My Name Is Eileen. I Am A Freakazoid. Hello.
... *poke* ... *sniff* ... *poke* ...
Thursday, March 31, 2005


HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my dearest darling "baby" sister : HAZEY ! :)



good thing? bad thing?

my god.

i have NEVER been picked up so many times in one night (within a space of 3 hrs, to be precise.) ever before in my entire life!

it was so weird.

it seriously seemed like everywhere i turned, even when i stuck myself in a corner tryin to be inconspicuous, there were people hittin on me, tryin to dance with me, offerin me drinks, askin for my number, comin up to talk to me, blah blah.

oh, its very flatterin, definitely. but honestly, it got pretty irritatin after awhile. i just wanted to chill out and do my own thing but i couldnt cos they wouldnt leave me alone! sigh.

bummer.

oh well, i guess i should really look at this in a positive light. at least people bother to try to pick me up. which i shall take as a compliment. so i shall not be ungrateful and just be appreciative that i still got it in me. yesh.

unless, of course, you look at things from wayne's point of view - which subscribes to the view that I AM A PSYCHO / WEIRDO / CRAYZEE / BASTARD / etc MAGNET.

which i think i really am. in a way. meh.

bummer.

***

p/s : i'm not tryin to brag about this or anythin, just so u know. i'm just very amazed and amused by it. and thats why i'm bloggin 'bout it. so if u think i'm tryin to be "hao lian" and am wavin this in ur face, u're dead wrong. cos i ain't. but if u insist on thinkin that way, then please just bugger off. thank u for ur co-operation.


Saturday, March 26, 2005

doo-bee-doo-bee-doo

the long weekend's been a blast so far. gonna get more hectic as it winds down. many many photos too.

but more on that later - shall save bloggin about it for back to the office on monday. at least it'll give me somethin to do to ward of those disgustin back-to-work-after-long-holiday-cum-monday blues. bleh.

*****

the best friend FINALLY decided to message me to let me know he's safe and sound in the land of oz - after 2 days! well, at least now i know he didn't get lost or kidnapped or deported or beat up by the ozzies. heh.

"Hello, Brandon here. Forgot to inform you tat I've touched down safely. So here goes... "I've touched down safely"

me best friend is a kook. but he still THE MAN. heh.

*****

havent seen the hups gang since... tuesday night? and no playin of number ball this weekend! (yet? haha.)



mtv's whatever things rocks my ding dongs!

seriously. this show is some amazin freaky farnee awesome shite! and of course, edison chen is so hot i would throw myself on him in an instant and be his ever faithful lovin slave without a doubt.

this episode was hilarious. and edison looked gor-gee-us!! even in the segment where he had to wear the crazy messy long haired wig and the so-geeky-its-almost-cool specs. the boy is perfection personified, man.

segment 1 : the ma-la hot pot eatin competition. punishment for droppin out - gettin ur tongue zapped with that electric fly swatter thingy.

segment 2 : toilet head - the guys piss into the bowl till its all digustin and foamy and puke inducin just lookin at it, then one guy dunks his head in and sorta just absorbs all this piss with his hair. its freakin funny in a gross way.

segment 3 : the electric shock pen - they zap themselves and go around gettin unsuspectin people on the street to unknowingly (and in some cases, knowingly! one guy even took off his shirt and willingly had his nipples zapped. heh.) give themselves an electric buzz. the reactions are definitely laugh-out-loud hilarious.

segment 4 : vaness wu gets punked.

segment 5 : a bunch of guys and girls lock themselves in a freezer, where the temperature is supposed to be at -18 degrees but they just let it get colder and colder. and they get water thrown at them in the freezer. towards the end, when there are only 2 of them left, one guy kinda passes out so they bring him out - and when he comes out, they dump water with ice cubes on him. eeevvviiiillll!!! so sadistic and assinine its funny.

which reminds me. we really should get the hups gang together and do one of these jackass home videos sorta shite. i know we were plannin to - at least, the bee wanted to. heh.

it would be so awesome! i can just imagine all of us doin crazy shite. hell, we do it all the time already! why not just take it one step further and get it on video for posterity!

rock my ding dongs, man. totally.


Wednesday, March 23, 2005

basement car park wanderings

the other day in the office, i was feelin so irritated with my idiot boss and freezin from the artic-like aircon so i decided to go for a walk. in the basement car park of my building.

i was just wanderin around, smokin my ciggies, when i chanced upon this :


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a DAIMLER! call me suaku, but i dont think i've ever seen one of these before in singapore.

and it looks so.. vintage. so retro, so european aristocrat. even the interior was different from modern cars - it had cream leather seats and the works. damn stylo.

note the twin exhaust pipes, as circled in the last photo. phwoar!

and the license plate was not the usual ones you see - it was "letter-letter-number-number-number-number" (cannot put the actual license plate number here. wait kena sued or something. jia lak.)

i really wonder who drives it. i kinda pictured an upper class old dude. or an ang moh. but maybe it was a lady, an english tai-tai. or perhaps even a dashing young man with a love for old fashioned goodness.

but the car! my goodness. maybe it's just one of those things you gotta see in person lah. dont think the pictures i took fully give justice to the beauty of the vehicle (silly grainy handphone camera. bah.) it really gleamed and shone and sparkled - even in the dark concrete basement car park!

it was gorgeous.

on continuin my walk (after gawking at the daimler a good 10min or so.) i spotted one of my favourite-est cars :


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AUDI TT COUPE! *drool* i want me one of these!!


and i saw so many jaguars! madness. there was one in practically every row of cars. the big ones, the small ones, the old ones, the new ones. wah.

of course, there were the usual range - the nissans, the toyotas, the mitsubishis, the subarus, the hondas, the hyundais, quite a number of bmws, a coupla lexuses, scatterings of others and a few vans.

it was pretty interestin, actually. just walkin around, checkin out the cars, droolin at the nice ones, wonderin what the drivers of each car might be like..

i should go walk around the car park more often. ya never know, i might meet a hot guy with a great personality and a "powder-ful" car one day! ha!



so exciting!

the first time leaving singapore.
the first time going overseas.
the first time visiting australia.
the first time on an airplane.
the first time travelling alone.
the first time seeing your girlfriend in more than a month.

so many "first"s for the best friend!! headin up to sunny brisbane for the weekend to visit sue-lynn..

so excited for ya, bro!

enjoy your trip, have fun, be safe, take good care, revel in the experience, take lotsa pics, dont get lost, dont terrorise the australians too much, make funny home video for us to watch, love to sue-lynn.

see ya when you get back next week. love ya! :D


Tuesday, March 22, 2005

think happy thoughts

wah. i'm still buzzin from the alcohol. amazin, really, what alcohol can do to me. i'm all happy happy cheerful and chirpy and laughing and stuff.

but i've been a naughty girl. hee.

my detox diet shite which i was supposed to start this week, has effectively been thrown out the window and smashed to smithereens. and my resolve to be less, erm, lackadaisical when it comes to work, has also been chucked into the garbage bin.

well, its just for today. i badly needed a break anyhow, after the past few days of extreme busy-ness and fights and tension in the office. batteries need to be recharged every now and then, y'know - especially humanoid ones. heh.

it started last night.

i was feelin horribly cranky and moody and shitty and i dragged wayne out with me to hups for beer, at 11.30pm. roy happened to pass by. so the 3 of us were just chillin out, talkin, psycho-analysing, discussin - until 4am.

maybe cos i haven't had alcohol the entire of last week, but the beer really hit the spot and made me feel oh so much better. i know its probably pretty much psychological, but hey, if it works and gets me relaxed - why the hell not? in moderation, of course.

so then i inadvertently woke up late today (and the only reason i woke up in the first place was cos my phone rang.)

met taufique for lunch in orchard until around 2ish. after which, i really didnt feel like goin back to the office, so i took the day off and parked myself at the cafe outside wisma to chill.

decided to have ONE beer, which somehow became TWO. people watchin is great in town cos you get all sorts - the gorgeous ones, the school kids, the aunties, the tourists, the couples, the cha-chats...

it felt so touristy, like i was on holiday! damn relaxin. one of the best feelins you can get in the world. i had my booze, my music, my ciggies, my shades...

all that was missin - a laptop and/or a good book.

was supposed to hang around town till 6pm and meet my mum for shoppin, but it got too hot and i was gettin tipsy (eh, drinkin in the afternoons really makes you buzz damn fast.) so i came home.

and then the cab ride back with the farnee driver. cracked me up, it did! tellin me my sunglasses were very nice, wantin to buy them from me, askin me to shave my head bald and wear big earrings and wear "sexy sexy" with the shades and walk down orchard road - "wah! sure become star man you! sure many people turn and look at you! power sia!"

haha. yes, uncle. but are they lookin at me cos i look good, or i look weird - that is the question we should ask!

and askin me to join the miss singapore universe..

"how to join, uncle?! i liddat cannot lah!"
"why cannot?! sure can one! i see the girls on tv, all cannot make it man! all not nice one! you go, sure can! sure better than them!"

bwahahaha! well, if you say so, uncle. heh.

but now, i feel rejuvenated. in a wonderful mood. ready to face whatever tomorrow decides to throw at me.

before ya know it, the weekend's here. and its gonna be a LONG one. woot! and the clubbin shall go on. heh.

takin a day off to recharge and just chill out is absolutely bestest of the best. yay!


Thursday, March 17, 2005

no, i am NOT malay

i wonder - was wednesday the official "interrogate-eileen-about-her-race-and-piss-her-off" day?

i swear, if one more person comes up to me and assumes or asks if i'm malay, i am gonna snap and hammer the bugger!

everyone is askin me! it seems that everywhere i turn there's someone waiting to leap outta the shadows and pounce on me and interrogate me on my racial background!

what is up, man!

i'm not bein racist, by the way. it just irritates me to be kept askin the same question over and over!

i got it from the taxi driver.
"miss, are you malay? you speak malay? i am malay!"

(er, yes, ok uncle. you malay. i not malay. so what you want me to do about it?!)

i got it from the guy in the next door office.
"hey, how come you can speak chinese?! i thought you were malay or something."

(na. beh. next time dunno ASK lah. jumpin to your own silly conclusions.. tsk.)

i got it from the auntie sellin newspapers - she was speakin in malay to me and when i answered her in chinese, she looked like she was about to fall off the chair.

"wah, xiao mei, ni shi hua ren ah? bu xiang leh! xiang ma lai ren. ni hua yu hen hao hor."

which means "wah, little sister, you're chinese ah? dont look like leh! look like malay. your chinese very good hor."

(yes thank you auntie. now please just gimme me magazine so i can move away from your table under the blazin sun. hot lah, dei!)

i got it from the schoolgirls on their flag day.

"excuse me, would you like to donate?"

as i am diggin for coins, she suddenly bursts out "are you malay?"

huh. so i smile politely and say no.

"oh, ok. *giggle giggle* you looked abit malay. *giggle giggle* your eyes very nice. *giggle giggle* thanks for donating! bye! *giggle giggle*"

(... meh. at least she said i had nice eyes. but the giggling! my god! spawn of joker, i tell you!)

i got it from the guy collectin donations for ex-convicts at $10 and in return you get a token of appreciation which was a small calculator and pen set that looked like, accordin to someone i cant remember who, a vibrator.

this guy just comes up to me and starts blabberin away in malay while i sit and stare at him.

after awhile and gettin no response from me, he finally thinks to ask "oh, sorry, you're not malay? i thought you were! sorry sorry."

then he starts the entire speech again. in english. sigh.

(i donated the $10 though. i almost always do. i'm a sucker for these help-the-needy shite. easy prey, i think i'm called. huh.)

irritatin.

if you ask me if i'm indian, i can say YES - cos i'm 1/4 indian.
if you ask me if i'm eurasian, i can say YES - cos i'm 1/4 eurasian.
if you ask me if i'm peranakan, i can say YES - cos i'm 1/4 (erm, more like 1/8.) peranakan.
if you ask me if i'm chinese, i can say YES - cos i'm 3/8 chinese.

but if you ask me if i'm MALAY, i say NO - becos that is the one blood outta the 4 major singaporean racial groups i DO NOT have!

i have no idea why this entire issue pisses me off so much. maybe its just cos i am so damned irritated by so many people askin me the same bloody question in one day!

sheesh.



wednesday night - ladies night - but where was my alcohol?!

last night i was out till almost 6am. and i wasnt even clubbin! meh. sittin at hups, drinkin my teh bing, bummin around.

at first there was many many - me, bran, scott, wayne, mike, trev, pete

then the tired ones went home - bran and scott

then the late one came - roy

then some went to play game at mike's - pete, trev, mike

and then there were just three little piggies - me, wayne, roy

i was suprisingly awake. attempted to stay awake and hang around long enough to eat breakfast before heading home and to the office.

but. halfway through the second half of the liverpool match, with 30min left to go - it was crash and burn.

i suddenly missed my bed too much to be apart from it any longer.

and, i still had to go to work - surviving the entire day on just 2hrs of sleep! and i actually managed to make it through a full day of busy-ness.

unlike wayne, who cheated, and took the day off from work. bleh.

and after work, i still had the strength to go walkin around toa payoh central. semi-shopping and searchin for dinner to appease my sufferin tummy.

phwoar. i power. i feel energised. somehow. strange.

hyperactive loco energiser bunny from outer space! muahahaha!


Wednesday, March 16, 2005

DOCTORS - #&*^@#

these goons in their shirts and ties and stethoscopes and glasses (eh, seriously. look around. at least 80% of docs wear specs!)..

you know what about them? i'll tell you what.

they can be such bloody sick sadistic sons-of-bitches lah!

ahem. in order to cover my backside at this point of time after the above proclaimation, let me just state, for the record, that not all docs are evil stethoscope wielding freaks. just some. and especially the ONE PARTICULAR crazy i met this morning!

ugh. i'm suprised i had the self determination and willpower not to beat the crap outta him.

why am i so upset? because he's a sick freak lah! and there's also the fact that i am extraordinarily cranky because i'm hungry and thirsty and craving nicotine!

i havent eaten / drunk / smoked since 11pm last night and i am DYING.

madness.


Thursday, March 10, 2005

i'm so lovable! aha!

eXpressive: 8/10
Practical: 3/10
Physical: 4/10
Giver: 8/10

You are a XSIG--Expressive Sentimental Intellectual Giver. This makes you a Teddy Bear.

Hee! I just want to give you a big squeeze. You are tender, honest, generous and fair. You are an excellent kisser and a sensitive, communicative lover, and you know it. You would never intentionally hurt someone's feelings or overstep his/her boundaries. You have beautiful eyes.

Most people take your laid-back attitude, blazing wit and subtle sexiness and stick you in "friend." But some see your extreme hotness for what it is and latch on. This means you have a few members of your target sex in the bank at all times -- I call this "money in the sex bank" -- but you're too sensitive and thoughtful to exploit them. More than once.

You are so rational and deliberate in an argument that it can frustrate and exhaust your partner. Your fights can take forever, but your press on with them until they are completely resolved and both you and your partner are satisfied. If your partner is weak of will, s/he may just give in -- be wary of this! An emotional or passive-aggressive outburst later will hurt and horrify you.

It is *critically important* that you are able to respect your partner. The moment you lose respect for him/her, you lose everything.

When you make friends, you make them for life -- you can go without speaking to a friend for years and pick up right where you left off. You are completely faithful, both physically and emotionally. You are the second best (to XPIG) parent of any type.

If you are male, you have a huge shlong. Just saying.

Of the 206975 people who have taken this quiz, 7.9 % are this type.

*****

my god. my ego has been inflated by taking this quiz.

although, its darn true, if i do say so myself. ha! er, except for the "shlong" portion, of course. heh.


take the quiz!



liverpool rocks my socks

w00t!

leverkusen 1 - 3 liverpool

liverpool win 6 - 2 on aggregate.

which is totally fantastic.

and what a fantastic game! except for the bloody referee and completely blind linesman that didnt award baros a penalty during the early minutes. grumble.

garcia was wonderful. dudek was fantastic. baros was superb. EVERYONE was TERRIFIC!

i actually woke up at 6am just to catch the match. and i was jumping up and down and screaming and shouting and running around the house celebrating the goals and frightening the people in my house as they were just waking up.

my dad actually burst into my room shouting "what, what!" in panic in response to one of my screams of joy.

bwahahahaha!

but it was so exhausting. i felt so so so tired from all the excitement and vigorous actions after the match. but at least i think i satisfied my daily exercise requirements. ha!

and juventus dumped real madrid outta the champions league. yay, juve!

glorious day. its a good day to be alive. heh.


Saturday, March 05, 2005


i just found out that i have been lied to for the past year.

so many lies. so many stories. so much deceit.

bastard.

oh, of course, some of the lies involved i already found out about along the way.

but i came to terms with that.

people have tried to tell me about the other parts of the deceitful web you weaved.

but i couldnt believe it. chose not to believe it, maybe.

because it just seemed so hard to believe. so difficult to imagine that you could lie about something like that.

and you managed to hide it for so long.

even to the point of staring me straight in the face and telling me it was not true when i asked you about it.

and you even somehow managed to turn it around and make it my fault for asking stupid questions and being unreasonable.

oh, and what a way to find out.

i guess you would never for the life of you have imagined that i would find that and uncover your lies.

but i havent told you that i finally know the truth.

i dont see the point anymore.

i just cant be bothered to start another fight or argument with a worthless piece of shit like you over something that really doesnt concern me any longer.

i truly pity the people around you that love you.

i can imagine how their hearts would break if they realised the magnitude to which you have been playing with their lives and their feelings all this while.

and i feel so sorry for them.

they have my full and complete heartfelt sympathies and condolences.

make no mistake.

it still hurts like hell.

even though its no longer in the way that it hurt when i loved you.

but it hurts because i realise how utterly stupid and foolish i have been over the past year.

it hurts to be lied to, even when it comes from someone like you.

and what truly hurts the most, hurts me so badly i cant breathe and hurts me so much that i just want to beat the shit outta you.

is that you left me with a tangible problem to solve.

but i am still thankful.

because now i know that you are truly gone from my life and my heart.

one year of my life has already been wasted.

so much precious time, energy, effort and priceless feelings - all thrown away on you.

i shall not waste anymore on you.

you're not bloody worth it.

*****

Leave (Get Out) - JoJo

I've been waiting all day for ya babe
So won't cha come and sit and talk to me
And tell me how we're gonna be together always
Hope you know when it's late at night
I Hold on to my pillow tight
And think of how you promised me forever
(I never thought that anyone)
Could make me feel this way
(Now that you're here boy all I want)
Is just a chance to say

[Chorus]
Get Out, (leave) right now,
It's the end of you and me
It's too late (now) and I can't wait for you to be gone
'Cause I know about her (who) and I wonder (why) how I bought all the lies
You said that you would treat me right but you was just a waste of time (waste of time)

Tell me why you're looking so confused
When I'm the one who didn't know the truth
How could you ever be so cold
To go behind my back and call my friend
Boy you must have gone and bumped your head
Because you left her number on your phone
(So now after all is said and done)
Maybe I'm the one to blame but
(To think that you could be the one)
Well it didn't work out that way

[Chorus]

I wanted you right here with me but I have no choice you've gotta leave
Because my heart is breakin
With every word I'm sayin
I gave up everything I had
On something that just wouldn't last
But I refuse to cry
No tears will fall from these eyes
Get out

[Chorus X3]



fresh from the mind of a U-NEEK individual

i've got an amazing crick in my neck that just refuses to go away.

it's on the left side and sometimes its so bad that i cant even turn my head an inch without wincing.

na beh.

*****

what kind of a slogan is "word of mouth, we aim for!"?!

and it was on the truck of a moving company somemore.

how is that in any bloody way relevant?! and the grammar is stupendously horrigible. i'm so amazed.

*****

it has been proven beyond doubt that i go loco in the mornings when i stay up the entire night previously playing number ball.

i am actually capable of sitting there laughing uncontrollably to myself. for what reason i have no idea except that i am so damn easily amused.

sometimes just by the fact that i am laughing uncontrollably for nothing and then it seems so silly to me that i start laughing even harder and i cant stop.

yesh. i go absolutely LOCO.

*****

how can anyone not find this funny?!

Q : what do you call a fake subaru WRX?
A : bluff-u-R-X.

Q : what do you call a fake mitsublishi evolution?
A : evo-loser.

i find it completely hilarious!

and for the record, i didnt make this one up. the credit should go to an old friend who told it to me over cigarettes early one morning around 2am.

and its really damn funny, lah!

*****

i suddenly have cravings for pineapples.

very inexplainable and completely out-of-nowhere.

*****

i need to find out the name of that song in that heineken television advert.

the one that goes "bom diggy bom de bom diggy diggy ... something something something" and the people in the ad start moving uncontrollably.

that song is so damn cool.

the last time i heard it was at rouge when andrew and josh were spinning.

i think trev told me the name of the group that did the song, but for the life of me now, i simply cannot remember!

pek chek.

*****

i'm hungry.


Friday, March 04, 2005

will this sickness NEVER go away?!

i have had a bitch of a headache for the past 3 days. it has not gone away. i go to sleep with it. i wake up with it. for 3 fucking whole days.

my cough got worse overnight. i went to sleep yesterday feeling better and not coughing as much. i woke up in the early hours of the morning, coughing my lungs out and literally crying from the pain and discomfort.

i also woke up drenched in cold sweat. and feeling very faint.

when i left the house to come to work, the world was spinning around me. i had to squat by the roadside while waiting for a taxi because i was seconds away from passing out. i saw flashes of white spots before my eyes, interspersed with black spots when i tried to blink away the white spots.

i was hyperventilating in the taxi. the only thing that stopped me from literally getting down on all fours and crawling from the roadside up to my office was my dignity. and also the many people walking around that would have called the mental institution upon seeing me acting like a doggy and whimpering, trying to climb the stairs and cross the road.

i have just come back from the toilet. where i spent 10min hunched over the toilet bowl (thank goodness the cleaners have already done their duties at said toilet for today.) puking out white foam.

the term "feeling like shit" is an understatement right now.


Thursday, March 03, 2005

across the oceans, miles away, you are still my friend

i bumped into another old friend from my secondary school / far east times the other day while walkin home. this guy happens to be my neighbour (sort of. we live barely 2 blocks away from each other.) and we used to meet up pretty often in those days for a smoke and bumming sessions.

i havent seen him for years and years. i think its around 8 or 9 years, to be exact. we just sorta lost contact along the way.

we ended up talking for 3 hrs over cigarettes that night. reminding each other about old times, catching up on the years we lost, discussing random issues that sprang to mind.

at one point, he remarked to me that it was strange how we havent seen each other for almost a decade but yet we were carrying on a conversation as if we never lost contact at all. it really seemed as though all those years seperating us were a mere illusion.

and i suppose it is pretty amazing. but that comfortable feeling was just.. there. and i went home feeling happy and with a smile on my face.

and i started thinking.

over the years, i've occasionally passed by his block and wondered about him, in the way you would wonder about old friends that you were once pretty close to and spent quite abit of time with. i'd seen his mum around once or twice, but never him. so i figured that he had probably moved out or gone overseas. as so many of my friends have done.

seriously. i think about 3/4 of the people i used to know when i was younger have left this sunny isle for other pastures overseas. and half of that number are still across those oceans and will probably not come back if they can help it. the other half that left, came back, but sadly, contact was lost somewhere along the way.

you see? this is why i could never handle a long distance relationship. its bad enough trying to maintain friendships over the years and across millions of kilometers of land mass and at least one or two oceans. somemore want to maintain a serious relationship?!

no offense to all those that are currently handling long distance relationships or those who have done it before and survived (or not.) especially my best friend and s.i.l. of course i truly wish you guys all the best and sincerely pray that you will make it work.

but the truth is, more often than not, things arent so rosy and perfect in real life.



things happen. people change. environments are different. you get lonely. you meet new people. make new friends to replace the ones you left behind and start to have more in common with the new people than with the old. you start thinking too much or too little. blah blah blah.

and then everything falls apart. which really is an extremely sad and heartbreaking thing.

and some people can handle it. they make it through. they survive.

but i've heard one too many horror stories. and i've been through too many heartbreaks.


it hurts even when close friends leave you and are no longer in the same geographical location as you. it hurts because deep down, you know that things will never be same again, no matter how many promises are made and no matter how hard you try to maintain it.

in retrospect, i realise now that alot of the fault lies with me. being young, footloose, fancy-free, and fresh to the adult world, i was probably too busy and too caught up with exploring my own environment and meeting new people to bother too much about maintaining old friendships, even though all it would have taken was an email or a letter.

so, i let the people that were once so important to me fade away, seperated by oceans and continents.

and recently, i've started bumping into a lot of old pals. people that i used to share many good times with and who endured many a youthful trial and tribulation and joy and silliness together with me.

sometimes, we manage to pick up where we left off, and the comfortable feeling we once shared in each others company is still there, just buried under the years. and at times like these, i always walk away from the catching up sessions (no matter if they are 3 mins by the roadside or 3 hrs over coffee.) with a warm glow all over and happiness in my heart and a smile on my face.

but, sometimes, i realise that the distance and the years that have seperated us have changed us forever, and the comfortable feelings are too far gone to be salvaged. we become strangers again, or at the very most, aquaintances on the streets. on these occasions, i feel a pang in my heart and a lingering sadness for the friendship we once shared and have since lost.

i'm a person that needs, and thrives, in physical closeness and contact (eh, dont think dirty!)

i need to see my loved ones, to be with them when i can, to hear their voice and know they are just a taxi / bus / mrt ride away.

and its just so difficult when they are so far away. and its too painful to know that they cant be there by your side when you need them the most. and too depressing when you realise that you cant be there with them when they badly need you too.

but i will make a promise to myself and my dear friends. from now on, i will make the effort to maintain our friendships, even over the oceans and across the continents.

if we change, and we can no longer be as comfortable with each other as before, or for whatever other reason, at least i will know that i have tried. and thats all i can hope for.


Tuesday, March 01, 2005

how many chin ups can you do?

my daddy installed an exercise bar in my toilet doorway this evening, for my brother's use in his everlasting pursuit of a bigger body.

i read the packaging and the bar is supposed to be a chin up bar. so i decided to try it, just for laughs. eh, i used to be able to do the inclined flex arm hang in secondary school for almost a minute, ok?! and yes, that was a very very good timing. it was gold standard for the fitness tests, hor.

so, i am proud to say, that i am the supreme achiever of ONE CHIN UP.

and that, my dear friends, was actually not a full on chin up / pull up. considering that i jumped up, grabbed the bar around shoulder level and hoisted my chin a mere 1 inch over the bar.

and then i crashed to the floor from the enormous strain on my arms.

pathetic.

i really need to start working out and keeping fit and exercising and living a healthy lifestyle. i shall get off my fat butt and start swimming / jogging / hitting the gym.

this time i'm serious! i shall tone up my flabby body and look like a goddess. (if only because of a silly reason, but its reason nonetheless. hee.)

NOTE : and because i'm feeling so pathetic about my unhealthiness and my hopeless inability to do pull ups, i am now attempting to console myself by gorging on a tub of swensen's sinfully yummy disgustingly fattening STICKY CHEWY CHOCOLATE ice cream. this stuff rocks! slurp!

*****

oh my goodness!! look at this!



someone killed my wall!!

i didnt notice it just now when i first saw the exercise bar, but i just popped into the toilet and this enormous hole in the bathroom doorway was gaping at me!

what the hell happened?! i can only conclude that a very unfortunate accident occurred whilst my daddy was drilling the holes and installing the exercise bar. or maybe my brother is just too strong for these hdb flat walls and he ended up semi demolishing the wall while doing his pull ups. tsk.

my house is falling apart. sigh.


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