My Name Is Eileen. I Am A Freakazoid. Hello.
... *poke* ... *sniff* ... *poke* ...
Saturday, March 05, 2005


i just found out that i have been lied to for the past year.

so many lies. so many stories. so much deceit.

bastard.

oh, of course, some of the lies involved i already found out about along the way.

but i came to terms with that.

people have tried to tell me about the other parts of the deceitful web you weaved.

but i couldnt believe it. chose not to believe it, maybe.

because it just seemed so hard to believe. so difficult to imagine that you could lie about something like that.

and you managed to hide it for so long.

even to the point of staring me straight in the face and telling me it was not true when i asked you about it.

and you even somehow managed to turn it around and make it my fault for asking stupid questions and being unreasonable.

oh, and what a way to find out.

i guess you would never for the life of you have imagined that i would find that and uncover your lies.

but i havent told you that i finally know the truth.

i dont see the point anymore.

i just cant be bothered to start another fight or argument with a worthless piece of shit like you over something that really doesnt concern me any longer.

i truly pity the people around you that love you.

i can imagine how their hearts would break if they realised the magnitude to which you have been playing with their lives and their feelings all this while.

and i feel so sorry for them.

they have my full and complete heartfelt sympathies and condolences.

make no mistake.

it still hurts like hell.

even though its no longer in the way that it hurt when i loved you.

but it hurts because i realise how utterly stupid and foolish i have been over the past year.

it hurts to be lied to, even when it comes from someone like you.

and what truly hurts the most, hurts me so badly i cant breathe and hurts me so much that i just want to beat the shit outta you.

is that you left me with a tangible problem to solve.

but i am still thankful.

because now i know that you are truly gone from my life and my heart.

one year of my life has already been wasted.

so much precious time, energy, effort and priceless feelings - all thrown away on you.

i shall not waste anymore on you.

you're not bloody worth it.

*****

Leave (Get Out) - JoJo

I've been waiting all day for ya babe
So won't cha come and sit and talk to me
And tell me how we're gonna be together always
Hope you know when it's late at night
I Hold on to my pillow tight
And think of how you promised me forever
(I never thought that anyone)
Could make me feel this way
(Now that you're here boy all I want)
Is just a chance to say

[Chorus]
Get Out, (leave) right now,
It's the end of you and me
It's too late (now) and I can't wait for you to be gone
'Cause I know about her (who) and I wonder (why) how I bought all the lies
You said that you would treat me right but you was just a waste of time (waste of time)

Tell me why you're looking so confused
When I'm the one who didn't know the truth
How could you ever be so cold
To go behind my back and call my friend
Boy you must have gone and bumped your head
Because you left her number on your phone
(So now after all is said and done)
Maybe I'm the one to blame but
(To think that you could be the one)
Well it didn't work out that way

[Chorus]

I wanted you right here with me but I have no choice you've gotta leave
Because my heart is breakin
With every word I'm sayin
I gave up everything I had
On something that just wouldn't last
But I refuse to cry
No tears will fall from these eyes
Get out

[Chorus X3]


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