Sunday, May 15, 2005
did i ever tell you...
that i bloody HATE it when TISSUE PAPER gets into the laundry, and you don't realise it till everything is done, and you open the washing machine lid, pull everything out to hang dry, and you see that EVERYTHING HAS BITS OF FREAKIN WHITE FUZZY BITS OF I-DUNNO-WHAT-YOU-CALL-IT (lint?! fluff?! devil's sperm??!!) STUCK ALL OVER THEM!!
and its so damn difficult to remove from the damn clothes too!
i tell you, those cursed white "thingamajigs" are like those lalang plants (are they called lalangs? i can't remember. its been so long since primary school! how am i supposed to remember EVERYTHING they taught us?! angsana, flame of the forest, pods, dispersion, blah blah blah..) - the ones with hooks, and they hook themselves onto your clothes / socks / leg hair and make use of you to carry their "seeds" around in the name of dispersion.
and why can't people EMPTY THEIR DAMN POCKETS before dumpin their clothes in the wash?!
why why why?! is it so difficult?! just stick your damn hand in their and pull whatever's in there OUT! one swift motion! granted, you may have to repeat dependin on the number of pockets on the outfit, but it is still MUCH LESS WORK THAN TRYIN TO BLOODY REMOVE WHITE FLUFF THAT CLINGS ONTO YOUR CLOTHES WITH THE KIND OF STUBBORNESS AND VENGEANCE AKIN TO A MONEY GRUBBIN BIMBO CLINGIN ONTO A MULTI MILLIONAIRE BOZO!
i do not deserve this kinda rude shock, i tell you. i nearly had a heart attack. at least, if the washin load had been WHITES, it wouldn't have been nearly as bad (hell, i probably wouldn't even have noticed white fluff on white clothes! they'd just seem.. fuzzier, somehow.)
BUT it was a freakin FULL LOAD of COLOURED clothes!
i'm gonna cry.
after i finish feelin sorry for myself, i shall attempt to get myself intimately reaquainted with "white thingamajig removal techniques".
i am gonna hunt down the supreme idiot who perpetrated this horrific crime, and tie him, butt naked, to a tree in the most public location i can think of, with honey smeared all over him/her so that ants/creepy crawlies/snakes will devour him/her, slowly.
i will also erect a sign statin the commited crime of puttin tissue paper into the wash, so that all irate housewives/househusbands/maids/people-who-do-laundry who have had the misfortune of sufferin the same sad fate at the hands of other evil-doers, can take out their unhappiness and exact vengeance on this "scapegoat", which will then serve as a reminder to all other nincompoops out there the penalties of puttin tissue paper in the wash, so that the world can hopefully become a peaceful, lovin, NO TISSUE PAPER IN LAUNDRY place for our future generations to grow up in.
hmmm. seems like an awful amount of work. plus, i'm gonna be so tired from "de-fluffin" the clothes..
on second thoughts, i'll just take a "gala" pole (those poles you hang laundry on) and hammer the idiot.