My Name Is Eileen. I Am A Freakazoid. Hello.
... *poke* ... *sniff* ... *poke* ...
Thursday, July 28, 2005

feel.. like.. s-h-i-t-e

adrian / faith / gerald / KM :

i'm sorry for the delay in getting the photos to you guys.

i actually created a ZIP file of the full set of photos last night, but the damn file is still so freaking huge that my gmail keeps timing out when i tried to email it. gah!

i'll get it done tonight, once i get home from work and manage to break down the file into smaller portions.

alternatively, the full set of pics is online - in my yahoo photo album (link's in the sidebar) so you can go check it out there first.

*****

i am so goddamned tired and zoned out that i :

a) poked myself in the eye while trying to scratch the bridge of my nose

b) banged my toes against the wall while trying to slip on my sandals

c) almost fell off the chair when i tried to sit down, missed the seat and the chair went spiralling across the office

d) went to the toilet to sneak a cigarette and actually fell asleep while smoking

e) cursed loudly at the photocopy machine because i thought it was screwing up when i tried to make copies of documents and i kept getting blank printouts - when the real problem was that i had forgotten to actually insert the documents in the first place

and to make things worse, when i get home tonight after work, i still have to slog away doing some data entry for my mother.

i badly need sleep. i'm seriously surving on cigarettes and coca-cola.

coffee is no good. once the coffee-high wears off, i feel even more tired than before.

i'm going to bang myself against the wall and hope i faint so that i can get sent home which will allow me to get a bit of sleep before my slave driver mother comes home from work and starts cracking her whip at me in demand that i complete the data entry.

god, please let me survive today..


Wednesday, July 27, 2005

birthday party madness

last night, a bunch of us - donaq / adrian , keng meng , fayeth / faith , suspicious bastard / chew , me - went down to lollipop at outram to celebrate injenue / gerald's birthday, together with a bunch of his friends and icebreeze / joel.

only one word can describe the scene : RIOT

one would have thought that we were at a disco or something, instead of a little private room with about 20 or so people - the noise was deafening!

it was a huge bundle of fun, and many laughs - especially at the antics of the drunken birthday boy.

i'm abit lazy due to lack of sleep (see lah! party until so late last night lah!), and i'm hungry, and my chinese-fishball-factory-drama is starting soon, so i shall just let the pictures speak for themselves. heh.

WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER GET DRUNK ON YOUR BIRTHDAY WHEN THERE IS A CAMERA IN THE AREA TO CAPTURE INCRIMINATING EVIDENCE

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7 deadly shots (including 1 tabasco sauce) with 25 seconds (25th birthday mah) that effectively killed the birthday boy by 11pm

SECTION 1 : WHAT REALLY GOES ON IN A KTV

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women also want, men also want.. jialat..
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when drunk, gender obviously doesn't matter so much anymore.

SECTION 2 : DANCING QUEEN KING

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yes, that is a bartop. yes, that is the very gay-bait el supremo of LEWD, adrian.

SECTION 3 : GOD(S) OF SONGS & BURST EARDRUMS

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now i know why some people say karaoke is one of singaporean's favourite activities. and i know why singaporeans all slowly going deaf. muahaha!

joking lah. the singing was quite alright. no glass/windows/spectacles broke (except for the ones gerald "dropped" on the floor. heh.)

SECTION 4 : 2 IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN 1

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why hug just 1, when you can "zhuo you yong bao" - left right hug?

if the men can do it, so can women. heh.

SECTION 5 : ALWAYS TAKE AT LEAST SOME PROPER PHOTOS

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chew & gerald ; me & gerald
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joel & gerald ; faith & gerald
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gerald & keng meng ; me & adrian
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faith & me ; adrian & gerald
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gerald & faith (awwwww.... haha!)

SECTION 6 : ALWAYS HAVE THE CAMERA READY FOR UNEXPECTED SHOTS

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check out the look on gerald's face, when his friend suddenly leapt onto his back. i feel his pain. heh.

notice joel's happiness at his brother's brief agony. muahahaha!

SECTION 7 : BEER IS GOOD

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YAAAAAAAAAAM SEEEEEEENG!

adrian likes his alcohol. even though it makes him look like a close relative of the lobsters and crabs. heh.

SECTION 8 : BONUS!!

MUSIC VIDEO SINGAPORE STYLE
starring : the fabulous, most powerful actor - gerald!

warning - its a large file (about 37MB) so be patient!


Tuesday, July 26, 2005

drips and drabs

i have a few posts currenting rotting in my drafts folder, waiting for me to edit them and post them up to bask in the glory of cyberspace.

but.

i am too lazy. blame the weather. all i feel like doing is bumming in bed and watching tv and reading blogs and just generally, being a SLACKER PRO.

for today, amuse yourselves with these.

*****

i came across this name the other day :

BOH PANG JEK

forgive me for being so amused, but it just sounds like "not punctured" in hokkien. heh.

*****

eileen david, Your ideal job is a Church Minister.

eileen, Your ideal job is a Pole Dancer.

JOB PREDICTOR


what a difference! and church minister?! boy oh boy have they got their facts WRONG! bwahahaha!

*****

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FACE ANALYZER

HAHAHAHAHA! i'm EURPOEAN! and middle eastern?! and my celeb match is COCO LEE?! *rolls on the floor with laughter*

well, at least they got the intelligence part correct. heh. *smirk*


*****

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

GET TO KNOW YOURSELF BETTER




HAPPY BIRTHDAY, INJENUE!

sorry ah, this year got no lesbian porn to show you for your birthday.

next time, ok?

bwahahaha!


Monday, July 25, 2005

shoe meme

i got tagged by jaywalk to do the newest meme thats floating around cyberspace.

because i'm bored, and because doing this meme gives me a reason to get off my lazy fat arse and pack my shoes, and because jaywalk bribed me (haha!) - i present THE SHOE MEME!

shoes!Total Number of Shoes you own:

1 - slippers - in office
2 - slippers - outside house
1 - slippers - DOOFUS place

12 - flat slippers/sandals
6 - sandals with slight heels
9 - heels/wedges
1 - sneakers

====
32 pairs

holy crap! i never knew i had that many shoes! and to think, i just threw out about another 20 pairs recently. madness!

and yes, as you can see, i don't like covered shoes (or as my mother calls them - proper shoes) my toes need to BREATHE! heh.

The last shoe you bought:

a black pair of wedges/heels from some no-name shop in KL last year.

pink toes
just for fun - my toes with cool hot pink nail polish!

i know i have weird looking feet/toes. just shut up already, ok? *grumble*


fake-o slippersHow many shoes do you have underneath your work desk:

1 pair of blue FAKE coca-cola slippers


that i've never worn, because my office cannot wear shoe inside.

and the floor is not carpeted somemore! damn bloody cold. rubbish. bah.

you see! the slippers still got the tag, ok..


Five people to whom I'm passing this baton:

EVERYONE THAT READS THIS POST! ha! easy way out. no need to name people. heh. no lah. whoever wants to do, go ahead. no obligations!



Saturday, July 23, 2005

musings

last night was a time of stunning revelations, shocks, heartfelt chats, reminiscing, advice dishing, philosophical waxings, and apologies.


i am smart. i make sense. i want to be a psychiatrist.


i revealed a secret to a certain someone.
a secret that i have kept from that certain someone for the past 1.5 years.
a secret i swore never to tell that certain someone.

sure, its a common secret - a few of my close friends know of it.

but the main person involved has had absolutely no idea all this while.

why did i keep this secret for so long? and why did i hide it from the one person that - as some would put it - had the most right and reason to know?

because of a lot of factors.


the situation at the time.
the circumstances.
the possible consequences.

i didn't want any awkwardness.
i didn't want any guiltiness.
i didn't want any sour feelings.
i didn't want any sadness.

i didn't want things to happen for the wrong reasons.

and then, as time went on, i just didn't see the need to reveal my secret anymore.

it doesn't matter, it didn't matter - not anymore. it really doesn't.

perhaps this is my closure, finally. after such a long journey. a journey that perhaps, had never really ended. not until now.




i guess you could say we've come full circle. the years have past, things have changed.

you will always be special to me, and i will always have a soft spot for you.

thank you for all the memories, and thank you for sticking around.


*****

lately, DOOFUS has been complaining that i've been moody/cranky/always showing him black him/always giving him one kind of fucked up attitude..

i don't know why. i don't know what's wrong with me.

i know that i DO miss him, and he does make me happy - happier than i've been in a long time - even though he majorly pisses me off sometimes.

extreme mood swings - i can be so happy one minute, but the next i'm the freaking bitch from hell with a huge durian up my ass.

i'm always trying to pick fights with him.
i'm always acting all mopey and sad and depressed around him.
i always steer the conversation topics to issues that will piss him off, just so i can get a reaction from him.

and even though he always tries to cheer me up,
even though he always tries to put up with me,
even though he always makes the first move to make up,
even though he always tries to give in to me,
even though he always tries to pacify me,

i still insist on remaining a stubborn bitch and unwilling to give in - even though every braincell and every fibre in my body and every feeling in my heart and every instinct in my gut is screaming at me to JUST LET IT GO and to STOP ACTING LIKE A FREAKING SPOILT BRAT.

i know that its starting to put a strain on things, and i realise that he's gonna run out of patience sooner or later.

but i just keep doing it.

i don't know.

i've been under a lot of stress lately, and a lot of stuff have been an enormous strain on me, personally and individually. all these problems are starting to erode the happiness in me. its slowly robbing me of joyfulness. its eating away, bit by bit, at my soul.

i don't know if i'm strong enough to withstand the pressure.


as it is, all this stress is making me go completely wonky. which is probably why i've been taking it out on DOOFUS.

what was that they always say - that you always end up hurting the people you love the most?

something like that. something about how "the people you are closest to always bear the brunt of your shite".

am i making excuses for my behaviour?

i have no idea, honestly. maybe i am, maybe i'm not. but it is the honest to god truth that i HAVE been under enormous stress lately, and all the problems just keep popping up and piling up.

i'm running out of room to breathe.


a friend remarked that i'm "happy insane". well, if this carries on for much longer, i'm just gonna be plain "insane insane". no more happy.

what the hell is wrong with me?!

maybe i've just been so unhappy in the past, that i don't know how to be happy anymore.


its like, i feel more... comfortable? when there's drama in my life..

i am so weird.

crap. well, now you know why my blog url is "sadomasochisticme" - because i like to inflict pain on myself, and others (specifically, the people that i love. but its not intentional, i swear!)

maybe i'm really going through depression again.
maybe its the weather.
maybe its my slightly irritating mild flu.
maybe i just think too much.
maybe i have serious issues.
maybe i should see a shrink.
maybe i just need to go out and get pissed drunk.
maybe its just PMS.

but you know what? i deserve to be happy.

so i'm gonna make a conscious effort.

stop acting like a moody, cranky bitch.
stop acting like a spoilt brat.

start appreciating the little blessings that i have in my life.

i'll try my best to be good. i promise.

if not for myself, then at least for you.

you, who has been so patient and so forgiving.
you, who has been my bright spark in the darkness.
you, who deserves to be happy too.


Thursday, July 21, 2005

i am a criminal - arrest me!

eileen_wanted

this one was very kindly made for me by minority man, in reference to my recent very-evil-crime.

thanks again, minority man!

and then, i was bored and decided to make some for myself.

wanted-goddess

yes, i am so full of myself. but i speak the truth!

eh, if no one is gonna stroke my ego, i damn well am gonna do it myself! bwahaha!

wanted-insanity

and this one accurately portrays me, and everything i stand for.

i am mad. i am cuckoo. i am insane. but i have fun. so sue me. pfft.

this is so fun! heh.

now all of youse better go try it yourself, and show me what you create.

FASTER GO AND DO IT NOW!

WANTED POSTER GENERATOR

via lancerlord and evan.



cyber terrorism?

i found out today that xiaxue and anna's blogs got hacked into. the word is that all xiaxue's blogs and entries were erased, and her gmail account also got hacked, and all her emails erased.

as far as i know, anna's blog is back up now, although it was offline for awhile. and earlier today, when i first surfed over, there was a "message" from the hacker, in the form of a blog post.


not liking someone is one thing.
not agreeing with someone is one thing.

being outright malicious is another completely different issue altogether.

no matter what it is - whatever you may think he or she deserves - doing something like this is just going too far.

its just wrong.

imagine if someone did the same thing to you. erased all your memories. deleted important information you kept in your email account. burnt your diary. eradicated all the effort you put into something over a span of years.

cannot fathom how it feels like?

ok. then how about - the feeling you get when your computer crashes and your hard drive is erased?

did i hear vulgarities and cursing and swearing and death threats and frustration and anger and sadness? do i spot a few tears at the loss of precious files and data?

yup. you got that right.

maybe hacking into blogs and emails and deleting everything isn't as bad as crashing your entire PC. but then again, its all subjective, isn't it?

one person may think that its no big deal. but for the people involved, it may be the biggest deal - because of what their blog and their emails contain. because of the time and effort they spent. because of the sheer helplessness of the situation.

ah well. i shall not go on any further. suffice to say, i feel their pain and i hope they manage to get back on their feet.

anyhow.

i was so freaked out that i went into a password changing frenzy.

even though i'm not even remotely high profile or famous - but be kiasu/kaisi abit, just in case (touch wood!)

logged into my blogger account, my msn account, my gmail account, my yahoo mail account, even my neopets account!

changed all the passwords.

now, i just hope i can remember the new password.

KNN.

having a brain like a sieve, in conjuction with selective memory, is such a pain in the arse.

i have good memory. its just selective. and it works best on retaining useless information. and it likes to go on self-declared holiday every once in awhile.

KNN. rubbish brain.


Tuesday, July 19, 2005

we painted the town in bright neon colours

WARNING!

majorly enormous photo post alert!

my apologies, especially to those on slow connections.

*****

15th july 2005

friday night out on the town.

the day i maxed out my 128MB-130-photo-capacity memory card and overworked my poor slave of a digital camera.

---

special of the night

DOOFUS
"hijacked" a red rose in full bloom for me, from a table bouquet at one of the roadside food stalls along clarke quay. i think the people at the stall were too stunned to protest when DOOFUS went up to them and said "don't mind, i take one ah!" and then just plucked a rose.

poor things. their table bouquet became lopsided and not balanced already, thanks to DOOFUS. but i'm not complainin - DOOFUS is a sweetie pie.

but the real question here! is what is a beautifully arranged table bouquet of red roses doing in the middle of a roadside food stall?!

*****

CRAZY ELEPHANT @ CLARKE QUAY

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wayne enjoys getting things stuffed into his mouth by members of the male species.

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"how big is yours? this big?"
"wait. i go and measure first."

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le best friend / brother with le sister-in-law

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haresh & his friend - who's secret desire is to be a toothpaste advertisement model.

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jon in his starring role as "the happy squirrel"!

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part of the band that plays at crazy elephant

the chinese dude is AWESOME SHITE! and the drummer's kinda cute (as my MALE best friend puts it, he's "cute.. look abit like simon yam".)

but me and sue were droolin over the guest drummer - some brazilian guy that looks like kaka the soccer player - cute and his hands move reeeaaal fast (fast is goooood! bwahahaha!)

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food! - naan bread and chicken curry/dhal - cooked and supplied by the DOOFUS. t'was damn goooood. *slurp*

*****

i popped over to GOTHAM PENTHOUSE @ CLARKE QUAY to take advantage of their free-flow-vodka-for-ladies-till-1am. free booze! yay! heh.

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ryan & luke - but of real importance in this photo is the alcohol on the table that is hidden behind them!

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richie : the mexican dancing senorita-man - with special appearance by "eileen's rose"

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luke & richie play it real cool

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me & richie - with cameo appearance by "pop-up-luke" - and i look kinda retarded in this photo. bah.

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the biscuits in the oreo cookies favourite pastime is disturbing the creamy filling stuck in between them

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"aye carumba! you are so sexxxay. do you think i'm sexxxay too? hmm? do you like my rose? marry me, now!"
"dude! get away from me!"

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me & ryan - with his trademark smile

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richie & ryan are overjoyed at becoming joined-at-the-hip siamese twins

"eh, we got 2 bodies, we got 2 legs! yay!"

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me & luke - with cameo appearance by "cheesy grin"

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ryan gets in touch with his *cough*sensitive*cough* side while modelling the lastest handbag style

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surrounded by the young boys

*****

back to CRAZY ELEPHANT @ CLARKE QUAY

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brandon the best friend displays his vast array of "kawaii neh!" poses

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the tale of : scotty & keshia & "eileen's rose" & a "reserved" sign

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sue-lynn the sister-in-law & me & keshia break out the smilies

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me & wayne - black and white mamas

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me & shilton - in one of the rare photos where he's not makin a face at the camera

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me & scotty boy strike a pose

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ernest & friend get in the act too

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one for the "best friends" album

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trev & sue-lynn say "cheeeeeeese"

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my favourite friends make a brief appearance - before disappearing down people's throats

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the semi-group photo

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boys and girls, its time to play : guess the mystery man!

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scott smiles as wayne enjoys getting his ear licked by brandon - cameo appearance by "shilton's middle finger"

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the best friends share the "lurve"

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the brothers NG + the cousin NG + the other cousin + the 2 adopted NGs - i have no idea why both the brothers NG are opening their mouths so damn wide. hmm.

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wayne contemplates running away to jamaica with the colourul headgear in tow

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scott wants to bang the drums and rule the world - but first he must learn how to play those damn drums.

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the group photo that features most of us that were at crazy elephant

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ok. this just looks WRONG! and don't ask me what they're doing. i have absolutely no clue!

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me, brandon & jon attempt to get in tough with our "hiphop-ness" but end up displaying "retarded-ness"

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scott : "do you like my long, silky hair?"
wayne : "oooh! can i touch?"
vic : "dudes! gimme my hair back!"
shilton : "crazy kooks. haha!"

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me & eugene - the little drummer boy

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family portrait - brothers NG #1 + brothers NG #2 + cousin

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me & keshia with our coordinated hair partings - one go left, one go right

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me & the sister-in-law display our cheekbones

*****

of course, O BAR @ MOHD SULTAN has to come in somewhere..

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i wonder why is sukh staring, so intrigued, in that direction

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me & jem - i stole jem's lucky lighter and the very next day he ran into bad luck. oops! but you still ain't gettin it back, jem! ha!

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the "let's block eileen out of this shot" sandwich

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the poor waiterwas accosted and had to run away to avoid being kissed - also known as "alcohol makes you do crazy things"

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remember "eileen's rose" from the earlier photos?

well, by the end of the night, this was all that remained of it.

kena overworked until it cannot take it anymore and literally falls apart. *sobsob*

*****

alcohol, good music, dancing, friends, and laughs make THE EILEEN happy.


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