fique + ash + i dunno who else
entrance fee : $18 inclusive 2 drinks

3) MY ROOM

location : my house
attendees : me, myself, and i (and also my kid sister)
entrance fee : free! but NO ALCOHOL

4) NEWTON (unconfirmed)

location : newton
attendees : i dunno
entrance fee : NIL

HOW? i want to go out. but i feel so lazy. and i don't really have the mood, to be honest. also, not much cash available for alcohol expenditure.

THEN. if i go out, which one should i go for?!

BUT! i need to collect ciggies from luke either way.

HOW HOW HOW!!

i don't know lah. i shall just wait and see what happens later tonight. go wherever my impulses take me, yes?

*****

yay!

i am happy.

i'm eating my beloved SAMBAL KANGKONG and SAMBAL STINGRAY.

i am a certified sambal kangkong WHORE. i swear to god.

i can finish one entire plate of sambal kangkong with rice by MYSELF at newton circus.

good days, i can eat a medium plate. bad days, i eat at least a small plate.

even my friends know all too well my habit. my insatiable lust and craving for sambal kangkong. when they see me, they know what to order.

I LOVE MY SAMBAL KANGKONG! *drool*

i am ashamed to be a human being

2005-06-17T18:51:00.000+08:00

what kind of psychotic assholes would hold a bunch of 2 to 6 year old CHILDREN hostage?
what kind of sick, deranged bastards would murder a 2 year old CHILD?
what kind of heartless creatures would shoot a young CHILD in the HEAD?

and all because, according to authorities, the poor innocent boy CRIED TOO MUCH?!

murder is bad enough. but when its murdering innocent children, whose only crime was being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and who was JUST CRYING, for gods sakes!! he was TERRIFIED! of course he's bloody CRYING you fucking assholes!

it crosses so many lines, i don't even know where to begin. what happened to basic human decency? basic morality? has your conscience really been devoured by dogs? have you no fucking brains, no fucking heart at all?

no matter what the world had done to you, no matter what wrongs have been committed against you - what gives you the fucking right to turn on CHILDREN?

they who are the most innocent. they who are the least responsible for whatever the fuck shithole you're in. they who do not know that a human being's natural reaction in times of fear and uncertainty - crying - would bring such grief in the end.

when i think of what the poor boy could have been thinking of during those last few seconds.. when i think of how much trauma those other little children were put through.. when i think of the grief and the anguish of all those parents and families of those kids, especially the loved ones of that 2 year old canadian boy..

my heart literally aches.

i will freely admit that i cried when i think about it. how can anyone who has a heart, who has even the tiniest shred of feelings, the tiniest trace of human decency, not be affected by something as mindless and as cruel as this?

the world has become a sad, sad, terrible place. i am heartbroken, devastated, and completely appalled.

i'm starting to believe that adrian has somehow got the right idea about not having children.

my heart truly goes out to the family of that little 2 year old canadian boy, as well as to everyone whose lives he has touched within his short stay on this earth.

his life has been cruelly wrenched from him, all too soon.

he will never know life, never know the world, never know joy and happiness, as we have had the good fortune to know.

but, at least, this way, he will no longer have to know the pain, the suffering, the sorrow, and the evil and the fucking fucked-up-ness that abounds in the world.

my prayers are with you. may god bless you and keep you.

as for the motherfuckers that did this, i hope all of you fucking burn in hell, a thousand times over.

* CNN NEWS LINK *

talking to myself

2005-06-17T15:47:00.000+08:00

i'm still feeling very tired, very lethargic, very moody - just generally in a major downer of a funk.

my body is starting to act up. its gone all wonky and screwy.

i'm starting to lose interest in alcohol.
i'm starting to lose energy for going out.
i'm starting to withdraw into my shell.
i'm starting to get cranky and jumpy and irritable.
i'm starting to nitpick.
i'm starting to feel tired all the time - no matter how much i sleep, its never enough.
i get so hungry, but when food is in front of me, i lose my appetite half way and can't finish it. then i get hungry again after awhile. but the same cycle repeats.

what's wrong with me?

i think i'm burning out.

i've been riding on a whirlwind of activity since the start of this year and maybe its time for me to take a break. the reason(s) i embarked on that whirlwind of decadence and excesses has long since ceased to be important to me. the wounds have healed (or so i hope).

but now, i find myself faced with new issues. a whole different set of stuff to deal with.

i have a lot on my mind. a lot to think about. a lot to consider. a lot to ponder.

decisions to make. i need to think long and hard. i need to weigh the good and bad. i need to ask myself questions and force myself to answer truthfully.

but i'm worried. about making the wrong decision. about making a decision on impulse. about making a decision, but not being able to carry it out.

i realise i've been in a philosophical mood recently. is that good or bad, i don't really know.

maybe i just think too much.

perhaps.

i know i deserve so much more. i know it.

2005-06-15T16:55:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WAYNE!

hope you had a good time, brother dear. and i nice girl, so i give you MANY wishes, instead of just ONE (heh. if you don't remember, go see the kids' card)

may all your WISHES come true!

&

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STACE!

have a great one, girl!

perth isn't home, we're not with you, but our thoughts and wishes can travel great distances. no need air ticket! heh.

*****

sorry for being missing in action lately, guys. have been really busy and kinda stressed / frazzled / irritatable / ~~murderous~~ temperamental.

also, my brain hasn't been working very well in recent times so i don't have brain juice to think coherently.

yeah yeah i know. its always not working properly anyways. but its been particularly wonky lah. brain slugs are zonked out and gone on strike.

i have so bloody much to blog about i don't even know where to start! gah!

be back real soon. toodle-loo!

i am a magic fan, yes i am

2005-06-10T17:45:00.000+08:00

the past few days, i have been dreaming of magic tricks and magicians. more specifically, card tricks and david copperfield.

i blame jeramie (or dinesh.. whichever lah). come back from melbourne and show me card tricks and amaze me so much that now i cannot sleep without dreaming of magic. bloody hell!

magic tricks fascinate me. seriously. especially card tricks. and jeramie, he's damn good, i tell you.

my mouth literally dropped open and just hung there. i was speechless. a few times, i even screamed cos i was so bloody shocked.

why am i so easily amused, ah? why am i so easily fascinated, ah? why am i so easily amazed, ah?

cannot tahan. liddat, damn easy to impress me. bloody hell.

the thing that amazes me the most about jeramie and his kickass card tricks, is that he's purely self taught. from watchin videos.

wah piang. liddat also can. i also want to learn! then i can ~~cheat~~ amaze other people. eh, its a skill, ok. next time, when i got no job, i can become MAGICIAN.

magician earn big money, ok? look at david copperfield. and david blaine.

somemore, can attract many many handsome guys by ~~conning~~ amazing them with my super powderful awesome card tricks. eh. david copperfield married claudia schiffer, right?! supermodel, leh! phwoar!

heh.

i remember when i was a kid, i had a huge crush on david copperfield. so handsome! those eyes! literally smouldering. and phwoar! his magic. damn power!

handsome, right?! i like i like! *drool*

this photo he look like some bollywood star, yes? check out those eyes! can really get lost in them, man. *swoon*
make the statue of liberty disappear, leh! he walked through the bloody great wall of china, dammit! escaped from alcatraz. jumped off niagara falls. escaped from a straight-jacket held by burning ropes above a bed of nails, oh-kay!

i remember watching this last one. it was on tv. i held my breath and nearly burst out in tears as i saw the ropes breaking, one by one. and then, the thing fell down onto the bed of nails. i screamed, the audience gasped. they rushed to open the jacket, and he wasn't inside! he had made it! i think he reappeared somewhere, to the tune of some haunting fanfare music, looking so suave and composed, with those smouldering eyes and that sly smile. i nearly fainted with joy. my heart was thumping like nobody's business. i was completely in awe, i swear! eh. even houdini refused to attempt this stunt, oh-kay. so its really damn bloody awesome.

then. someone (i think it was my mother) spoilt everything for me by announcing to me that the only reason he was such an amazing magician / illusionist, was because he sold his soul to the devil in exchange for his "powers".

"just look at his eyes. so evil!"

so i looked. and a chill went down my spine.

those dark, soulful eyes. once so mesmerising and smouldering, now just shone with evil-ness. the more i stared into those eyes (ok lah. not really stared "into" his eyes. since he was on tv and i could only stare at him when the camera panned to his face. but i caught a few good glimpses of his eyes!) the more they seemed full of evil.

evil? i dunno. but those eyes have "power", thats for sure. hmm. eh. do you think his eyes seem to be almost red in this photo?
psychological? maybe. probably. i blame my mother (or whoever it was that told me that)

do i believe that these magicians / illusionists really sold their souls to the devil to get so good?

maybe. perhaps. in a way. i guess. the argument does get convincing at some point. especially when you honestly think about the some of the stunts they perform and how freaking unbelievable and impossible they really are.

but it still amazes me. it still fascinates me. devil or no devil. evil or no evil.

so now you know how to impress me. just show me magic tricks. preferably card tricks.

but please, hor. make sure you can actually pull it off first. i want to be flabbergasted. not laugh till i pee my pants when you drop all the cards on the floor. heh.

United Nations of Tattoos

2005-06-06T23:54:00.000+08:00

i don't know how come, but suddenly it seems like tattoos are popping up everywhere!

like, i realised that quite a few of my friends have tattoos. and those that didn't have, are jumping onto the body-art-wagon.

SCOTT's tattoo - he originally got just the capricorn sign in the middle, then he extended it by adding the wings

my best friend, BRANDON's tat (right arm) he's had it for awhile too. but the colour never fade at all. nice, yes?
but i am still the coolest. becos i have had tattoos for damn bloody long already. and all these people are copying me. becos they wanna be just, like, ME (for your information, i didn't say this. i quote wayne. bwahahaha!) wah lau. damn bloody thick skinned. but its alright. becos it's the truth! ha!

got my first tattoo at the tender age of, er, 18? i had been thinkin about gettin myself inked for the longest time - ever since i was in secondary school.

but, becos i am such a clever, sensible, rational, cool person - i decided to consider all the consequences and implications thoroughly before takin the ultimate step. which resulted in me puttin of gettin inked till i turned 18.

i still remember that first time. that first experience.

i went with a good friend of mine, T. in the days leading up to that fateful day, the two of us were busy deciding what kind of tattoos we wanted to get. T - the more creative and design-gifted of the two of us - had actually designed a few kickass designs.

however, on that day itself, the designs went missing. so we opted for one of the patterns lifted from the numerous books they had on display. T suggested altering it slightly, and me, being "anything", agreed.

we went to the nearby pub to ~~get ourselves shitfaced drunk~~ grab a quick drink to calm our nerves before the deed.

i remember i even brought my mug of beer over to the tattoo parlour and i was happily ~~getting drunk~~ chugging down my beer while watching T get inked.

soon, T's was over - it was my turn.

suprisingly, it was one of the best feelings i have ever experienced in my entire life. it didn't hurt at all (or maybe i was just too bloody drunk to feel anything) in fact, it was a damn "shiok" feeling. like a mini orgasm. and it only took 15 min! (or should i say it lasted a mind blowing 15 min.. heh.)

the end result? matching tattoos on T and my right shoulderblades.

look like LTA logo or not? dammit. LTA should sponsor me free transport for the rest of my life, man. i'm a bloody walking advertisement for them!
the only regret i have about this tattoo, is that its too small. and also the fact that when people ask me what the bloody hell its supposed to be / stand for, i dunno what to tell them.

i used to repeat the entire story - how i got it outta a book and how i share the same tat with a friend. nowadays, i just tell them "its a stylised LTA logo." and they shut up. a couple of people give me funny looks, like "what the hell is the LTA logo doing on your body?! are you quite absolutely stark raving mad?!" but i just smile insanely back at them. and they leave me alone. heh.

my second tattoo, i got a few years back. i think it was 2003? i had just got back from bali.

this is on my lower back, slightly above my ass. its about the size of my palm (which is, er, average sized?) and it gives me the right to say "my biohazard arse". heh.
this one. HURT. quite a bit. especially the closer it got to my ass. took about an hour or so. (but i didn't cry, ok?! nabeh.) i actually quite enjoy pain. and i like to think that i have a slightly higher than normal threshold for pain. i went clubbin immediately after gettin inked, and was dancing as per normal.

i think getting inked is therapeutic. i always feel good after my tats. even gettin pierced is exhilarating. (although i really wouldn't know very well. i've only pierced my ears so far. but i had 11 holes. does that count? i wanna pierce my belly button. but i'm too lazy to take care of it. bah.)

hmm. must be the release of endorphins (is that what its called? i'm too lazy to check up on it lah.) or something liddat.

now, i am itching to get my third tattoo. i've always wanted an egyptian ankh, since ancient egypt and the like fascinate me to death.

a friend of mine actually designed a stylised ankh for me once. but he never got round to passing me the drawing. nabeh. maybe i should go ~~hunt him down~~ look for him.

failing which, i'm quite taken with this design.

nice or not? i love it!
and i'm probably gonna get it done on my left hip, just above the hip bone. or somewhere around there.

i can't decide, though, if i should :

(a) leave the colour as it is
(b) get a full black tattoo
(c) get the outline, but instead of red, just have some shading

how? what do you guys think? tell me tell me! any suggestions or comments would be plenty helpful. and if you guys have any nice stylo pictures of ankhs, i would definitely appreciate! :)

The Weekend Of Too Many Photos

2005-06-05T17:59:00.000+08:00

yeah, i got a little too trigger happy with my camera over the weekend. oh well. what to do? i'm a cam-whore. heh.

since i'm in a lazy mood (as always. since when am i NOT lazy?!) i shall just let post up as many photos of the weekend as i can.

warning : extremely graphic intensive! may take extremely long to load all photos!! have patience!!

FRIDAY - 3 JUNE 2005
a bunch of us went down to johnny two thumbs at far east cos scott was getting his tattoo and the rest of us wanted to ~~be kaypoh~~ watch. but never mind. i'm saving this for another post.

shh! do not disturb! pseudo tattoo artist at work!
after tattoos and dinner at burger king, we adjourned (minus scott, who was tired and went home) to peranakan place for the all important friday night activity - BOOZING! muahaha!

somewhere along the way we moved ourselves from the damn bloody hot alfresco place to ice cold beer where there was air-con and a pool table, and yet more BOOZING! heh.

beer is gooooood.. beer is our frieeeeend.. bow down to beer!

this is how they get the drinks from the 1st floor to the 2nd floor at Ice Cold Beer - medieval style! with bucket and brute strength. stylo, man. heh.

shilton and jenn - wayne's brother and sister in law - damn cool peoples.

me and jay

me and jon (aka squirrel aka ah-lon)

me and jenn

me and haresh

me, jon, wayne

me and the best friend, brandon (aka ah bee)

the cousins "ng" and me

me and wayne (aka my ah di)

the infamous pool-queue-board - someone wrote "Lim Lau Peh" (meaning "Your Father") and our dear jon went to write "is JON" at the bottom. so it reads "Your Father Is Jon". muahahaha!
** full photo album : TATTOOS & BEER - 030605 **

SATURDAY - 4 JUNE 2005
as usual, i slept the entire day away. met up with the hups gang at gardens for dinner / supper, then headed to cafe iguana at riverside point to meet kim, fique, kristian, and ash (and some others but i don't know their names. oops.)

the frozen mango margarita at iguana (they call it the macho frozen or something liddat.) is quite awesome. and its HUGE. and its $30. but after midnight you get 50% off, which means its $15. which means that i only had to pay $7.50 for sharing it with kristian. cheap booze. i like! heh.

trooped down to o bar (where else?! every weekend we always end up there.) turns out it was jeremy's birthday, so alot of people were already there. and jeremy was already drunk / sleeping by the time we got there at 1am (and he slept all the way till they woke him up at 4am to go home. power drunkard. heh.)

newton for supper, where we got FREE FOOD! woot! stingray and kangkong. awesome-ness.

the drunk / sleepy birthday boy - who was very "poor thing-ly" left in the corner to sleep it off, after puking 3 times.

boys and girls, see what happens when you get drunk? especially when you get drunk on your birthday and you fall asleep / pass out? thats right. you end up giving BJs. so don't let this happen to you! get drunk and GO HOME! don't fall asleep when your friends are still around!! especially if there's a camera around!

crazy boy-oes

crazy boy-oes and one crazy girlie

me and ash, who's back from melbourne

me and richie - cam-whore duo (and damn proud of it!)

kim, richie, me - part 1

kim, richie, me - part 2

amanda, richie, ash - awww, so sweet - group hug!

me and fique (who refuses to look directly at the camera)

me and kim (sober, for once!)

me and sukh (who's proving that he has way bigger eyes than me.)

ah yes. the infamous "up the bum-bum" shot. look how happy richie is at the thought. the guy in white was irritating. 'nuff said.

this is how you do "the chicken dance"- act like a chicken and peck peck peck!

the return of "doctor not-so-evil" from "austin flowers". he's also aquired an extra head somewhere along the way. hmm.

ash gets in touch with his feminine side after a few vodkas

crazy boy-oes plus one semi-awake, half-drunk birthday boy

** full photo album : O BAR - 040605 **

the quest for "The Thing" + some extra

2005-06-02T23:15:00.000+08:00

today, the best friend called just as i was leaving the office. so off i went to meet him for some shopping (well, more like window shopping or browsing lah).

the best friend was looking for something in particular. something female-oriented, to be specific. this was the quest for "The Thing"!

and since the best friend is male, and i am female, i graciously tagged along and offered my company, my expert knowledge, and my impecable taste. ha!

we visited many different shops within about an hour. we saw many different kinds of "The Thing".

i was made to try on many different "The Thing"s so he could see how it looked (actually, i also itchy backside want to try. heh.) i tried many different styles of "The Thing". some simple, some more elaborate. some very nice, some not so nice. but essentially, they were all the same "The Thing".

i tried and tried and tried so many "The Thing"s, that by the end of our little shopping escapade, i felt something was missing on me because i was not wearing "The Thing" anymore.

and also, trying on so many "The Thing"s and seeing how wonderfully nice "The Thing" looks on me, I ALSO WANT MY OWN "THE THING" LEH!

so, i came home and digged out my very own, but very old "The Thing". which is something like "The Thing" we were shopping for today, but not as nice.

now, i am wearing my own "The Thing" and i'm ~~happy~~ appeased. kinda. sorta.

but i still want a new, wonderfully nice "The Thing"! who wants to buy for me?! huh huh huh?! i saw one that i really really really absolutely love to death. and it looks perfect on me.

can someone please buy me "The Thing"? why no one buy me "The Thing"? i'm so sad. hmph.

oh. what's that? you want to know what exactly "The Thing" is? cannot tell you lah. it's a secret! shhhhh... you try and guess lah! let me see how smart you are. heh heh heh.

*****

in other news, i'm recovering pretty well from my horrible ~~life threatening~~ illness. feeling loads better, but still not 100% yet. thanks to everyone who sent "get well" messages! much appreciated. :)

the good news, is that the fever's gone down considerably. as has the shitty feeling. slowly getting my strength back. plus - i've lost weight! woohoo!

the bad news, is that i think my medicine gives me the, er.. runny shits. and that's a major bummer. not only is it foul tasting, it ends up foul smelling as well. yuck yuck yuck.

ok. you probably didn't need to know that much. oops. classic case of TMI (too much information). haha.

saturday - no alcohol
sunday - no alcohol
monday - no alcohol
tuesday - no alcohol

NA BEH! how to tahan?! i couldn't take it any longer last night, so i dragged myself down to o bar for a quick drink.

ugh. what a shock to my system! the first sip went straight to my brain. so woozy! i abandoned my precious jug of vodka ribena while it was still half full (what a sin! tsk. what the hell possessed me to do that. sigh. it is a SIN to waste ALCOHOL!) and left the club before 2am (much to the shock and amazement of many people. including the o bar staff, who are used to ~~having to chase me out~~ seeing me around all the way till lights come on.)

pathetic! i must recover fast and regain my drinking and dancing prowess! i feel so useless now.. bah.

*****

what a whirlwind of comings and goings!

STEPH has left for the grand old US of A (jersey) for 3 months. she's going back to the camp where she was a counsellor last year to, er, be a counsellor again. have fun, babe! you're so sporty and so "garang" lah, girl. superwoman steph! haha.

STACE is leaving for perth in like, 2 days? 1 day?! and its for good. whole family's already packed up and gone. sigh. why liddat?! hmph. take care of yourself, babe. i'm sorry if i don't manage to catch you before you leave, but i don't wanna pass you my germs before you have to leave! heh. do keep in touch. there's msn and email! we'll miss you :(

HAZE has gone MIA. supposedly, she's gone for a "holiday". but i don't know where to, and i have no idea when she'll be back. so. wherever you are, my dear meimei, please take care. i hope you enjoy yourself. and give me a call when you get back!

FIQUE has already been back a couple of weeks, and is busy working away. but he's leaving again mid july for melbourne for his last semester. hopefully, he'll be back end of the year. but one never knows, especially with someone like him. heh.

KUMAR is back from the UK, but only for a few weeks. 2? 3? i don't know. i don't think even he himself is sure how long he's gonna be staying. but its nice having him here. even if it's just for awhile.

SUE-LYNN, my sister in law and girlfriend to the best friend, is coming back from studying in brisbane for the hols end june. and staying a month. yay! i hope she brings me back a bronzed beach god hunk from brissy. yumyum! *drool* heh.

CLEMENT will be back from perth on the 26th of june (exactly on his birthday. die. must buy present. damn. :p), but only for 2 weeks. oh well. better than nothing. i just hope he actually does make it back this time. unlike chinese new year when he was supposed to fly back but didn't in the end.

hmm. people come. people go. and so the cycle of life keeps spinning. part and parcel, i guess.

but i still hate "goodbye"s.

sigh.

just shoot me

2005-05-30T20:45:00.000+08:00

i am so damn bloody sick i feel like just lying down and letting a big truck roll over me.

trust me. it would hurt less to be steamrolled-ala-cartoon-character than to live with this freakin horrendous illness.

ugh.

the good news, is that it's probably not dengue fever. although if the fever doesn't break in 3 days, then i'm gonna have to go get re-assessed.

the bad news, EVERY BLOODY GODDAMNED THING ELSE.

- fever (highest its peaked is 39.4 degrees. was 38.7 degrees at the doc yesterday. down to 38.3 degrees now.)
- cough (which feels like i'm freakin tryin to dislodge my bloody lungs. damn pain. and there's blood. crap shite.)
- flu (thank god my nose isn't running away. yet!)
- chills and cold sweats
- bodyaches
- general "weak" feeling
- headache
- asthma

KNNBCCB lah!

sheesh!

do you have any idea how difficult it is to be an alcoholic smoke-aholic with a preference for menthol ciggies and beer and vodka when you have freaking ASTHMA?!

its DAMN BLOODY DIFFCULT oh-kay!

menthol - cooling.
beer - cooling.
vodka - cooling.

so too much cooling becomes? asthma attack. na beh.

check out the amount of medication i have to pump into my long suffering reject-of-a-body.

cough mixture. antibiotic (oval yellow). fever and pain (freaking big-assed twin pink pills). flu (small yellow). asthma (inhaler). phlegm (huge white).

don't seem like much? IT IS, DAMMIT! and the doctor wanted to give me even more, but i ~~threatened to kick him in the balls~~ politely refused.

knn. my blood stream now got more drugs than a damn pharmaceutical factory. knn.

and the worst part. is that the medicine tastes LIKE CRAP. what is wrong with these people ah?! why must they make pills taste so crappy?! no wonder no one likes to take medicine when they're sick lah. even if you're not sick, the taste of the damn pills will make you sick also. why can't they make nice tasting medicine?! then people will enjoy it, and they will be more willing to eat, which translates to more sales for pharmaceutical companies, which means MORE MONEY for their already bulging pockets!

knn. stupid pharmaceutical companies.

the pink pills are horrendous. they get stuck in your throat cos they're so freaking big. and then it dissolves and you must live with that brief moment of excruciating yuckiness of tasting the medicine while you dash to down a glass of water in order to wash it down.

and must go through this process twice cos 2 pills! freaking 4 times a day! wah piang. can die. ugh.

and then, the huge-ass white tablet. must be dissolved in half cup water and then drink.

i wanted to take a photo of the tablet bubbling and dissolving, but i couldn't capture it clearly enough.
never trust things that bubble like a bloody hot spring in the lowest levels of hell!! (yes, it was really VERY bubbly.)

it tastes worse than shit! (of course, i don't really know what shit tastes like. so this is a theoretical hypothesis. if you wish it to be more realistic, kindly replace "shit" with the foulest thing you've ever had the misfortune to taste.)

the first thing that came to mind was "oh my god! i'm drinking diluted phlegm!" serious.

gross, right?!

piang. i nearly puked my guts out. but cannot. because then all the other medicine i already took will come out also. and that would be wasting all my efforts in forcing them down in the first place. besides. YOU THINK SEE DOCTOR AND TAKE MEDICINE VERY CHEAP ISSIT?! expensive oh-kay! cannot waste!

knn. bloody stupid pharmaceutical companies. make something that tastes like phlegm to cure phlegm. what you think, really fight fire with fire, issit?! dumb.

how is it supposed to make me feel better if it makes me feel like puking my bloody guts out?! please explain to me. i really do not get it.

knn.

ok. i'm tired now. enough ranting already. must take a nap to recharge batteries. goodnight, all!

2005-05-26T18:15:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JON the ah-lon squirrel!

i still can't believe you're a teacher, though. heh.

all hail the kings of europe!

2005-05-26T17:08:00.000+08:00

yes, i wore a red top to show my allegiance.
yes, i proclaimed we would be victors to all and sundry (and received plenty of snorts from disbelievers.)
yes, i panicked during the first half.
yes, i cursed and sweared a shitload.
yes, i never stopped believing in them.
yes, i nearly fainted with joy during the second half.
yes, i bit my nails anxiously during extra time.
yes, i got down on my hands and knees during the penalty shootout.
yes, i made the sign of the cross and i prayed.
yes, i nearly suffered a heart attack from the suspense.
yes, i screamed and whooped in jubilation at the end.
yes, i was jumping up and down and all around like a deranged monkey.
yes, i was grinning wider than the freaking cheshire cat.
yes, i cried (discreetly, of course. watching with a bunch of guys means they would have laughed their asses off at my display of emotions.)
yes, my heart swelled with immense pride and joy at the sight of stevie g lifting the cup.

yes. i am a happy happy camper today. because we did it. we actually did it.

defying all odds. staging the greatest comeback ever in the history of european cup finals. hell, the greatest comeback in the history of soccer!

hail STEVIE G - the most awesome captain, the driving force, the inspiration
hail JAMIE CARRAGHER - the under-rated but oh-so-spectacular
hail VLAD SMICER - who gave his all in possibly his last game for pool
hail XABI ALONSO - who had his penalty saved but had the prescence of mind to drive the rebound into the back of the net
hail DIDI HAMANN - who came on in the second half and whooped ass
hail RAFA BENITEZ - miracle performer and most freaking awesome coach
hail all the players - for working their butts off, for giving their all, and for never giving up

and most importantly,

hail JERZY DUDEK - goalkeeper extraordinaire and man of the hour

though this season has been full of cock-ups, you proved your mettle and played a vital part in one of our greatest victories ever.

from being "DUDUK one corner" (sit down one corner) in the first half, you produced some magnificent saves in the second half to prove why you are worthy of being liverpool's #1.

you danced and wiggled your way to be the king of the penalty box (even though you looked bloody ridiculous and completely retarded. but hey, whatever works!)

for your performance last night, i salute you.

i salute each and every one of you.

thank you for bringing the cup home.

thank you for giving me a night to remember.

we went to istanbul to kick ass, and boy, did we kick us some major ass. big time.

its been a long time coming, but we are truly the champions now. you'll never walk alone!
but dudes. what was up with riise's funky hat?!

we going to istanbul to conquer yo ass!

2005-05-25T22:47:00.000+08:00

a quick note before i pop out for my standard wednesday night boozing session. ladies night! free flows, come to mama! o bar, here comes the queen of alcoholism! woot!

*****

tonight's the night, ladies and gents! we shall royally whoop ass and leave destruction in our wake as we trash ac milan and lift the champions league trophy!

LIVERPOOL LIVERPOOL LIVERPOOL!

hopefully, the scene will be like this, and not the other way around.

start praying, all you reds fans. if not i'm gonna come over there and whoop yo ass so bad you gonna freakin fly to the moon. heh.

you'll never walk alone!

*****

right. my alcohol awaits! cya guys tomorrow, i'm outta here.

the requisite "star wars" post

2005-05-25T22:45:00.000+08:00

seems like almost every ah beng, ah seng and ah kow has done their posting on episode III. so now it's my turn to jump into the fray. eh, i also want to take part in the fun, cannot ah?

right then. a little late, but still, here goes - my take on REVENGE OF THE SITH.

WARNING : if you haven't watched the movie yet, and don't want me to spoil it for you, i suggest you skip this post till you have watched it. you'll probably be able to better appreciate my points as well after you've seen it for yourself.

----

kick ass, yoda does! and oh, how that little green "muppet" cracks me up. a classic example of "good things come in small packages", maybe? heh.

----

what was up with ewan mcgregor's acting, dudes?! yes, he did have some great scenes, especially the one on mustafar when he screams at anakin after cutting off his legs. that one was credible, at least.

but what about the scene when he plays back the battle in the jedi temple and sees anakin doing all those horrendous things?!

he had as much emotion in him as my soggy french fries have before i stuff them in my mouth - limp limp limp.

and i'm supposed to believe he's utterly devastated?! i actually physically cringed while watching that scene. horrendous, it was. shudder, i did!

and the saddest part is that i happen to think ewan mcgregor is a fairly impressive actor. i just don't know what the hell happened to him in this movie. methinks they're taking the whole ""a jedi shall not know anger. nor hatred. nor love." abit too far.

E.M. : "hmm. jedi cannot know anger. cannot know hatred. cannot know love. which means cannot show feelings. so must act like i'm a block of wood, even though i'm so devastated i want to slice myself in half with my uber cool lightsaber. ok lah. what to do. must be proper jedi, mah. time to put my "stoner" face on and talk in a monotone."

----

R2-D2 is THE droid of droids. that little white trash-can-on-wheels lookalike is some kinda freakin awesome COOL. smarter and more stylo than 3/4 of the entire jedi council put together (by this i mean excluding yoda, mace windu, obi-wan, and anakin)

now. if only i could understand what he's saying when he goes "beep beep beep beep beep". eh, hello, nowsadays got such thing as subtitles for a reason you know?! stop making me try to guess what the robot is saying! driving me bonkers!

all hail the new M.A.D. - MOST AWESOME DROID - of 2005, mr. R2-D2!!
----

none of the fight scenes took my breath away. oh, there was some good stuff, for sure. but just not good enough. the best lightsaber fight scene is still the darth maul / qui-gon jinn / obi-wan kenobi battle from episode I. nothing else comes close. how disappointing.

----

i dont care what anyone says - GENERAL GRIEVOUS IS LAME LAME LAME!

dude! come on! i was expectin grievious to be some kinda kickass villian, after all the hype.

but he's PATHETIC! he looks like a lanky, walking scrap pile that was hastily assembled by someone with a really bad hangover.

and he coughs. what kinda villian is he supposed to be?! maybe he's been smokin too much.

[edit : EYERIS points us to the animated series, clone wars for the answer to this, as well as a couple of other questions ROTS may have raised. read his post HERE.]

the only good thing was the 4 lightsaber wielding that he performed. and even that was shortlived because obi wan manages to chop off 2 of his pathetic robot arms (and he does it quite easily too. hmph.)

and someone PLEASE! tell me what was the end of that battle between obi wan and grievous all about?! grievous has a "heart" thingie and he's supposed to be some kick ass villian robot thingamajig, but all he has protecting this vital part of him is some lame assed pathetic metal covering that can be simply forced / peeled aside?!

if that is not utter stupidity, then i really don't know what is.

you see?! darth maul is so "fierce"! how to compare, general grievous?! no fight, man.

ok lah. i'll admit that grievous has a kinda cool "head" portion. but the rest of his body is still a pile of scrap metal.

----

anakin's crossover to the dark side was completely totally anti-climatic to the max! it just seemed.. so easy! somehow, i expected something more. something more dramatic. i feel let-down. damn.

----

the entire movie seemed.. messy. somehow. like they were tryin to answer too many questions and tie up all the loose ends while linkin everything to episode IV. it became a bit like one of those movies that throw too many things inside then become all jumbled up and "cha-pa-lang".

----

i've been wanting to say this for the longest time - count dooku is a cuckoo! isn't he supposed to be damn powder-ful? and yet he was defeated so easily by anakin. rubbish!

and why does he share the name of a FRUIT? methinks lucas is a closet singapore fan. how else do you explain "dooku" and of course, "mustafar"?! singapore tourism board should tie in with star wars to launch a campaign.

"visit the ORIGINAL MUSTAFA! we guarantee you'll pick up a lightsaber or two at cheap cheap prices!"

"calling all jedi knights! always wanted to bust a sith lord's ass but never had the chance? well, your prayers have been answered! come sink your teeth into our DUKU fruits! swing your mighty lightsabers at those puny fruits and have your revenge!"

the humble BUAH DUKU.
----

amidala is ugly in this movie. seriously. although in one scene she sports a hairstyle similar to princess leia's twin doughnuts.

and the dialogue for the love scenes was super C.O.R.N.Y. cannot tahan. they should get some korean dudes to write the lovey dovey parts for them. god knows them koreans are experts at mushy, weepy romance dialogue. look at all those korean dramas that have countless ~~aunties~~ females bawling their eyes out over them!

----

the mystery of amidala's disappearing pregnancy. one minute her stomach is bulging like nobody's business. the next minute it's bloody flat like a freakin airport runway. and don't tell me its all about the clothes disguising the bulge. KNN. if got clothes like that, i also want! then i don't have to worry about my burgeoning beer belly!

DETACHABLE PREGANANCY! BRAND NEW! INTRODUCTORY OFFER PRICE OF $99.99!

calling all women! suffer no more from those huge bulging tummies that prevent you from seeing your own feet! release yourself from all that weight that place enormous strain on your back and legs and bring you such grief and pain! only carry your babies when you want to! otherwise, just detach and throw one corner!

especially suitable for pregnant women who must travel all over the galaxy in search of their wayward husbands! no more inconvenience when you run here, run there!

----

i'm a wuss. i cried at star wars. who the hell cries durin star wars?!

i shall console myself by claiming to be "in touch with my emotions" and that i have "high empathy levels".

i'm so retarded, i swear. bah!

----

and of course. that darth vader scene towards the end. say it with me now, boys and girls - R.E.T.A.R.D.E.D.

what was REALLY going on in vader's mind during that fateful scene.
----

but after saying all this, i am still gonna watch it again. yes. i am such a star wars whore. besides, i'm female. its my god given right to bitch about things. its our consolation for having to put up with idiot males. heh.

all in all, the movie wasn't THAT bad. but the experience was bittersweet.

after waitin a lifetime for the films to come out, all the anticipation, all the hype, all the speculation - it has all ended. and there's no more to look forward to.

ah well. back to episode 4, 5, 6, we shall go. time for some REAL star wars. han solo, here i come!

----

POST NOTE :

mucho gracias to the el supremo of L.E.W.D. - his royal highness, adrian - for the awesome plug, and the compliments. i is be plenty many honoured.

in return, i present to you some funny shit to make you pee your pants with laughter - adrian's take on star wars. go read it. its freakin hilarious.

2005-05-25T22:30:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, VAL!

best wishes and all that jazz. hope you had a great day :)

2005-05-24T22:54:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOY!

have a good one, baby!

and remember that i love you and us two queens of bitch-dom are gonna conquer the world! heh heh heh.

2005-05-23T19:15:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STEPH!!

and also..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAMELZA!!

hope you 2 girls have a blast!

*****

more to come when i get back tonight. need to rush now. how to get ready in half an hour?! ack!

i "kenna" musical baton from makan guru

2005-05-22T17:43:00.000+08:00

Total volume of music files on my computer :
3.45GB - 699 files

The last CD I bought was :
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind OST

(wah piang. i can't even remember when was the last time i bought a cd for myself. yes it was THAT long ago. oops. so i play cheat abit. got this as a present for a friend, for christmas 2004. heh.)

Song playing right now :
My Chemical Romance - Helena

Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me :
1. Natalie - Going Crazy
2. Michael Buble - Home
3. Black Eyed Peas - Don't Phunk With My Heart
4. Rob Thomas - Lonely No More
5. Finch - Letters to You

Five people to whom I’m passing the baton:
Wayne
Steph
Eyeris
Stoned.Nerd
Adrian

sorry guys. please forgive me. heh.