am i weird (or just plain evil) for findin this freakin funny?
Jesus is hanging on the cross and John approaches.
John says: "Jesus, its John. How may I serve thee ain thy time of need?"
Jesus replies: "YEEEAAAAAAAARGGHGGGHGGHGGGHGGHGGH!!!!!"
i am so guilty of blasphemy.. and then, the obligatory follow up :
What's the difference between the Pope and Michael Jackson?
The Pope is dead.
right. that's it. i am SO goin to hell for sure. but at least i'll have company, in the form of WAYNE. heh. adolf hitler II. heh.
and finally! we have a solid answer to the question that has plagued us all for generations :
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Earlier that morning the farmers daughter had inadvertantly left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distacted of late.
Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soybean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture removalists van as it attempted to make its way home.
(continues - edited out)
check out more jokes with realistic endins - via cowboy caleb