My Name Is Eileen. I Am A Freakazoid. Hello.
... *poke* ... *sniff* ... *poke* ...
Wednesday, August 31, 2005


its nice to know that there are people who always got my back covered. and its a nice feeling, although slightly disconcerting, having personal bodyguards to ensure my "protection" against the "wolves" ever present in our local nightlife.

boyfriends come and go, but my boy-friends will always be there.

hell, yeah.

and how i love them for it.

the cousins foursome

drunkards anonymous



Friday, August 26, 2005

my newest pet

meet the newest addition to my humungous stable of furry lil animals!



his name is SMOOSH, and he's a beanie lion.

i love beanies! soft toys should all come with beans in their asses. it makes them so much nicer to play with, doncha think? not like those all-stuffing-and-no-beans wussy toys. the worst are those that don't even have proper "fur" coats. its just plain silly, methinks.


my precious lil SMOOSH is a present from DOOFUS. we were out one night, trying to get mayonnaise to make egg mayo sandwiches, but try as we might, we just couldn't find any mayo! we tried petrol stations, 7-11s, and cheers - NO MAYO.

goddamn it all! why is mayo so bloody hard to find?! the only thing harder to find than mayo, is ribena syrup in bottles. what is up with that?! utter stupidity.

so DOOFUS popped into cheers, and couldn't find mayo, but found SMOOSH instead. the silliest part was he tried to hide it from me by sticking it in his shirt, but i saw him. oops.

but being the wonderful person i am, of course i kept my mouth shut and pretended to know nothing, and i acted all suprised when DOOFUS finally produced SMOOSH. heh.

DOOFUS is such a sweetheart. a sweetheart that pisses me off a helluva lot, but still a sweetheart.

i have also learnt an important lesson from this episode - NEVER LET DOOFUS PICK NAMES!

he's terrible! SMOOSH got his name because DOOFUS was "smooshing" (akin to spreading) tuna on bread to make sandwiches at the time of name picking. and then the next morning, DOOFUS complains that SMOOSH is too cutesy a name, and wants to rename my lil lion. ack.

sigh. DOOFUS is a doofus.

but i think we'll just stick with SMOOSH, eh? horrified as i was originally, i must say the name kinda grows on you after awhile. after all, it IS a cute name, and its way more original than "teddy" or "fido" or "lion" or whatever.

SMOOSH is such a cute lil thing, isn't he? awwwwwwww..

Tuesday, August 23, 2005


last week, my thighs hurt. this week, my lower back hurts. wtf. and i have a major ass sore throat/cough/flu. bummer me.

i think all this clubbing is starting to get to me in my "old age". ack.

my usually sedate, chill-at-coffeeshop, non-clubbing friends have suddenly morphed into a bunch of clubbing crazy, alcohol guzzling, female lusting fiends.

how scary. what is this world coming to?! must be something weird and strange in the air around singapore these days.

i cannot decide if i should be amused at their crazy antics, or be appalled at their, er, "crazy" antics. heh.

ah well, at least we can all finally go dancing and drinking together, instead of bumming our nights away at our friendly neighbourhood coffeeshop.

i wonder how long this "clubbing fanatical" phase will last. hmm.

we hit CAFE IGUANA at riverside point for mexican food and margaritas. the bill came up to a staggering $250 for 12 peoples. considering that some of us didn't eat, and some didn't indulge in alcohol, it was kinda expensive, especially for a cheapass like me. thank god for good old mcdonalds and cheap fast food. heh. but there was SO MUCH FOOD! goodness.


across the river we proceeded, to CRAZY ELEPHANT for beer and the band.

wayne's new love interest

i popped over to MOX at tanjong pagar to catch eugene stroll the catwalk for his fashion show. well, at least the intention was to watch. eventually, ended up catching only the very last "stroll" - the underwear portion. oops.

free jug of vodka redbull procurred for me by eugene was killer strong. i nearly fainted when i took my first sip. phwoar. but i like. heh.



i don't particularly like MOX. the place itself is really nice. great decor, great atmosphere. but the PEOPLE. another story. y'see, MOX is a kinda "alternative lifestyle" joint, if you get my drift.

i have nothing against "alternatives". on the contrary. i think they're pretty much great people.

i just feel damn uncomfortable (and a lil bit pissed off) that i was surrounded by absolutely gorgeous male specimens, but they were all UNTOUCHABLE and UNATTAINABLE! argh! utterly devastating, i tell you. so sad. sigh.

dancing at LIQUIDROOM thereafter left me extremely hot and sticky. and so many people! ack. pushpushshoveshove. bumpbumpgrindgrind. twisttwistwigglewiggle. hothothot!





spastic-ism rules!


tsk. such a "player", this boy. tsk.

and the hullaballoo after clubbing is always such a pain. everyone sits around, talking, waiting, trying to make further plans, cannot decide, getting cranky, frustration, tiredness. ugh. i just don't get why people can't simply decide "what next" and then just get up and go. and just get a phone number if you wanna talk somemore lah! sheesh. drunken people. pfft.

when all else fails and you have nothing to do, take peekture!

wasted trip to INDOCHINE at wisma (bah) which led to supper at NEWTON, and i finally got to sleep at 7+ in the morning after spending some time with the DOOFUS.

bloody hell. i need to regulate my damn sleeping hours. ugh.

** le PHOTO de ALBUM **

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

saturday the 13th

fuck. its been 3 days and my thighs still hurt like a bitch. i can't even sit down without feeling the strain.

on the bright side, i think i've developed quite powerful leg muscles. really. i can feel it.

vigorous dancing to hiphop and being on your feet for 4 hours straight is a killer.

damn. i think this may be a sign that i really am getting abit too old for all this clubbing and dancing and general debauchery shite.

woe is me and my aching, creaky, fragile old bones!

whoever says that i do not exercise is obviously deluded and completely wrong, for once - i DO exercise. i DANCE. and lemme tell all youse punks out there, that the question of whether a more strenuous activity than dancing exists in this world.. well, the answer, according to my superior expertise, is HELL NO.

so for all of youse that wanna drop the pounds, go crash some club and wiggle your butt like a lunatic having fits. the harder you jerk about and gyrate, the more calories you burn. oh, and another word of caution, go slow on the beer, fools. it ruins the effort you put into dancing.

stick to the hard liquor. forgo the devil-in-disguise mixers if you can help it, too. do you have any idea how many calories there are in coke/sprite/ribena/etc?! the best solution? just grab shots of tequila/vodka/sambuca/etc. less calories, and so much more efficient in attaining drunken-ness. geddit?


11 of us went for this by-invitation-only shindig - free entry, free food, free booze! awesome! pity about the music though. it was a little too slow and too relaxed. ah well.

IMG_3514-edit IMG_3516-edit
for a party organised by a tattoo joint, the invites were definitely amusing. looks more like invites to a kid's birthday party, don't it? and they used the DISNEY font. how shocking..

pigging out - the food was good, seeing as it was supplied by hard rock. it was the first time i've seen entire burgers set out in a tray, buffet style. hmm.

IMG_3557-edit IMG_3560-edit
we got free tshirts too. how cool is that?! super limited edition and in limited stock. late comers didn't get any though, since they ran out. lesson learnt? always be early to grab the goodie bags. its good shit! heh.

popped down to o bar for awhile, cos the music at hard rock was making me mega sleepy. got happily high, then joined the rest at cocolatte to dance the night away.

the only photo i look reasonably presentable in. the rest all look like shit. bah. sweaty, dishevelled people do not make good photography subjects. *grumble*


little drummer boy genius

if any of you happen to pass by paragon on weekends and spot this adorable little musician playing, do stop and listen.

he's FANTABULOUS to the max! and he's soooooo CUTE!

his name is ethan, and he's only 6 years old, but he bangs those drums like a pro, i swear. he's been playing drums since the age of 2! good lord. what a little genius..

Thursday, August 11, 2005

the QUEEN of C.A.D.aospF

well, i'm finally back.

have been too tired and too lazy and too brain-dead and too busy to post recently.

ah well.

i got my first payment for that data entry slavery i've been helping my mum with.

its CRAP.

$190+ for 1282 names.

do you have ANY idea how tedious it is to type 1282 entries?! its exhausting. its time consuming. its absolutely crap shite.

and at the end of it all, i just wanna chuck my entire computer out the window. i don't even wanna look at the damn monitor anymore. so you can see why i haven't exactly been in the mood to blog. ugh.

still, money is money. i suppose. whatever.

at least the thought of the amount of alcohol and cigarettes i can stuff myself with using this cash cheers me up some. heh.

i have miraculously evolved into a HUMAN SLEEP MACHINE.

yes, i have achieved incredible heights of mutation.

i blame the radiation from the damn computer. all that time spent pounding away at the bloody keyboard, staring into the idiot monitor.. BAH.


i managed to escape from my evil, wicked slave driver mother and the slavery of data entry get out of the house for a bit of long overdue rest and relaxation on national day eve.

ended up club hopping the night away, and i now present you with my EXPERT OPINION - in my capacity as the QUEEN of clubbing and alcohol-ism and debauchery and all other senseless pursuits of fun - on the places i honoured with my graceful presence this wondrous monday night, with a couple of my faithful fawning, completely-in-awe-of-me subjects friends.


i detest momo. it sucks majorly big fat arse. the music sucks. the crowd sucks. the atmosphere sucks.

i will stab myself in the heart with a plastic fork, rather than step foot in that horrendous place, ever again.

just the mere mention of "club momo" is enough to get me frothing at the mouth and turn into a savage, psychotic lunatic.

yes, it is THAT bad.

but hey, you know what, if you choose not to believe me - the QUEEN of clubbing and alcohol-ism and debauchery and all other senseless pursuits of fun - you can jolly well go and find out for yourself.

you might like it. to each his own, after all.

but if you DO end up liking momo, please, do yourself a favour and throw yourself off the nearest building, thanks.

or i may end up stabbing you in the eyes with my trusty plastic fork, for having the brainless audacity and utter stupidity to disagree with me.

my word is LAW. after all, i am THE QUEEN of clubbing and alcohol-ism and debauchery and all other senseless pursuits of fun.


ah, my homeground. sweet, sweet liquidroom. such a wondrous, enchanting, awesome-to-the-power-of-infinity place to behold.

i like liquidroom.

it is small, cosy, and just generally all-round kick ass.

i detest big clubs.

liquid plays good music. liquid has powerful fancy lighting. liquid has a comfortable, cosy atmosphere. liquid has a friendly crowd. liquid has a dance floor for those that wanna boogey in the limelight. liquid has corners for those that prefer to imbibe alcohol and watch the action from the sidelines.

liquidroom is also one of the best places to pick up members of the opposite sex. seriously. trust me on this. i speak from many experiences - my personal brushes and those of my companions.

oh, and also, i have the liquidroom ladies card. HA!

some people find liquid too small, or too noisy, or too whatever.

i say, its precisely because of its relative tiny-ness, as compared to bigger dance clubs, that gives liquidroom that extra edge.

i love the cosiness of it all. it rocks my ding dongs. heh. besides, liquidroom is one of the few clubs that play decent trance music.

those of you that don't agree with me, once again, i must warn you that my plastic fork has been skillfuly sharpened. i am also quite adept in shoving my plastic fork into various body parts.

that said, liquid on monday night wasn't the normal fantabulous scene, especially not for a SLINKY gig. music was abit off, though still good, and still loads much better than some of the crap they spin at other places.


another small, cosy place that quite appeals to me.

a word of caution though - do NOT attempt the second floor, which is the dance floor area, if you are claustrophobic.

in fact, do NOT even think of venturing upstairs if you have crowd-o-phobia, people-o-phobia, heat-o-phobia, jampackedalltogether-o-phobia.

it was madness. so many people, all squashed together in some a tiny area. and we were all dripping with perspiration after barely 15min of dancing. stifling heat.

but good fun. pretty alright crowd. good music, especially if you're into grinding to r&b and hiphop and the like.

oh, another word of caution - do NOT even ENTERTAIN the thought of heading to cocolatte, especially on a weekend night, if you have an aversion to young teenage kids.

the place was swarming with them. itty bitty lil things, running around, getting drunk, bobbing up and down..

yes. the QUEEN of clubbing and alcohol-ism and debauchery and all other senseless pursuits of fun has spoken.

and now, back to my life of slavery.

ah, the perils of doing battle with those blasted data entry excel files. i am off to wage war, once again!


Monday, August 01, 2005


DOOFUS finally admitted that he doesn't really like me going out clubbing without him.

HA! i knew it! i'm such an intuitive genius, i am. *smirk*


it seems like everytime i see josh, he tells me i smell nice.

"hey, what shampoo do you use?"
"i dunno. something that's in my bathroom. why?"
"it smells nice!" *josh displays 2 thumbs up*

"hey, what perfume are you wearing?"
"erm.. gucci.. envy.."
"it smells nice!" *josh displays 2 thumbs up*

josh, josh, josh. you're such a silly boy. and what amazing sense of smell you have! all the better to smell me with? muahaha ;)


i've been so busy lately helping my mum with all the data entry shite.

i've burnt 2 weekends and countless weekday nights already. precious time that i could have spent clubbing, drinking, smoking, bumming, watching tv, watching dvds, reading, sleeping, talking cock, blogging, surfing the net, engaging in horizontal exercises exercising..

and then when i'm done for the day, i'm so freaking brain dead and zoned out and tired and moody and cranky, that i don't feel like doing anything else except vegetate and sleep.

UGH. gimme my life back!

i enjoy spacing out in front of my computer, don't get me wrong. i just detest having to WORK in front of a computer.

and the pay is freaking one-kinda bloody miserable - 15 cents for each entry. rubbish!

even peanuts are worth more. *grumble*

ah well. i shall cease my complaining. as some would say - its better than nothing! yeah yeah yeah. whatever. pfft.

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