My Name Is Eileen. I Am A Freakazoid. Hello.
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Monday, December 27, 2004

my christmas RANT

christmas has come and gone. back to the disgusting daily grind of slavery and work. at least until this weekend - NEW YEAR'S!

yay! i'm such a holiday whore. heh.

anyhow. christmas this year just felt "wrong". i dunno why. just this feeling that something wasnt quite right. like something was missing.

WHAT?! someone please help me figure it out, dammit! before i dwell on it for too long and end up exploding from overuse of (my already very extremely limited) brain cells! gah.

the ATMOSPHERE was different. and i've heard a lot of similar complaints from friends that this year, there was "JUST NO MOOD".. how come liddat?!

maybe its becos we're all getting older.

the simple joys and fantasies of christmas no longer hold excitement for our society-warped, 9-to-5-worklife-beaten, pressures-and-burdens-of-adulthood selves.

we no longer hold onto our childlike simplicity. everything has become so complicated as we struggle with our lives and the neverending troubles we inevitably encounter in the "adult world".

remember how we used to celebrate christmas when we were kids?

the joy at getting presents...
the wonderful lights and decorations everywhere...
the laughter and happiness in the air...
the yummy yummy food on the tables...
the camaraderie all around...
and more. so much more!

and then we were teenagers...

holidays were an excuse to party. clubbing. dancing the nite away. spending time with friends.

still, we looked forward to christmas. even if it was just so that we could go out and get pissed drunk and club till the wee hours of the morning.

and then we crossed the threshold into adulthood. we became "grown-ups"...

and we threw everything out the window.

sigh.

christmas has become another HALLMARK HOLIDAY. over marketed and over hyped.

people have become such cynics.

and as much as i try my very best to hold on to my last vestiges of child-like appreciation for this once the-very-greatest-and-most-important-of-all-holidays...

i find myself relishing christmas less and less, and dreading it more and more as each year passes.

which is why, this year, i firmly insisted on giving out presents to my friends and family.

it didnt really matter whether i would get anything back from anyone.

i just wanted to revisit the warm feeling christmas used to give me, when i was younger and the practise of exchanging presents at christmas time was something special and joyous and put a smile on everyone's face.

besides. it really doesnt feel like christmas, to me, without the presents!

and you know what?

giving out presents to people and seeing smiles on faces actually honestly truly DID make me feel happy and it really did give me a warm feeling...

and i'm so very glad i did it. even though it burned a humungous hole in my poor lil pocket.

and that, dear friends, is my take on christmas in the year 2004.

the only thing i have to say right now is...

"ENVY THE CHILDREN"


i want to look at world through a child's eyes again. i want to rediscover what simple joys truly are. i want to appreciate and savour the things we take for granted. i want to be less complicated. i want to live life and enjoy it.

can i?



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