My Name Is Eileen. I Am A Freakazoid. Hello.
... *poke* ... *sniff* ... *poke* ...
Thursday, November 25, 2004

today's nonsensical ramblings

omg. i cant do this. whatever made me think i can! i cant. its so hard.

crash bang boom. turn to ashes. now all it is is dust in the wind.

friendster is evil.

ugh. sigh. *sob*

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this guy is farnee-ha-ha. what is it about in-your-face sarcasm that attracts me so?? oh yes. i forgot. i'm sadomasochistic. i enjoy pain. heh. check out these links.

how to kill yourself like a man.

farts.

phrases that he dont like.

greeting cards.

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A mom dad and baby tomato are walking down the street and the baby starts to lag behind so the dad goes back and smashes the baby and says "ketchup!".

Two sausages are in a pan. One looks at the other and says "god it's hot in here." and the other sausage says "OH MY GOD IT'S A TALKING SAUSAGE!"

why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was too chicken.

Why don't cannibals eat comedians? Because they taste funny.

What does mozart do now that he is dead? He decomposes.

What's the worst part about eating vegetables? Those damn wheelchairs.

Where does a one armed man shop? At a second hand store.

Why can't skeletons play music in church? They have no organs.


A little boy asked his grandmother, "grandma, how old are you?" She replied, "you shouldn't ask me questions like that." The young boy asked another question, "how much do you weigh?" The grandmother replied, "you shouldn't ask me questions like that!"
The little boy went back to school and told his friends about the coversation he had with his grandmother and how he was unable to get an answer from her. The little boy's friends advised him to look on her drivers license, all the information will be there.
The next week when the little boy was visiting his grandmother he told her he knew how much she weighed and how old she was. The grandmother didn't believe him until he told her,"you weigh 130lb., and you are 65 years old." Then the little boy in a bashful way whispered to his grandmother, "I also know you got an F in Sex".


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this is just so damn sweet. altogether now, awwwwww...

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth."

Billy - age 4

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."

Jessica - age 8

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oh wow. its raining cats and dogs and elephants and dinosaurs outside. no wonder i'm so damn bloody cold. and i dont have a jacket. i wish those idiots would turn off the aircon. *brrr* i miss snuggling under my comforter.

and why cant it rain money? or men? or both! haha.


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